Thanks Anxiety.

[ShybutHi]

Thanks Anxiety.

Anxiety destroyed my life. It destroyed my will to finish education, it prevented me from getting a job, it meant people I didn't already know or who were close to mutual friends but not me wouldn't give me the time of day because I had a hard time talking and making new friends. It destroyed my social life as friends moved on and dropped off, it completely destroyed any hope of a love life finding a partner in my teens and 20's and being happy in that regard, it destroyed my self confidence, self esteem, made me have a super hard time socializing, travelling, doing anything any "normal" person would, and it gave me major major depression which contributed to much of the above too.


...Luckily things are looking up now... I don't get butterfly's just going to the local shop and thinking about the situation for hours beforehand with some lingering anxiety about it. I have nearly got some good education under my belt, not depressed, and can talk to people like a human being again.

It has left a massive scar on my life though, shaped and changed who I am, perhaps for the better in some ways being more appreciative of everything in life including the small things and of other people, I am a positive person now. I had to climb back down the ladder and place my feet firmly on the ground to climb back up and go further. 

I do really hope though that things turn out ok a little down the line. That I am not totally broken to the point that I am going to be alone... forever...

 

[TheRealCallie]

Shy, you are a good looking (yes, I know that sounds odd given the last thread), sweet guy who has A LOT to offer someone. I don't think you'll end up alone, as long as you don't let yourself slip back to where you used to be.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep your head up and keep trying. You'll get where you want to be.

 

[ShybutHi]

Shy, you are a good looking (yes, I know that sounds odd given the last thread), sweet guy who has A LOT to offer someone.  I don't think you'll end up alone, as long as you don't let yourself slip back to where you used to be.  

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep your head up and keep trying.  You'll get where you want to be.

Thank you for the very kind supportive words Callie. I don't think the first thing is true in my own opinion though but honestly I never will. Despite that though I still try to look my best now. You know I used to be 8.6 Stone at 5"11... Not good. Now I'm 10.7 Stone which is decent for my height and have really good hygiene and nice clothes, decent haircut and stuff, actually take care of myself well now.

I know I will never regress back, I was so far gone that it is practically impossible and my perspective and anxiety levels are just nothing like they used to be at all. So it's just the social and relationship things left mainly now. You are right, need to keep the head up and keep going. I am lucky in that I have very nice family. I just don't have any close friends due to them all moving on, moving house, having kids, getting married and also losing them because I became a hermit to fix myself. That was successful, but at the cost of a social life unfortunately. I still fear for the whole relationship aspect too though as I mentioned.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Shy, you are a good looking (yes, I know that sounds odd given the last thread), sweet guy who has A LOT to offer someone.  I don't think you'll end up alone, as long as you don't let yourself slip back to where you used to be.  

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep your head up and keep trying.  You'll get where you want to be.

Thank you for the very kind supportive words Callie. I don't think the first thing is true in my own opinion though but honestly I never will. Despite that though I try still to look my best. You know I used to be 8.6 Stone at 5"11... Not good. Now I'm 10.7 Stone which is decent for my height and have really good hygiene and nice clothes, decent haircut and stuff, actually take care of myself well now.

I know I will never regress back, I was so far gone that it is practically impossible and my perspective and anxiety levels are just nothing like they used to be at all. So it's just the social and relationship things left mainly now. You are right, need to keep the head up and keep going. I am lucky in that I have very nice family. I just don't have any close friends due to them all moving on, moving house, having kids, getting married and also losing them because I became a hermit to fix myself. That was successful, but at the cost of a social life unfortunately. I still fear for the whole relationship aspect too though as I mentioned.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words.

It sounds like you're saying it's time to send me a new pic.... :club:  lol

But seriously, I don't think I'm all that good looking either.  Which is why you shouldn't go by your own opinion.

 

[kamya]

Overcoming anxiety develops character, creativity, strength, unwavering confidence, and courage. You have a lot to thank it for.

