Step Closer--and listen for the silent tears of the cheerful one...

Nina · Jul 27, 2010

A perfect town, clipped lawns and clean roads
The folks pass by and always smile sweetly and wave...

Step closer...

And see the lovely house, pink flowers stream gracefully over the lips of well woven baskets, suspended ever so neatly in the shade of the large circling porch...

Step closer...
And come inside the home, all is comfortable and tidy.

Step closer...

And meet the lovely folks who dwell in this nest of comfort. He's exotic and successful, she's the picture of health and cheerful delight...

Step closer...
They smile and converse, everyone thinks they're nearly perfect and say so all the time. Some may even envy this picture of domestic bliss...

Step closer...

Watch them end their fine dinner, watch them turn out the lights, then gracefully head up a flowing stairway...

Step closer...

Observe the looks on their face's, his like an animal about to stalk prey, hers growing more distant with every step...

Step closer...

Listen to the sounds...something is happening...but what is it?

Step closer...

Hear the contented sigh of a hunter feed and satisfied...

Step close...
Can you hear the tears of cheerful one?

No one ever does....

dead · Oct 4, 2010

Nina, this is a beautiful piece.
you are building suspension with every line, every step indeed, spiralling towards the inevitable conclusion.
the metaphors are well chosen, and feel fresh and illuminating.

i hope that writing is a mainstay with you, since this beautiful piece proves that you have quite a talent.

Sean · Oct 4, 2010

oh no! DON'T GO UP THE STAIRS!

I liked it

.

Do not judge a book by it's cover!
I think there's another expression that works better but i can't remember it.

Anyways you're a great writer, i'd love to read more from you

.

SophiaGrace · Oct 4, 2010

Okay I'm creeped out now. o_o

*hides*

Nina · Oct 4, 2010

(((Dead)))(((Sean))) thanks, you guys just made my day. That piece was written while I wasn't in the best state of mind. I've always used writing as a quiet and private way to vent. One day I might just try my hand at it though. My love is to read what others write. Maybe I'm just lazy...

Peek-a-Boo Soph...I seeee you. Don't hide, the issue that inspired that piece are being resolved...