A new life said:
Can't help you at all, because I'm in the same boat.
I think self esteem must be the world's most precious and rare commodity.
Good luck to us both.
I completely agree. I'm willing to give away just about anything to have good self-esteem.
Good luck to you too.
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Sci-Fi said:
Same here. You just have to swallow your fears and jump in and do it. Scariest thing in the world, haven't been able to do it myself.
Yeah. Fear isn't fun at all. If you don't mind me asking; Are you speaking with a professional about your fear? I know that can be very hard for some people. At least that was the case for me.
Not sure where exactly you are in life right now. One thing that I like to try for practice is go out to a public place and look for people who aren't in a hurry. Just simple eye contact and add a, "Hey There." Maybe you could give it a try this Easter weekend...
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Petia said:
Why do you feel like this? Is there something in your past (bad relationship, for example) that make you feel like "damaged goods"?
I've spent more time sitting here thinking about a response than I care to admit. At first my reaction to this thread was sort of a;
"Yay! Complete strangers have actually bothered to reply!" But then my facial expression sorta changed to a -_- when I thought about that question.
It's difficult for me to point to one particular thing. Sorry. I know that this isn't even an actual answer... But it's all I have...
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shysilhouette said:
6.8 billion individuals living upon planet earth. The existence of online dating. The motor car, aeroplane, boat, train.
If you want to find someone, you will and can find someone.
However, the feeling you wrote of is very common! If one or more relationships ended and you are unaware of the reason why, you will place the blame upon yourself. If you have never been in a relationship you will still place the blame onto yourself.
Just don't give up so easily
!!!!
Now that's an awesome attitude. Thanks.
Lonesome Crow said:
Your are not your thoughts, feelings or behaviors
You have thoughts, feelings and behaviors.
Stop identifying yourself as your thoughts, feelings N behaviors.
Learn to observe your thoughts, feelings N behaviors ( Some people term this as self actualazation)
Some explain this same process as getting into your higher conciousness/super consious.
Other gose about it saying your a spiritaul being having a human experience.
In other words you have the power to ulter your thoughts..therefore ulter your feelings then your behaviors.
Change your thinking..change your life.
Other times you might need to ulter your actions...."take the body first than the brain will follow."
You can start doing simple exercise. It might seem childish to you at first.
Focus at different objects at various distance from you. It only takes 5 mins p/day
What this dose is help take control or discipline your brain. You have the power to focus or refocus.
Once you get a hang of it..then apply this simple process to your thoughts.
You have a chioce what to focus on...negative thoughts or positive thoughts.
Do the same with your actions...Do simple exercises at first.
Such as folding a piece of paper into an air plans or whatever objects.
It's getting you into having control of your actions.
I got these simple suggestions from a book written by Doctors.
These simple excersize had helped me a lot in taking control of my life or changing my behaviors or life.
Good advice. That kind of determination is great to have... Right now I'm trying to do some weekly exercises with a psychotherapist. Just to help get myself out of this bad trend. It's important to point out that I do not have a diagnosed mental illness or any history. It might be a different ballpark for people with those issues.
Unfortunately I do have some certain.... cluster c traits.... Fortunately I have not been diagnosed with a personality disorder. But that's still pretty morbid...
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HappyYogi said:
Yes, I have advice. Quit focusing on the word "damaged goods". You are not perfect, like all of us, but I am betting you have a lot of good qualities. You are the sum of your parts, a work in progress...like all of us.
We don't have to be perfect to find love, just lovable enough. Often it's our "damageness" that makes us perfect for another!
Focus on the qualities that are working. Are you kind? Good listener? Willing to change? etc. What you focus on grows, the other stuff will diminish or change in time.
Keep saying that although not perfect, you can still find love! And this is absolutely the truth...look at all the damaged people out there who have found love, right?
Right. I'll need to think about this for awhile. Thank you.