 

[lovingladyo4]

What a blessing it must be for you to have measured some changes! That is an encouragement to all the readers here I'm sure. No one can really understand the reality of anxiety unless they themselves have experienced how debilitating it can be. Some people say that anxiety is just a part of life, and to a degree they are right. Everyone is faced with moments where they feel out of control. But when anxiety prevents us from living out our day-to-day demands, responsibilities, personal interests, and nurturing relationships, it's always necessary to step back and try to uncover the root cause of the anxiety. It could stem from a number of different things: personality type, upbringing, past memories, hormone imbalance, chemical imbalance in the brain, relationships, diet, personal relationships, and a host of other things.

Are you able to become more active with your own personal interests? Or maybe even join a woman's group at a church? These groups are absolutely wonderful and provide stability, support, friendship, trust, and fun to all who are involved. Having an activity outside the home that you can look forward to will build you up and help you become more confident.

Thank you for sharing from your heart.  Any time we can look back and measure progress in a particular area of our lives, it brings a feeling of accomplishment and success. Keep a journal of this. You will appreciate seeing how things have changed over the course of time. It will provide emotional fuel the next time you need some!

 

[ShybutHi]

What a blessing it must be for you to have measured some changes! That is an encouragement to all the readers here I'm sure. No one can really understand the reality of anxiety unless they themselves have experienced how debilitating it can be. Some people say that anxiety is just a part of life, and to a degree they are right. Everyone is faced with moments where they feel out of control. But when anxiety prevents us from living out our day-to-day demands, responsibilities, personal interests, and nurturing relationships, it's always necessary to step back and try to uncover the root cause of the anxiety. It could stem from a number of different things: personality type, upbringing, past memories, hormone imbalance, chemical imbalance in the brain, relationships, diet, personal relationships, and a host of other things.

Are you able to become more active with your own personal interests? Or maybe even join a woman's group at a church? These groups are absolutely wonderful and provide stability, support, friendship, trust, and fun to all who are involved. Having an activity outside the home that you can look forward to will build you up and help you become more confident.

Thank you for sharing from your heart.  Any time we can look back and measure progress in a particular area of our lives, it brings a feeling of accomplishment and success. Keep a journal of this. You will appreciate seeing how things have changed over the course of time. It will provide emotional fuel the next time you need some!

I am pretty active with my personal interests but these interests don't include going out to meetups or hobby related clubs and such. Sure I could say go to a pub and watch live music perhaps but it's just not the same on your own. I am pretty confident in myself now, but going out to the pub and such to me just seems like such an unproductive waste of time when I could be writing music or something. 

It has been about 4 years since I started the road to recovery and so everything is very different now in a positive way for practically every aspect of my life except those social and relationship aspects. Btw I'm a guy so a woman's group is out of the question and I'm also not religious.

 

[lovingladyo4]

What a blessing it must be for you to have measured some changes! That is an encouragement to all the readers here I'm sure. No one can really understand the reality of anxiety unless they themselves have experienced how debilitating it can be. Some people say that anxiety is just a part of life, and to a degree they are right. Everyone is faced with moments where they feel out of control. But when anxiety prevents us from living out our day-to-day demands, responsibilities, personal interests, and nurturing relationships, it's always necessary to step back and try to uncover the root cause of the anxiety. It could stem from a number of different things: personality type, upbringing, past memories, hormone imbalance, chemical imbalance in the brain, relationships, diet, personal relationships, and a host of other things.

Are you able to become more active with your own personal interests? Or maybe even join a woman's group at a church? These groups are absolutely wonderful and provide stability, support, friendship, trust, and fun to all who are involved. Having an activity outside the home that you can look forward to will build you up and help you become more confident.

Thank you for sharing from your heart.  Any time we can look back and measure progress in a particular area of our lives, it brings a feeling of accomplishment and success. Keep a journal of this. You will appreciate seeing how things have changed over the course of time. It will provide emotional fuel the next time you need some!

I am pretty active with my personal interests but these interests don't include going out to meetups or hobby related clubs and such. Sure I could say go to a pub and watch live music perhaps but it's just not the same on your own. I am pretty confident in myself now, but going out to the pub and such to me just seems like such an unproductive waste of time when I could be writing music or something. 

It has been about 4 years since I started the road to recovery and so everything is very different now in a positive way for practically every aspect of my life except those social and relationship aspects. Btw I'm a guy so a woman's group is out of the question and I'm also not religious.

