**** Sobriety

[Butterfly 2]

Don't sell yourself short. Because one girl broke up with you, it doesn't mean you will be alone forever or that you are unlovable.

 

[Butterfly 2]

It made me feel wonderful. It was like it fulfilled all the things that were missing in my life. It allowed me to breath easier. All my various pains went away. I became social and others enjoyed being around me. It gave me more pleasure then anything ever has. I enjoyed the act of drinking. I enjoyed feeling on top of the world. It was great. I always heard after you quit your body will recover and you can find joy in something else / health. But, not for me. I know if I ever start drinking again I will not stop. More then likely I'll end up getting a girlfriend too because I'll want to go out and go to the bars and socialize.

Booze is not my friend. It makes me crazy and makes me be a loud mouth and it can even make me nasty toward others and I don't like myself like that. It also makes me violently ill. I was never a regular drinker, but was a binge drinker and an alcoholic all the same. If I can stay sober until December 1st, it will be 37 years of sobriety for me.

 

[Rohini]

Booze is not my friend. It makes me crazy and makes me be a loud mouth and it can even make me nasty toward others and I don't like myself like that. It also makes me violently ill. I was never a regular drinker, but was a binge drinker and an alcoholic all the same. If I can stay sober until December 1st, it will be 37 years of sobriety for me.

God Bless you Butterfly. That is amazing..

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Booze is not my friend. It makes me crazy and makes me be a loud mouth and it can even make me nasty toward others and I don't like myself like that. It also makes me violently ill. I was never a regular drinker, but was a binge drinker and an alcoholic all the same. If I can stay sober until December 1st, it will be 37 years of sobriety for me.

Congratulations! That's impressive and inspiring.
Longest I've gone is 9 - 11 months.

 

[9006]

There is no healthy way to deal with this ****. If I didnt smoke id just cry and rage all the time. This mentality cant be shifted because all the evidence is telling me no one wants to be my friend/partner. But weed does.

Personally, I deal with a lot by going on hiking trips or wild camps in rural places and even out in the middle of nowhere. It's almost like a holiday away from the busy centralised town I live, also away from the media ********, and general problems of the world that you're forced to hear about.

This is kind of a healthy way to help deal with it.. other people have their own. The phrase "life is what you make it" is more evident; if you chose to sit around ranging and smoking weed then it's like going further into the cycle you're stuck in. Focusing on some part of life that you can enjoy and using that to your own advantage to help you deal with things is far better. And if the first thought is "there isn't anything" then it's just ignorance and stubbornness.

 

[LeeG]

@SpectraApocalypse I am old and I'm a lifelong weed smoker, and I have an IT career and I've always been a fairly successful guy. I work at home so I smoke while I'm working, and I've always called it the secret to my success. Other drugs and alcohol aren't like weed. They will literally destroy your life if you use them in excess. And I speak 100% from experience, been there done it, and that gets old and someday you decide to quit.

You're such a young guy and a lot of that stuff you have to learn on your own. Your not going to buy weed instead of paying your rent for instance, or pawn your TV set to get weed. But you will for something you depend on like cocaine or other hard drugs. I think a lot of that you learn, you so sober successful people, versus drunk people who struggle everyday and you want to the form not the latter.

Now as far as you being unattractive and nobody wants you, I just don't believe it. Maybe your not the hottest guy in the world but it doesn't matter, you can find someone. you can make changes to your appearance that are easy. Try to look clean and well dressed, do something with your hair etc, i've said all this to you before. Now when you are bored you are boring, so always keep that in mind. You must be interested in something besides weed, and I know people who are interested in weed and talk about that all the time and it's interesting to me anyway. A lot of women are superficial but not as bad as men, women can fall for someone because they are interesting or engaging, I've seen it happen many times. To me men are more interested in the sexual aspect of relationships where women are more into the romantic aspects of it. They like a guy to listen to them, where we more do it hoping it will lead to ***.

I know how hard it is not to be down on yourself, trust me I feel you 100%. But to get past this you're going to find the way to have some confidence, because girls like a confident guy.

 

[StarDust]

I've never had a drop of alcohol in 49 years.
I can't understand why anyone would want to drink.

Hi Blackdot ☺ a therapist once told me it is a form of self medicating. May not be a good one, but one that we chose.

 

[StarDust]

Personally, I deal with a lot by going on hiking trips or wild camps in rural places and even out in the middle of nowhere. It's almost like a holiday away from the busy centralised town I live, also away from the media ********, and general problems of the world that you're forced to hear about.

So true when in a rut, a walk in nature always give me that shift in perspective that I need. Great recommendation

 

[user 189410]

I have been sober for almost 5 years, and I like it. Alcohol never made me happy. I quit it at 27 after one bad drinking experience.

 

[Butterfly 2]

Congratulations, solo!

 

[Diogenes]

Being older sounds ******* terrible. I bet Ill still be alone and ignored by every woman AND THEN if Im sober and life will be ************* horrible

Maybe the point of mentioning age is this. If a person survives to an older age, it's likely that they've often been in what seemed at the time hopeless situations, but conditions eventually changed. When new problems arise, it becomes easier to believe the new problems also won't last, and that you will survive. This is just a theory, of course.

I am absolutely not saying "things will get better". They almost certainly will not.
I am also not trying to convince you to give up the reliable relief you get from smoking pot.
Your body, your life.

I in no way endorse the War On Drugs. I believe there is a huge silent majority of persons who function seamlessly with society while being addicted to something. For example, drug use is very common (blood tests prove it) among the staff in the US air force tasked with sitting in missile bunkers with fingers on the trigger ready to launch nuclear war. It's a boring job, and they do drugs.

However, the "Just Say No" era put out some great propaganda.


