I really like a girl at college, posssibly love her. Anyway, I've been fixated past coupla years with getting a babe, slim, super attractive. Don't ask why. Anyway, this girl I go to college with, I really like her and we get on like a house on fire, but when we met she had a coupla blokes in her life that she said were just friends. She is attractive looking, just has a bit of weight on her. Anyway, she ended up getting with one of those blokes now coz I didn't make a move, and she moved in with him a couple of weeks ago. I didn't make a move coz dunno, I been feeling depressed and letting her baggage get in the way. I had plenty of opportunities to get with her, but was unsure. Let's just say I slow on the uptake and never really know what I want when it comes to women. Anyway, what I want to ask all the women here is, when I go to college tomorrow, should I tell her how I feel even though she's moved in with this bloke? I really like her? I've had mixed opinions on it. My dad says yes, tell her, but don't go overboard. 2 other mates say yes, and 1 said no, 1 said maybe.
Should I tell her or shouldn't I
- Thread starter SimonT
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murmi97
Well-known member
Maybe a love letter? It has the distance to say that you're happy for her(especially if you state that in it) and yet the proximity to release yourself of the burden of your feelings and let her know she as another option with out her guy kicking your ass for it.
Disclaimer: Unsought, androphobic virgin giving you this suggestion
Disclaimer: Unsought, androphobic virgin giving you this suggestion
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
No. You admit you don't even know what you want in a woman. You're also "fixated on getting a babe" but don't seem to consider her one (she has extra weight you say). WHY would you bother telling her you like her when you don't even seem sure she's what you want and why risk complicating her current situation with her bf? Seems a bit selfish IMO.
painter's radio
Well-known member
A big weighty NO from me too.
If you genuinely love her and want to marry the **** out of her and do the whole Edward Bloom in Big Fish thing, then yeah, sometimes it's never too late. But it sounds like it is in your case. Don't be an idiot about it.
If you genuinely love her and want to marry the **** out of her and do the whole Edward Bloom in Big Fish thing, then yeah, sometimes it's never too late. But it sounds like it is in your case. Don't be an idiot about it.
No I didn't say she wasn't a babe. I just said she wasn't a model, but she's definitely attractive, just has a bit of weight on her, but to be honest, I don't know what I was bothered about cause she's got an awesome personality and spirit, and I now realise, that's what counts. The weight doesn't even bother me now I know her. I feel a bit of an idiot for even allowing that to be an issue in the first place, and if I do or don't say anything, it has learnt me a lot.
No I didn't say she wasn't a babe. I just said she wasn't a model, but she's definitely attractive, just has a bit of weight on her, but to be honest, I don't know what I was bothered about cause she's got an awesome personality and spirit, and I now realise, that's what counts. The weight doesn't even bother me now I know her. I feel a bit of an idiot for even allowing that to be an issue in the first place, and if I do or don't say anything, it has learnt me a lot.
No, I said she's not exactly slim, not unattractive or anything, but don't care no more really.
No I didn't say she wasn't a babe. I just said she wasn't a model, but she's definitely attractive, just has a bit of weight on her, but to be honest, I don't know what I was bothered about cause she's got an awesome personality and spirit, and I now realise, that's what counts. The weight doesn't even bother me now I know her. I feel a bit of an idiot for even allowing that to be an issue in the first place, and if I do or don't say anything, it has learnt me a lot.
No, I said she's not exactly slim, not unattractive or anything, but don't care no more really.
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
SimonT said:
Actually you said she "has a bit of weight on her."
However, it's awesome that you realize that's not really what's important.
However, I still have to say "no" because she's already with someone.
Shipster0958
Well-known member
My vote is no. If you were slow on the uptake due to her weight, you might not be as into her as you think. And now she's with someone else, you might just be having a spell of "now I can't have her anymore."
Gotta agree with the masses here, no. She's with someone else now and by telling her this now it could really mess things up between the two of you.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Sci-Fi said:
Indeed. No from me too.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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She already has a boyfriend. Nothing good could come out of telling her.