My sincere apologies for the mix-up. I don't know why I assumed you were a woman. Please forgive me. I guess because I correspond with so many woman I had it in my brain to reply here in the same way. Thank you for clarifying that for me. 

I don't go to bars either. I don't drink and do not feel they are the right place for me to go. But I have found my moments of deepest fulfillment and gratification have come from using the gifts and talents i was born with. I know you say you are not religious, but I am a Christian and that is not a religion. it is a relationship with someone who loves you. Religion is man-made rules and those can't possibly bring a person to their reason amd meaning for living! But a relationship with God can. 

You say you write music? How awesome is that! I love music! Here is my all-time favorite song - I want to share it with you.

Blessings to you friend!

 

[ShybutHi]

I don't go to bars either. I don't drink and do not feel they are the right place for me to go. But I have found my moments of deepest fulfillment and gratification have come from using the gifts and talents i was born with. I know you say you are not religious, but I am a Christian and that is not a religion. it is a relationship with someone who loves you. Religion is man-made rules and those can't possibly bring a person to their reason amd meaning for living! But a relationship with God can. 

You say you write music? How awesome is that! I love music! Here is my all-time favorite song - I want to share it with you.

Blessings to you friend!

I only drink socially so going to a pub and drinking on my own is not really my thing. It seems it can be harder to find friends depending where you live too, in my country everyone is quite paranoid and keep strangers at arms length most of the time so it makes making friends a bit tougher. I'm atheist btw so any kind of religion or belief in some kind of deity is not my thing, but anyway love and live and let live I say. I have my own talents and gifts that give me fulfillment and gratification too, one of them is certainly music as it can evoke a powerful emotional response in me so it's one of the things that keeps me going.

 

[lovingladyo4]

I don't go to bars either. I don't drink and do not feel they are the right place for me to go. But I have found my moments of deepest fulfillment and gratification have come from using the gifts and talents i was born with. I know you say you are not religious, but I am a Christian and that is not a religion. it is a relationship with someone who loves you. Religion is man-made rules and those can't possibly bring a person to their reason amd meaning for living! But a relationship with God can. 

You say you write music? How awesome is that! I love music! Here is my all-time favorite song - I want to share it with you.

Blessings to you friend!

I only drink socially so going to a pub and drinking on my own is not really my thing. It seems it can be harder to find friends depending where you live too, in my country everyone is quite paranoid and keep strangers at arms length most of the time so it makes making friends a bit tougher. I'm atheist btw so any kind of religion or belief in some kind of deity is not my thing, but anyway love and live and let live I say. I have my own talents and gifts that give me fulfillment and gratification too, one of them is certainly music as it can evoke a powerful emotional response in me so it's one of the things that keeps me going.

I am sorry you feel the need to keep so distant from people in your country. That makes me sad to hear. But maybe it is the wise thing to do. Have you ever played your music with others? Gotten together and just played for fun? Doing activities with those who are like-minded can become a common ground to begin some friendships. Do you have any of your music you can share here? Or send to me? I would love to hear what your music sounds like. I agree - music does something to the soul.

 

[ShybutHi]

I am sorry you feel the need to keep so distant from people in your country. That makes me sad to hear. But maybe it is the wise thing to do. Have you ever played your music with others? Gotten together and just played for fun? Doing activities with those who are like-minded can become a common ground to begin some friendships. Do you have any of your music you can share here? Or send to me? I would love to hear what your music sounds like. I agree - music does something to the soul.

Nah it is not me who feels the need to keep distant, what I mean is it's just the general kind of attitude of a lot of people here, not everyone is like it though.

Yes I have played music with others a lot in the past for fun and for work. I have even played on stage in front of a thousand people with others before and lots of venues despite having terrible anxiety... I think I just have strong willpower. I basically shut myself off completely to the outside world when on stage though so it didn't help with anxiety, in fact in the end it all started to stress me out a lot and contributed to making anxiety worse in some ways.   :club:

 

[lovingladyo4]

I am sorry you feel the need to keep so distant from people in your country. That makes me sad to hear. But maybe it is the wise thing to do. Have you ever played your music with others? Gotten together and just played for fun? Doing activities with those who are like-minded can become a common ground to begin some friendships. Do you have any of your music you can share here? Or send to me? I would love to hear what your music sounds like. I agree - music does something to the soul.