I do observe that despite your claim that smoking gives you comfort, you sound resentful, unhappy. Your comment "alone and ignored by every woman" is significant.

Life absolutely is full of tragedy and hardship. The system is indeed completely rigged, and your chances of anything are very close to zero. Nothing in life is "fair". This is a good thing. Why? You have literally nothing to lose by trying.

At the least, you have some small options, some small control over yourself. You can choose to set very low goals and work on them, rather than stay stagnant on pot. Exercise, study. These things are available to anyone. A library card costs nothing and you have the world at your fingertips in the internet.

In some of the most impoverished regions of the world, persons achieve remarkable things with close to zero resources. Yoga and Tai Chi have enormous benefits, but require no gym membership, no equipment. They require only a little room to work, and some time/effort. You always have the option, the possibility of beating "personal best". No one and nothing can take that away from you.

As I said, the system is rigged. Social rules have tried to circumvent nature.
Biologically, a single individual man can impregnate hundreds of women.
Nature intended for men to compete, to literally kill each other off until only one breeding male is left.
Similarly, nature trains women to reject, to ignore, any but the best. If her genes, her children, are to prosper, she must breed only with the best.
Society turned the surplus supply of breeding males into worker drones. Drones who should have died, but instead live in hopeless misery.

Again, your comment "alone and ignored by every woman" is significant.

Since few women or men can obtain the mate they genuinely desire, people compromise, and nothing could more certainly assure a lifetime of frustration and resentment than settling for what you can get, in any venue. It's highly likely you're far better off alone than being involved with a woman who has lowered her standards.

What do you want from a woman? You think she will supply the nurturing approval of a mother, take away your feeling of being alone?
You think she will satisfy your breeding impulse, your craving for ***?

What do you have to offer in return? How well do you understand her needs?
Most people have no understanding of themselves or their needs.

It is perfectly reasonable, logical, to be pessimistic and bitter.
It is not entirely your fault that you are not the Alpha Male.
Yet you will be judged and filtered out despite these facts.

All you can do is let go of the desire for a woman, and pour all your energy
into self improvement, however gradual and slow. Determination all by itself
can be an attractive trait. You are still a variety of "winner" if you can consistently beat "personal best" at least, and women will notice that trait.

Sometimes, hardship and crisis force a person to improve rapidly. When was the last time you really suffered, really sacrificed?

Sometimes, finding someone worse off than yourself, and helping them, improves your self esteem.

Bootstrap techniques, such as neuro linguistic programming, work for some people. You have nothing to lose by trying. Books by Robbins and Dr. Lieberman may prove useful to you.

I strongly advise against getting into any type of romantic relationship with a woman, but if you must, at least be aware that they want to get more than they give. They want to hitch onto a moving train headed somewhere good.

Explicit goals are essential, and they must be achievable. You certainly won't ever finish a marathon race or become an olympic athlete. But you CAN run one block further every month, you CAN gradually make tiny progress.

Be careful what you wish for. In sales training, a man was told to go home, cut pictures of things he wanted out of magazines, glue them to poster board, and tape this to the ceiling above his bed, to stare at every night, to program himself with goals.

One day he was driving home in the beautiful truck he imagined, to the luxury home he pictured, where the beautiful wife he cut out of a magazine was waiting for him. She greeted him in the driveway, and asked, "Honey, why do you have a rider lawnmower tractor in the bed of the truck? We have a lawn service." He couldn't explain. He saw it at a dealership, and was compelled somehow to pull in and buy it.

That night he studied his goal poster. There, parked on the lawn of the exact mansion home he'd cut out, was the image of this exact model of tractor.

Sometimes, reality is nothing like the dream.

 

[Hek]

If I can stay sober until December 1st, it will be 37 years of sobriety for me.

 

[user 139760]

I think it's all about balance. Some people know they have a problem with it and stay sober, that's good. I'll usually have one solid evening of drink with friends and family on either X-mas or New Years, people who are happy and partyers luke I am when drunk. I get clownish and end up wanting to sleep afterwards lol. One a year or so is all I need. Whenever I do drink outside of that, it's usually one beer, maybe two, once in a blue moon, like every 2-3-4 months, just to relax.
Like I said, I think it's all about balance.

 

[Unsigned]

I cant understand how people can be sober every day of their lives for their whole life. I really cant understand how they can be happy on top of that. I cant go a few days without a smoke without getting irritated at just about everything. Now I know people are gonna say "it sounds like you have a problem, you should stop" but in short, **** that, I dont plan on it. Weed is the only thing that makes me happy. It helps me forget that Im lonely and the best part is weed cant ever reject or ditch me. Its gonna make me happy whether it likes it or not.

I hate drinking.
But have been a heavy drinker for a very long time.
I am able to stop for few weeks. I went 5 months in 2021.
But I always come back.
It's a way to cope and forget about things I guess.
The worst part about drinking, for me, is the hangovers. I don't exercise when I'm hungover and get irritable.
The second worst part is saying stupid things I later regret.
Blacking out sucks too. Something was becoming more and more frequent.
I try to only drink on the weekends now. It's been doable so far. We'll see how long it lasts.
I'd like to stop altogether, but when I get depressed about life, I always go back.
Being single and lonely is the primary reason.
Last year I broke my "on the wagon" stint when I had to send my tax payments. I really got bombed that day.

 

[SquareBin]

Booze is not my friend. It makes me crazy and makes me be a loud mouth and it can even make me nasty toward others and I don't like myself like that. It also makes me violently ill. I was never a regular drinker, but was a binge drinker and an alcoholic all the same. If I can stay sober until December 1st, it will be 37 years of sobriety for me.

gg on the soon to be accomplishment !

we shall celebrate with some kidibulle ))