Should I try to contact an old friend?

[sth]

sth: Why do you say that? Have you had a bad experience with trying to contact an old friend?

I think people from the past should be left in the past.

I personally would not like if anyone from the past would contact me after years of not hearing from that person.

But that's just me. Many people probably feel otherwise and would be happy to hear from an old school-mate and friend.

 

[bookworm1979]

I guess you're right, sth!

It's been a week (mailed the note on Oct. 15), and I haven't heard anything yet...

Guess I have to give it more time (yeah, right)...

 

[sth]

Don't be too sad. You know we people are strange creatures. But it surely has nothing to do with you.
Sometimes we just aren't satisfied with our lives and what we have done in our lives and so talking from someone from the past can be hard.

But wait, maybe you will hear from her anyway. Or maybe you can try again sometime later.

 

[bookworm1979]

An update: It's been almost 3 weeks since I tried to contact my old friend, and, still, NOTHING. I guess I made a mistake assuming that she would be like me, i.e., no life, LOL.

My only other option for having a friend would be the guy I was talking to on Plenty of Fish almost a year ago. He lives 90 miles away, I wasn't even enjoying talking to him, and his real goal, of course, is to have a relationship then marriage and kids. I tried just being friends with him (I never actually met him, though) until he went for over a week without one word to me and then finally wrote saying that he hadn't contacted me because he was going to bed early every night (when he thought he was going to be dating me, though, he would send me a message just to say "hi" at 4 in the morning!). I then "ghosted" him. My mom wishes that I would date and then marry him because she worries about my future if I'm left completely alone, but I can't bring myself to get married just for the sake of security. I'm crazy, though, because I could use the security since I'm at poverty level now...

 

[miadora]

People would mostly like to hear from an old friend, unless something bad had happened from the past. Or at least they would be polite and act like they really like to hear from you (even though just to disappear again).

For those who don't even try to be polite, and you're sure your friendship didn't end with a fight, then ignore and never be bothered with them again. They don't even have a common thing that is called "good manner".

For those who be polite and then disappear, just let them go. Life changes. They aren't like how they used to be. You aren't like how you used to be. They might like you in the past, doesn't mean they'll like you now.

And one thing is that if you don't want to look crazy in their eyes, then don't act crazy. I don't mind someone from the past randomly contact me, but I do mind if they act like those years of gap aren't there, like we're still best friends. I used to change clothes with my best friend, talk to her about boys when we were completely naked. That doesn't mean I will do that now.

I had a best friend in elementary school, we then went to the same junior high-school but in different classes and life kept us apart. We were still friends somehow, hanging sometimes, talking when we pumped into each other at school. It was when we reach senior high school that we were totally separated. neither of us "officially ended" friendship, it just naturally happened.

It was around 15 years ago, and recently we accidentally came across each other. I was happy at first, to meet my old best friend. But then she started to act like we are still best friends ( which we aren't now): hugging, leaning against me...(we're Asian and these are things we only do with people close to us, like families or, well, best friends), texting me about random things...

I stop contacting her, and she dropped by my aunt's store, asking for my numbers since she change the phone and lost it. My aunt didn't know so she promised I would contact her back. I did, just because of that promise, but then she was just as overly attached as before.

So I cut off with her. I did felt a little bit guilty though, I thought maybe she was lonely and just wanted a friend, and just didn't know how to do it. And then she tried the "losing phone numbers " trick with my aunt again and swept my guilt away.

 

[bookworm1979]

Another update, in case anyone cares (doubtful): It has now been 4 months, and, you've guessed it, NO RESPONSE!

So much for that idea...

 

[bluefox]

That doesn't sound like a bad idea really. I wonder about that too sometimes, how my old friends that I've lost contact with are doing and what they've been up to.