Nah it is not me who feels the need to keep distant, what I mean is it's just the general kind of attitude of a lot of people here, not everyone is like it though.

Yes I have played music with others a lot in the past for fun and for work. I have even played on stage in front of a thousand people with others before and lots of venues despite having terrible anxiety... I think I just have strong willpower. I basically shut myself off completely to the outside world when on stage though so it didn't help with anxiety, in fact in the end it all started to stress me out a lot and contributed to making anxiety worse in some ways.   :club:

I don't think I phrased the wording correctly about keeping your distance - I wasn't referring to you personally having to keep your distance, but more just in general - if that's the way people are where you live. I know every city can be so different. 

It sounds like playing your music on stage could be such an awesome experience, which I'm sure it was, but to have to carry around that extra weight of your emotions on top of it all was probably challenging. Were you always an anxious person? I mean, can you trace back to when you were younger and pin-point when you started feeling this way? Or was it something that surfaced as time went on?

My anxiety was rooted in fear of people judging me and making me feel inferior. But there are so many reasons why a person's anxiety can get triggered. I don't feel that way anymore, thankfully, but it took a lot of work to grow out of it, and as I mentioned before, my Christian faith allowed me to see myself the way God sees me. So, I was able to accept myself and actually love myself for who I was for the first time. The Bible has a verse in it that says, "All things have become new, the old has passed away." Well. that is very true, and I am living proof of that. I am a completely changed person now , and it wasn't medication or pyschology that got me to where I am today. Anyway, thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

 

[ShybutHi]

I am sorry you feel the need to keep so distant from people in your country. That makes me sad to hear. But maybe it is the wise thing to do. Have you ever played your music with others? Gotten together and just played for fun? Doing activities with those who are like-minded can become a common ground to begin some friendships. Do you have any of your music you can share here? Or send to me? I would love to hear what your music sounds like. I agree - music does something to the soul.

Nah it is not me who feels the need to keep distant, what I mean is it's just the general kind of attitude of a lot of people here, not everyone is like it though.

Yes I have played music with others a lot in the past for fun and for work. I have even played on stage in front of a thousand people with others before and lots of venues despite having terrible anxiety... I think I just have strong willpower. I basically shut myself off completely to the outside world when on stage though so it didn't help with anxiety, in fact in the end it all started to stress me out a lot and contributed to making anxiety worse in some ways.   :club:

I don't think I phrased the wording correctly about keeping your distance - I wasn't referring to you personally having to keep your distance, but more just in general - if that's the way people are where you live. I know every city can be so different. 

It sounds like playing your music on stage could be such an awesome experience, which I'm sure it was, but to have to carry around that extra weight of your emotions on top of it all was probably challenging. Were you always an anxious person? I mean, can you trace back to when you were younger and pin-point when you started feeling this way? Or was it something that surfaced as time went on?

My anxiety was rooted in fear of people judging me and making me feel inferior. But there are so many reasons why a person's anxiety can get triggered. I don't feel that way anymore, thankfully, but it took a lot of work to grow out of it, and as I mentioned before, my Christian faith allowed me to see myself the way God sees me. So, I was able to accept myself and actually love myself for who I was for the first time. The Bible has a verse in it that says, "All things have become new, the old has passed away." Well. that is very true, and I am living proof of that. I am a completely changed person now , and it wasn't medication or pyschology that got me to where I am today. Anyway, thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

I'm one of the people that got anxiety by what I believe are biological reasons, my mother used to suffer with it a lot. I was always fairly shy as a kid, though I actually had a lot of self confidence despite being shy. When I was about 17 or so though I started just getting anxious, in a general sense, which affected all things.. Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go to and with socializing too. So I became more and more withdrawn and unable to cope as time went on. 

I didn't do anything about it though and carried on while it was getting worse, it eventually got bad enough so that I basically couldn't function properly in society or socially and it was giving me major depression to the point of considering suicide multiple times a week, though I know I never would have actually done it. 

