**** Sobriety

[Claudia1794]

Ok but weed doesn’t have anything to do with the way you look or your interests. What are your interests? Do you have a job? Are you in college? What do you do when you are high? You mentioned in another post you didn’t want advice you just want to vent. So what else do you have to vent about?

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

Do you think there might be a way that you could be less boring and unattractive?

Not that I am saying you are those things. I'm just trying to approach it from a fixing angle.

Also I'm dealing with exactly those same two issues so I'm trying to figure it out too.

To me the "attractive" part seems easier to fix, you just have to clean up nice, and get yourself in at least OK shape, like you don't even have to be a bodybuilder or anything, you just have to be "good enough". With guys I don't think looks are the major factor, again as long as you get to "good enough". I think it's more about achievements and personality. But I think those are hard, I struggle with those too.

Why do you think you are boring though?
And how do you think you could be less boring?

Im boring because I can never make conversation with anyone. ESPECIALLY not a woman my age. I dont know how I could make conversation better and be less boring and I have zero achievments whatsoever except being able to outsmoke peers.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

Ok but weed doesn’t have anything to do with the way you look or your interests. What are your interests? Do you have a job? Are you in college? What do you do when you are high? You mentioned in another post you didn’t want advice you just want to vent. So what else do you have to vent about?

My interests are gangster rap/metal music, I have a job, Im not in college anymore and when Im high I like to either chill and watch something/listen to music or walk around the neighborhood. As far as venting goes, I really just want to vent about being ignored by uninterested women and about how the only relationship I had went up in flames and now my ex wont even speak to me because shes too busy making some dude "G" (who is totally not a g btw) happy.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Im boring because I can never make conversation with anyone. ESPECIALLY not a woman my age. I dont know how I could make conversation better and be less boring and I have zero achievments whatsoever except being able to outsmoke peers.

I have a hard time with those as well.

And I don't have any achievements either. I graduated college, that's really all I have. I don't go for anything out of the fear that I lack genetic talent, which I realize has been my main issue underneath everything else, my entire life. But I could go on and on about that, and I don't want to make your thread about me.

I think you're on the right track with getting more achievements, it makes a person more interesting and gives them more to talk about.

Is there anything you would like to achieve?

 

[Claudia1794]

My interests are gangster rap/metal music, I have a job, Im not in college anymore and when Im high I like to either chill and watch something/listen to music or walk around the neighborhood. As far as venting goes, I really just want to vent about being ignored by uninterested women and about how the only relationship I had went up in flames and now my ex wont even speak to me because shes too busy making some dude "G" (who is totally not a g btw) happy.

Sometimes it helps to get it out about failed relationships but it’s in your best interest to just let it go once you’ve said what you need to say. So how long have you two been broken up? Do you still call and text her? Do you run into her while out? What happened to end it?

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

Sometimes it helps to get it out about failed relationships but it’s in your best interest to just let it go once you’ve said what you need to say. So how long have you two been broken up? Do you still call and text her? Do you run into her while out? What happened to end it?

I dont talk to her at all, in fact Im blocked on social media and she changed her number. Weve been broken up for like 6 months or something. What happened was I vented to a friend about some things that I didnt like about her and she found out and broke up with me. So I pretty much deserved it.

 

[Rohini]

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Can I ask… if you found love, and she wanted you to stop and she was gonna be super supportive, do you think you could?

 

[TheRealCallie]

All I see are excuses and bitterness. Sorry, but if all you have to throw out is unhealthy coping mechanics that don't actually work in the long run, then that's on you. It's your life, I suppose, but you'll never get anywhere if you are so determined to be negative and lie to yourself.

But, as I said, it's your life. I hope you figure it out sooner rather than later.

 

[9006]

I cant understand how people can be sober every day of their lives for their whole life. I really cant understand how they can be happy on top of that. I cant go a few days without a smoke without getting irritated at just about everything. Now I know people are gonna say "it sounds like you have a problem, you should stop" but in short, **** that, I dont plan on it. Weed is the only thing that makes me happy. It helps me forget that Im lonely and the best part is weed cant ever reject or ditch me. Its gonna make me happy whether it likes it or not.

I kind of know what you mean, everyday life (particularly at the moment) can be difficult to deal with. I think a lot of things are a factor, like the constant stream of negative information from practically every form of media, loneliness, money issues, society in general, etc..

Your mentality is key and what you focus on, and it can be particularly difficult in circumstances like when you live on your own. Everyone has the right to make their own choices, but avoidance coping by smoking weed (or anything else) isn't really a great idea since you'll rely on it more to "get you through" those times, it kind of creates more of a divide, and in some circumstances become a problem because you may find that it'll be more and more difficult to be "sober".

