Struggling to approach women?

[Unsigned]

it doesn't actually teach you how to be a man of value, how to be a man that any woman actually wants

Do they want that though?
A man of value?
I can dispute that from my own experiences.
Granted the females I consort with are quite "damaged" (as am I), but anyways, they seem to chase after Class A sh*tbags.
And dump on decent guys -- like I consider myself to be -- but I suppose that is up for debate...

 

[TheSkaFish]

Do they want that though?
A man of value?
I can dispute that from my own experiences.
Granted the females I consort with are quite "damaged" (as am I), but anyways, they seem to chase after Class A sh*tbags.
And dump on decent guys -- like I consider myself to be -- but I suppose that is up for debate...

That reminds me of that girl I told you about. She was at least kind of mentally unstable, and I think tended to seek the same in guys. I think it's just that like-mindedness again.

It could just be the women you're around, who are a very specific part of the larger population.

I think people tend to want people of value in general though.
As I think back over my life, not having strengths is why I wasn't "cool" even before women were an issue.
I've noticed it's the same thing over and over again in my life. I guess it's one of those "if you don't learn from history you're doomed to repeat it" type things.

 

[Unsigned]

But I've found it to be 99 times out of 100 to be a good approach to it.

Honest question.
What percentage of females do you consider to be "bangable"?
For me...it's about 10% at best.
Yeah, I know...I'm a picky scumbag.
But still. AT BEST. 10%.
How successful have you been with that demographic?

 

[Unsigned]

It could just be the women you're around, who are a very specific part of the larger population.

Truth.
The ones I have been around...my whole life...were not such great people...

 

[user 139760]

Honest question.
What percentage of females do you consider to be "bangable"?
For me...it's about 10% at best.
Yeah, I know...I'm a picky scumbag.
But still. AT BEST. 10%.
How successful have you been with that demographic?

Lol to each his own, I don't find it particularly "scumbagish". You do you and that's fine.

Honestly, I'm a bit of an anachronism in modern life. I've been single for almost 15 years. The last time I considered someone "bangable" so to speak, was once in that time span, maybe a year ago. I had other things on my plate.
As cliché as it may sound, with the maybe 5-6 serious girlfriends I've had during two decades, they varied widely, by height, weight, hair color, eye color, bust size, and personality. It's that, I don't know... undefined "click" I look for. I'll only "bang" those.
So, if we're to put a % on that...like what, 1%? 0.5? Lol.
If we only go by physical appearance and completely discard who they are as people, which I can't do, but I'd say probably around 80. Everyone has a little something that makes them attractive in a measure or another.

 

[Unsigned]

Lol to each his own, I don't find it particularly "scumbagish". You do you and that's fine.

Honestly, I'm a bit of an anachronism in modern life. I've been single for almost 15 years. The last time I considered someone "bangable" so to speak, was once in that time span, maybe a year ago. I had other things on my plate.
As cliché as it may sound, with the maybe 5-6 serious girlfriends I've had during two decades, they varied widely, by height, weight, hair color, eye color, bust size, and personality. It's that, I don't know... undefined "click" I look for. I'll only "bang" those.
So, if we're to put a % on that...like what, 1%? 0.5? Lol.
If we only go by physical appearance and completely discard who they are as people, which I can't do, but I'd say probably around 80. Everyone has a little something that makes them attractive in a measure or another.

I envy your outlook on life, sir.

 

[user 139760]

I envy your outlook on life, sir.

Well, sometimes I envy others outlooks on life lol. We're shaped by our experiences and what we decide to do with those experiences. Lots of people, I think, convince themselves that "this is who I am, I can't change it". I never particularly subscribed to that mentality. Might be naive of me, but it works. For me.
For a long time, I just saw right through people.
I'd get a nice smile and realize it 15 minutes later and feel somewhat guilty of not having the politeness to have returned it. Still happens.
I'm the guy whom a friend bumps on the arm and goes "Hey...she's really into you". "Wait, what?" Lol. Sometimes I went for it, others not, once I got to know said person.
I like simple, I keep it simple. Life's hard enough as it is without complicating everything. If it happens again, it will. If it doesn't, it doesn't. I'm fine with that.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Lool have fun men im just reading and learning honestly feel like im in the mens locker room without… the… uhh towel slapping you men love to do according to the movies.

 

[user 164061]

Lool have fun men im just reading and learning honestly feel like im in the mens locker room without… the… uhh towel slapping you men love to do according to the movies.

If someone did that to me they'd be getting strangled with it believe you me

 

[CenotaphGirl]

If someone did that to me they'd be getting strangled with it believe you me

I hear “real men” enjoy it joking incase anyone cries

 

[user 164061]

I hear “real men” enjoy it joking incase anyone cries

Come on...don't make my water works start. It's not fair

 

[WillPower]

I was reading an old thread on pickup here the other day, and some articles and reddit threads about it.

The feeling I get is, pickup is a scam because it just teaches you how to play mind games - it doesn't actually teach you how to be a man of value, how to be a man that any woman actually wants and doesn't have to be tricked into thinking they want you. There's no magic words, or clothes, or car, or anything superficial that will work - it seems you have to actually be a successful, interesting person. The only dating advice for men that seems to make any sense is "look good, smell good, be good at something, have cool stuff to talk about - then you can be confident because you know you have all that stuff going for you".