So I guess I'm just one of those unfortunate people who got it because of who I am in the biological sense and I never got any help or anything, didn't even want to help myself because of depression, and my parents as I was growing up didn't help me, but instead would just create arguments about things I couldn't cope with which made everything worse and made me more withdrawn. I think eventually it became more psychological rather than biological because I think as I got older biologically speaking my anxiety levels reduced, so it turned into perhaps a mixture of both but more psychological.

I fixed myself through self psychology and introspection though in recent years, no drugs or religion required for me.

 

[lovingladyo4]

I am sorry you feel the need to keep so distant from people in your country. That makes me sad to hear. But maybe it is the wise thing to do. Have you ever played your music with others? Gotten together and just played for fun? Doing activities with those who are like-minded can become a common ground to begin some friendships. Do you have any of your music you can share here? Or send to me? I would love to hear what your music sounds like. I agree - music does something to the soul.

Nah it is not me who feels the need to keep distant, what I mean is it's just the general kind of attitude of a lot of people here, not everyone is like it though.

Yes I have played music with others a lot in the past for fun and for work. I have even played on stage in front of a thousand people with others before and lots of venues despite having terrible anxiety... I think I just have strong willpower. I basically shut myself off completely to the outside world when on stage though so it didn't help with anxiety, in fact in the end it all started to stress me out a lot and contributed to making anxiety worse in some ways.   :club:

I don't think I phrased the wording correctly about keeping your distance - I wasn't referring to you personally having to keep your distance, but more just in general - if that's the way people are where you live. I know every city can be so different. 

It sounds like playing your music on stage could be such an awesome experience, which I'm sure it was, but to have to carry around that extra weight of your emotions on top of it all was probably challenging. Were you always an anxious person? I mean, can you trace back to when you were younger and pin-point when you started feeling this way? Or was it something that surfaced as time went on?

My anxiety was rooted in fear of people judging me and making me feel inferior. But there are so many reasons why a person's anxiety can get triggered. I don't feel that way anymore, thankfully, but it took a lot of work to grow out of it, and as I mentioned before, my Christian faith allowed me to see myself the way God sees me. So, I was able to accept myself and actually love myself for who I was for the first time. The Bible has a verse in it that says, "All things have become new, the old has passed away." Well. that is very true, and I am living proof of that. I am a completely changed person now , and it wasn't medication or pyschology that got me to where I am today. Anyway, thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

I'm one of the people that got anxiety by what I believe are biological reasons, my mother used to suffer with it a lot. I was always fairly shy as a kid, though I actually had a lot of self confidence despite being shy. When I was about 17 or so though I started just getting anxious, in a general sense, which affected all things.. Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go to and with socializing too. So I became more and more withdrawn and unable to cope as time went on. 

I didn't do anything about it though and carried on while it was getting worse, it eventually got bad enough so that I basically couldn't function properly in society or socially and it was giving me major depression to the point of considering suicide multiple times a week, though I know I never would have actually done it. 

So I guess I'm just one of those unfortunate people who got it because of who I am in the biological sense and I never got any help or anything, didn't even want to help myself because of depression, and my parents as I was growing up didn't help me, but instead would just create arguments about things I couldn't cope with which made everything worse and made me more withdrawn. I think eventually it became more psychological rather than biological because I think as I got older biologically speaking my anxiety levels reduced, so it turned into perhaps a mixture of both but more psychological.

I fixed myself through self psychology and introspection though in recent years, no drugs or religion required for me.

Interesting details you share. Being born with a chemical imbalance happens to a lot of people, and the generation before us never felt it was anything to be concerned with. They were from the "old school" which pretty much meant "quit-making-a-big-deal-out-of-nothing-and-feeling-so-sorry-for-yourself." They didn't give any attention to the fact that a chemical imbalance was even a real thing.

Too bad for them though, because they were so crippled in their thinking to know how to love their children in a nurturing way. And then, any attempt to overcome this debilitating monster was looked down upon. They were both bi-polar, so that right there explains why all of us kids struggled so desperately. 

I found some wonderful Christians who helped me the most. They could see my brokeness and despair and gave me new weapons to fight my lost self worth, which I did over time. I removed certain relationships from my life that hurt the most, changed my diet, started to exercise, became involved with mentally healthy people, became very active with my own personal interests, and started to believe that what God says about me is true. 

