Strength of Lonliness

[Jonah]

I'm going to keep this as short as I can and try to hit the nail on the head. I was living in Thailand back in 2006 when I hit rock bottom. I became very lonley after a realtionship. Now I'm wise enough to understand how it all worked out and the reason for me been that way. The girl whom I was with got increasingly angry because she wanted to change me, there wasn't really anything that needed changing, i'm a nice person and have some great qualities, none I got from her. I didn't blame her and spoke a year later and mentioned it would still be important to be friends. I've changed my mind at been so close and we chat very little if ever from now.

My lonliness became phycosis and Although I was Quite depressed I knew and remember everything, infact I began to explore more about myself and sit alone with candles almost like the budhist kharma way. I walked for three days without food and tried to understand why I should feel this way. My eyes became more open to the world. I eventaully traveled around the world but I noticed and met some most interesting people. I had some problems that left me alone again but that was a test for me to move forward without blame.

I am still single and have been for five years, i live in a small town and there simply isnt any partner that can speak with me on my level. I'm not vein but everyhtime someone comes to chat, it almost as if a wall is built in front of us. I will keep exploring in the future and educate myself as much as I can for. I'm a teacher and gave everything in the past to better my students future and I truelly believe that I have been given a gift to help people. I hate to see people alone, i have helped people and want to mention to members in here if lonliness made you stronger, there is a chance we can help together. there is nothing worse that watching people cry, i've been there and it hurtss

I'm a newbie on here and want to share some things with you all that might be beneficial to the forum. Thanks.