*Sammy*
Well-known member
Sheep here (baaa)
No from me too mate,
They say we make mistakes in life to learn from them, i hope you truly do learn from this one and in future if you meet a nice girl you like, you get the courage to ask her out. But for the record a girl being a 'babe' is not the only reason you should want to go out with her, personality and spirit are far more important (as it sounds like you found out a little too late sorry)
If you really care about her you'll let her be happy and not mess with her head. Maybe in time things don't work out with the guy and you get another chance, maybe not. There will be someone else in time.
Good luck in future!
No from me too mate,
They say we make mistakes in life to learn from them, i hope you truly do learn from this one and in future if you meet a nice girl you like, you get the courage to ask her out. But for the record a girl being a 'babe' is not the only reason you should want to go out with her, personality and spirit are far more important (as it sounds like you found out a little too late sorry)
If you really care about her you'll let her be happy and not mess with her head. Maybe in time things don't work out with the guy and you get another chance, maybe not. There will be someone else in time.
Good luck in future!
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
EveWasFramed said:
This a million times over. Not only does she have someone now, but it seems to me that she's not even what you think you want. I mean, you never know what you do love and want until you have it... But if the weight is such an issue (for the simple fact of you bringing it up), why even bother with her?
B
Bones
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+1,000,000,001
VanillaCreme said:
Case
Well-known member
I share the consensus.
Be a good sport about this and keep quiet. Admit to yourself that you were beaten to the punch, promise to yourself that you will act on your feelings with the next prospect, and comfort yourself with the knowledge that there are millions of other women out there who are not attached to anyone.
This woman? She's off-limits to you.
Be a good sport about this and keep quiet. Admit to yourself that you were beaten to the punch, promise to yourself that you will act on your feelings with the next prospect, and comfort yourself with the knowledge that there are millions of other women out there who are not attached to anyone.
This woman? She's off-limits to you.
Ignis
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I feel like I'm in a similar situation with you, so I can empathize.
In MY opinion? I'm gonna go against everyone and say tell her.
But...
ONLY IF YOU REALLY LIKE HER.
If you REALLY don't know what you want, and you DON'T know if you want this girl ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.
I agree with everyone else.
If your heart is set on her though, you need to tell her. Things won't get any better for you until you do it, it'll be a load off your chest, she'll have a bit of an idea and will know how to act accordingly.
No, you probably won't get the whole "Oh, I've liked you too for all this time! Screw my boyfriend. We're through! Now we can finally be together!"
Then run off into the sunset...
Actually, it'll probably end up with you being rejected, which will hurt like hell.. But it WILL give you one thing. And this is the thing that I, myself need so very badly right now.
Closure.
I need her to tell me HERSELF that it will never happen. I need her to tell me that while I'm a nice guy, she can't be with me because she's dating someone else, or she was NEVER interested in me to begin with.
Otherwise, I'm just gonna keep imagining and pretending things are different, when they're really not.
So, if you're REALLY REALLY keen on her, yes. If only for closure for yourself, and to make things right.
Otherwise, no. Keep it to yourself, and move on.
In MY opinion? I'm gonna go against everyone and say tell her.
But...
ONLY IF YOU REALLY LIKE HER.
If you REALLY don't know what you want, and you DON'T know if you want this girl ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.
I agree with everyone else.
If your heart is set on her though, you need to tell her. Things won't get any better for you until you do it, it'll be a load off your chest, she'll have a bit of an idea and will know how to act accordingly.
No, you probably won't get the whole "Oh, I've liked you too for all this time! Screw my boyfriend. We're through! Now we can finally be together!"
Then run off into the sunset...
Actually, it'll probably end up with you being rejected, which will hurt like hell.. But it WILL give you one thing. And this is the thing that I, myself need so very badly right now.
Closure.
I need her to tell me HERSELF that it will never happen. I need her to tell me that while I'm a nice guy, she can't be with me because she's dating someone else, or she was NEVER interested in me to begin with.
Otherwise, I'm just gonna keep imagining and pretending things are different, when they're really not.
So, if you're REALLY REALLY keen on her, yes. If only for closure for yourself, and to make things right.
Otherwise, no. Keep it to yourself, and move on.