I read the Bible all the time. It is so amazing to understand that the God of the universe knows me better than I know myself. He knows my thoughts from afar and knows my words before I even speak them. He knows all of my days before any of the come to be. He loves with an everlasting love. His love is relentless, unfathomable, unchangable, and immeasurable. Has anyone ever loved you like that? People can't love like that. And to think that He gives people a choice to receive that love or reject it. Did you know that people choose their own destiny? Someday there will be a sifting - and God will separate the good from the bad. He promises eternity for those who receive His free gift of salvation, and for the others.... well you can read about it in the gospels where Jesus speaks about the future of mankind. Anyway, it's always nice talking to you and I will be praying for you. Is there anyone in your life right now that is praying for you? I pray everyday and I will add your name to my list. I will take your name before the throne of God who hears my prayers and answers them. Hope you are having a great day today!

 

[ShybutHi]

I am sorry you feel the need to keep so distant from people in your country. That makes me sad to hear. But maybe it is the wise thing to do. Have you ever played your music with others? Gotten together and just played for fun? Doing activities with those who are like-minded can become a common ground to begin some friendships. Do you have any of your music you can share here? Or send to me? I would love to hear what your music sounds like. I agree - music does something to the soul.

Nah it is not me who feels the need to keep distant, what I mean is it's just the general kind of attitude of a lot of people here, not everyone is like it though.

Yes I have played music with others a lot in the past for fun and for work. I have even played on stage in front of a thousand people with others before and lots of venues despite having terrible anxiety... I think I just have strong willpower. I basically shut myself off completely to the outside world when on stage though so it didn't help with anxiety, in fact in the end it all started to stress me out a lot and contributed to making anxiety worse in some ways.   :club:

I don't think I phrased the wording correctly about keeping your distance - I wasn't referring to you personally having to keep your distance, but more just in general - if that's the way people are where you live. I know every city can be so different. 

It sounds like playing your music on stage could be such an awesome experience, which I'm sure it was, but to have to carry around that extra weight of your emotions on top of it all was probably challenging. Were you always an anxious person? I mean, can you trace back to when you were younger and pin-point when you started feeling this way? Or was it something that surfaced as time went on?

My anxiety was rooted in fear of people judging me and making me feel inferior. But there are so many reasons why a person's anxiety can get triggered. I don't feel that way anymore, thankfully, but it took a lot of work to grow out of it, and as I mentioned before, my Christian faith allowed me to see myself the way God sees me. So, I was able to accept myself and actually love myself for who I was for the first time. The Bible has a verse in it that says, "All things have become new, the old has passed away." Well. that is very true, and I am living proof of that. I am a completely changed person now , and it wasn't medication or pyschology that got me to where I am today. Anyway, thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

I'm one of the people that got anxiety by what I believe are biological reasons, my mother used to suffer with it a lot. I was always fairly shy as a kid, though I actually had a lot of self confidence despite being shy. When I was about 17 or so though I started just getting anxious, in a general sense, which affected all things.. Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go to and with socializing too. So I became more and more withdrawn and unable to cope as time went on. 

I didn't do anything about it though and carried on while it was getting worse, it eventually got bad enough so that I basically couldn't function properly in society or socially and it was giving me major depression to the point of considering suicide multiple times a week, though I know I never would have actually done it. 

So I guess I'm just one of those unfortunate people who got it because of who I am in the biological sense and I never got any help or anything, didn't even want to help myself because of depression, and my parents as I was growing up didn't help me, but instead would just create arguments about things I couldn't cope with which made everything worse and made me more withdrawn. I think eventually it became more psychological rather than biological because I think as I got older biologically speaking my anxiety levels reduced, so it turned into perhaps a mixture of both but more psychological.

I fixed myself through self psychology and introspection though in recent years, no drugs or religion required for me.

Interesting details you share. Being born with a chemical imbalance happens to a lot of people, and the generation before us never felt it was anything to be concerned with. They were from the "old school" which pretty much meant "quit-making-a-big-deal-out-of-nothing-and-feeling-so-sorry-for-yourself." They didn't give any attention to the fact that a chemical imbalance was even a real thing.