But it's hard to be interested in being a man of value when you don't think you can get good at anything. I guess that's the real question.

It's hard to be an interesting person when we have to spend so much of our lives on boring survival, which doesn't make you feel too cool either, so you don't feel like you're that great, and that just carries "boring" energy forward instead of the kind of energy you'd get if you were satisfied with your life because you're good at something you like.

Like what do you even talk about? "Hey, I do something I don't care about all day because I just need money. I don't even like anything anymore. I'm bad at everything, I don't have interests, and I feel dead inside. How are you?" Meanwhile some other guy is actually good at something cool. Who do you think a woman would rather talk to?

Some days I feel like I'd give my left nut for enough genetic talent to be good at something, especially something I like. This is a lot of what fills my hours. I wish I had a better answer.

I agree. Pickup artists are really just throwing things at a wall and seeing what sticks. There's no real science behind it. If anyone wants to learn how to be a man of value for women, I recommend the book, "Mate: Become the Man Women Want" by Tucker Max. Tucker Max partners with a PHD Dr. Geoffrey Miller and dives into the comprehensive elements of female-male attraction based on the largest compilation of empirical evidence and scientific research. I have found this has really helped me understand how to improve my life in areas that will actually attract women.

 

[okidoke]

……..areas that will actually attract women.

Attracting women is easy, you just need money or power or looks. Keeping a woman is the hard part.

 

[WillPower]

Attracting women is easy, you just need money or power or looks. Keeping a woman is the hard part.

You would actually be surprised at the number of men who have a great career, money, look decent, and still can't attract women. This book goes way beyond talking about money and looks. Those are the two things everyone thinks about, but there's much more to it than that. It also talks about things like signaling. You can have the traits necessary to attract women, but if you don't put it on display, there's no way she would know that. For example, a man could have money and be fit, but if he dresses in dirty clothes with stains on it that's baggy and hides his physique, how would a woman know this? A lot of guys don't know or don't care about fashion. They were never taught the importance of it in their youth.

 

[BDLonely]

I know men with alll three and still can't attract women let alone keep them.
And I happen to always dress well

It seems to me that as long as the woman has the advantage, the man will struggle. The man has to be put in the position of advantage in order to change this. Perhaps being in a place where men are more in demand may help.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I agree. Pickup artists are really just throwing things at a wall and seeing what sticks. There's no real science behind it. If anyone wants to learn how to be a man of value for women, I recommend the book, "Mate: Become the Man Women Want" by Tucker Max. Tucker Max partners with a PHD Dr. Geoffrey Miller and dives into the comprehensive elements of female-male attraction based on the largest compilation of empirical evidence and scientific research. I have found this has really helped me understand how to improve my life in areas that will actually attract women.

The book will probably help but i’d feel so bad if a man changed everything about himself to be with me for example there just has to be a better way….

 

[okidoke]

You would actually be surprised at the number of men who have a great career, money, look decent, and still can't attract women. This book goes way beyond talking about money and looks. Those are the two things everyone thinks about, but there's much more to it than that. It also talks about things like signaling. You can have the traits necessary to attract women, but if you don't put it on display, there's no way she would know that. For example, a man could have money and be fit, but if he dresses in dirty clothes with stains on it that's baggy and hides his physique, how would a woman know this? A lot of guys don't know or don't care about fashion. They were never taught the importance of it in their youth.

Doesn’t that come under looks? I think so.

 

[okidoke]

I know men with alll three and still can't attract women let alone keep them.
And I happen to always dress well

It seems to me that as long as the woman has the advantage, the man will struggle. The man has to be put in the position of advantage in order to change this. Perhaps being in a place where men are more in demand may help.

All three and nothing? Something is going on there. They’re failing in one if those. I'm talking initial attraction as well, the thing that brings them to you. After they walk up, things can change in an instant when the guy open his mouth.

 

[ardour]

All three and nothing? Something is going on there. They’re failing in one if those. I'm talking initial attraction as well, the thing that brings them to you. After they walk up, things can change in an instant when the guy open his mouth.

that is true. Low self esteem and low confidence kills it. Nothing can solve decades of loneliness or being socially and emotionally stunted. Once you're 'read' as weird or off in any way it's over.

 

[WillPower]

The book will probably help but i’d feel so bad if a man changed everything about himself to be with me for example there just has to be a better way….

I try not to think about it as changing myself. But as becoming a better version of myself. From speech, to fashion, to hygiene, etc., I realized I had to do something to try and improve my results.

Doesn’t that come under looks? I think so.

While it may fall under looks, it's not something you're born with. And it's something most guys don't even think about. Real question. How many guys on here have actually tried to improve their fashion? Or do they think that just having clean clothes on is good enough? I have spent countless hours on youtube learning about fashion and what works and what doesn't. When improving looks, most guys just think about lifting weights or working out. It's a combination of everything.

All three and nothing? Something is going on there. They’re failing in one if those. I'm talking initial attraction as well, the thing that brings them to you. After they walk up, things can change in an instant when the guy open his mouth.

For many guys (like myself), they are invisible to women. I have never had a woman just walk up to me because she is attracted to me. If you have had women approach you, then you are doing better than the majority of men on this forum.