Unfortunately for you this sobriety is the level you're born into and at which everything and everyone else lives on.. so it's better to find some kind of healthy way to help you deal with things. There's not a lot of easy fixes to just suddenly find yourself with someone and to be happy. I think it's best firstly to work on yourself before you meet people, because often how you feel about yourself is reflected in your personality and how you act. If you're sad and bitter people are going to pick up on that.

I completely understand that it's not easy to shift the mentality you have now, but for as long as you have it it's going to be the thing that holds you back.

 

[blackdot]

I've never had a drop of alcohol in 49 years.
I can't understand why anyone would want to drink.

 

[constant stranger]

The bottle can be a pleasant companion and so can weed. I know because I've been dependent on both. And I discovered that the side effects put the brakes on one's life journey......when weed and drinking become necessary to get through life, then one has exchanged living for avoiding the responsibilities of life. One can use the substances to escape the stresses in one's life but one also then escapes the rewards of resolving the stresses. It's a bad trade.
That's why I quit them both years ago.
But my journey and difficulties are still far from over......although weed and vodka are no longer part of the problem pattern.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

All I see are excuses and bitterness. Sorry, but if all you have to throw out is unhealthy coping mechanics that don't actually work in the long run, then that's on you. It's your life, I suppose, but you'll never get anywhere if you are so determined to be negative and lie to yourself.

But, as I said, it's your life. I hope you figure it out sooner rather than later.

Excuses and bitterness run in my blood. I dont know what other coping mechanics actually help. Its better than being mad and depressed all the time. Btw I may be negative but Im not lying to myself this is my real situation. If figuring it out is stopping weed and being depressed and lonely then **** figuring it out.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

I kind of know what you mean, everyday life (particularly at the moment) can be difficult to deal with. I think a lot of things are a factor, like the constant stream of negative information from practically every form of media, loneliness, money issues, society in general, etc..

Your mentality is key and what you focus on, and it can be particularly difficult in circumstances like when you live on your own. Everyone has the right to make their own choices, but avoidance coping by smoking weed (or anything else) isn't really a great idea since you'll rely on it more to "get you through" those times, it kind of creates more of a divide, and in some circumstances become a problem because you may find that it'll be more and more difficult to be "sober".

Unfortunately for you this sobriety is the level you're born into and at which everything and everyone else lives on.. so it's better to find some kind of healthy way to help you deal with things. There's not a lot of easy fixes to just suddenly find yourself with someone and to be happy. I think it's best firstly to work on yourself before you meet people, because often how you feel about yourself is reflected in your personality and how you act. If you're sad and bitter people are going to pick up on that.

I completely understand that it's not easy to shift the mentality you have now, but for as long as you have it it's going to be the thing that holds you back.

There is no healthy way to deal with this ****. If I didnt smoke id just cry and rage all the time. This mentality cant be shifted because all the evidence is telling me no one wants to be my friend/partner. But weed does.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

I've never had a drop of alcohol in 49 years.
I can't understand why anyone would want to drink.

I cant either. I dont like drinking. Smoking is my thing.

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

Knowing Im gonna be alone forever really does not help my situation.

 

[Claudia1794]

Excuses and bitterness run in my blood. I dont know what other coping mechanics actually help. Its better than being mad and depressed all the time. Btw I may be negative but Im not lying to myself this is my real situation. If figuring it out is stopping weed and being depressed and lonely then **** figuring it out.

People are just sharing their experiences. You don't have to give anything up, just don't use it as means to escape or as a solution. That applies to all things that make us feel good. You may not be lying to yourself but are you telling yourself the whole truth?

 

[SpectraApocalypse]

People are just sharing their experiences. You don't have to give anything up, just don't use it as means to escape or as a solution. That applies to all things that make us feel good. You may not be lying to yourself but are you telling yourself the whole truth?

Well no one seems to be at all interested in me so yeah. Everyone wants someone else and Im left to just watch everyone else be happy.

 

[Claudia1794]

Do you try to meet different people?

 

[Finished]

I've never had a drop of alcohol in 49 years.
I can't understand why anyone would want to drink.

It made me feel wonderful. It was like it fulfilled all the things that were missing in my life. It allowed me to breath easier. All my various pains went away. I became social and others enjoyed being around me. It gave me more pleasure then anything ever has. I enjoyed the act of drinking. I enjoyed feeling on top of the world. It was great. I always heard after you quit your body will recover and you can find joy in something else / health. But, not for me. I know if I ever start drinking again I will not stop. More then likely I'll end up getting a girlfriend too because I'll want to go out and go to the bars and socialize.