Too bad for them though, because they were so crippled in their thinking to know how to love their children in a nurturing way. And then, any attempt to overcome this debilitating monster was looked down upon. They were both bi-polar, so that right there explains why all of us kids struggled so desperately. 

I found some wonderful Christians who helped me the most. They could see my brokeness and despair and gave me new weapons to fight my lost self worth, which I did over time. I removed certain relationships from my life that hurt the most, changed my diet, started to exercise, became involved with mentally healthy people, became very active with my own personal interests, and started to believe that what God says about me is true. 

I read the Bible all the time. It is so amazing to understand that the God of the universe knows me better than I know myself. He knows my thoughts from afar and knows my words before I even speak them. He knows all of my days before any of the come to be. He loves with an everlasting love. His love is relentless, unfathomable, unchangable, and immeasurable. Has anyone ever loved you like that? People can't love like that. And to think that He gives people a choice to receive that love or reject it. Did you know that people choose their own destiny? Someday there will be a sifting - and God will separate the good from the bad. He promises eternity for those who receive His free gift of salvation, and for the others.... well you can read about it in the gospels where Jesus speaks about the future of mankind. Anyway, it's always nice talking to you and I will be praying for you. Is there anyone in your life right now that is praying for you? I pray everyday and I will add your name to my list. I will take your name before the throne of God who hears my prayers and answers them. Hope you are having a great day today!

I am pretty sure this forum doesn't really like to have people include religion in posts, I expect particularly preaching anyway as it can lead to arguments and other problems. As I said earlier I am actually an atheist so all that stuff you talk about means nothing to me at all and it never will. No need to pray for me either, I hope no one prays for me as it is disrespectful in some ways. While the sentiment of hope for a person is of course nice and always welcoming and I do the same, to pray would dictate a higher value of your belief system over someone else's, as if to say you need to plead to this 3rd party deity to 'save' and 'help' the person who doesn't belong to the same belief system and is ignorant of it.

 

[lovingladyo4]

Nah it is not me who feels the need to keep distant, what I mean is it's just the general kind of attitude of a lot of people here, not everyone is like it though.

Yes I have played music with others a lot in the past for fun and for work. I have even played on stage in front of a thousand people with others before and lots of venues despite having terrible anxiety... I think I just have strong willpower. I basically shut myself off completely to the outside world when on stage though so it didn't help with anxiety, in fact in the end it all started to stress me out a lot and contributed to making anxiety worse in some ways.   :club:

I don't think I phrased the wording correctly about keeping your distance - I wasn't referring to you personally having to keep your distance, but more just in general - if that's the way people are where you live. I know every city can be so different. 

It sounds like playing your music on stage could be such an awesome experience, which I'm sure it was, but to have to carry around that extra weight of your emotions on top of it all was probably challenging. Were you always an anxious person? I mean, can you trace back to when you were younger and pin-point when you started feeling this way? Or was it something that surfaced as time went on?

My anxiety was rooted in fear of people judging me and making me feel inferior. But there are so many reasons why a person's anxiety can get triggered. I don't feel that way anymore, thankfully, but it took a lot of work to grow out of it, and as I mentioned before, my Christian faith allowed me to see myself the way God sees me. So, I was able to accept myself and actually love myself for who I was for the first time. The Bible has a verse in it that says, "All things have become new, the old has passed away." Well. that is very true, and I am living proof of that. I am a completely changed person now , and it wasn't medication or pyschology that got me to where I am today. Anyway, thanks for letting me share my thoughts.

I'm one of the people that got anxiety by what I believe are biological reasons, my mother used to suffer with it a lot. I was always fairly shy as a kid, though I actually had a lot of self confidence despite being shy. When I was about 17 or so though I started just getting anxious, in a general sense, which affected all things.. Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go to and with socializing too. So I became more and more withdrawn and unable to cope as time went on. 

I didn't do anything about it though and carried on while it was getting worse, it eventually got bad enough so that I basically couldn't function properly in society or socially and it was giving me major depression to the point of considering suicide multiple times a week, though I know I never would have actually done it. 

So I guess I'm just one of those unfortunate people who got it because of who I am in the biological sense and I never got any help or anything, didn't even want to help myself because of depression, and my parents as I was growing up didn't help me, but instead would just create arguments about things I couldn't cope with which made everything worse and made me more withdrawn. I think eventually it became more psychological rather than biological because I think as I got older biologically speaking my anxiety levels reduced, so it turned into perhaps a mixture of both but more psychological.

I fixed myself through self psychology and introspection though in recent years, no drugs or religion required for me.

Interesting details you share. Being born with a chemical imbalance happens to a lot of people, and the generation before us never felt it was anything to be concerned with. They were from the "old school" which pretty much meant "quit-making-a-big-deal-out-of-nothing-and-feeling-so-sorry-for-yourself." They didn't give any attention to the fact that a chemical imbalance was even a real thing.

Too bad for them though, because they were so crippled in their thinking to know how to love their children in a nurturing way. And then, any attempt to overcome this debilitating monster was looked down upon. They were both bi-polar, so that right there explains why all of us kids struggled so desperately. 

I found some wonderful Christians who helped me the most. They could see my brokeness and despair and gave me new weapons to fight my lost self worth, which I did over time. I removed certain relationships from my life that hurt the most, changed my diet, started to exercise, became involved with mentally healthy people, became very active with my own personal interests, and started to believe that what God says about me is true. 

I read the Bible all the time. It is so amazing to understand that the God of the universe knows me better than I know myself. He knows my thoughts from afar and knows my words before I even speak them. He knows all of my days before any of the come to be. He loves with an everlasting love. His love is relentless, unfathomable, unchangable, and immeasurable. Has anyone ever loved you like that? People can't love like that. And to think that He gives people a choice to receive that love or reject it. Did you know that people choose their own destiny? Someday there will be a sifting - and God will separate the good from the bad. He promises eternity for those who receive His free gift of salvation, and for the others.... well you can read about it in the gospels where Jesus speaks about the future of mankind. Anyway, it's always nice talking to you and I will be praying for you. Is there anyone in your life right now that is praying for you? I pray everyday and I will add your name to my list. I will take your name before the throne of God who hears my prayers and answers them. Hope you are having a great day today!

I am pretty sure this forum doesn't really like to have people include religion in posts, I expect particularly preaching anyway as it can lead to arguments and other problems. As I said earlier I am actually an atheist so all that stuff you talk about means nothing to me at all and it never will. No need to pray for me either, I hope no one prays for me as it is disrespectful in some ways. While the sentiment of hope for a person is of course nice and always welcoming and I do the same, to pray would dictate a higher value of your belief system over someone else's, as if to say you need to plead to this 3rd party deity to 'save' and 'help' the person who doesn't belong to the same belief system and is ignorant of it.

I am working on a project and when I am done i will send it to you. Be patient, it might take a while. And then, after that, I will leave you alone. I don't want you to think I am being rude.

 

[ShybutHi]

I am working on a project and when I am done i will send it to you. Be patient, it might take a while. And then, after that, I will leave you alone. I don't want you to think I am being rude.

If it has anything to do with your religion at all then you are truly wasting your time. I care about real things in life that we know to exist. In the instance of this section of the forum, those are things like anxiety, depression and loneliness... Those are the subjects of discourse here. 

I'm certainly not interested in your dogmatic view of reality based on nothing but conjecture. The burden of proof is on you, not me.

 

[lovingladyo4]

I understand completely!
1. It does not have anything to do with my religion
2. I am not wasting my time
3.This is a real thing
4. You do know it exists
5. It will address why people are depressed, lonely, and have anxiety
6. It is not my dogmatic view
7. It is not conjecture
8. It is not a burden on me

I am working on a project and when I am done i will send it to you. Be patient, it might take a while. And then, after that, I will leave you alone. I don't want you to think I am being rude.

If it has anything to do with your religion at all then you are truly wasting your time. I care about real things in life that we know to exist. In the instance of this section of the forum, those are things like anxiety, depression and loneliness... Those are the subjects of discourse here. 

I'm certainly not interested in your dogmatic view of reality based on nothing but conjecture. The burden of proof is on you, not me.