That Feeling

[Legato]

Anyone else familiar with that sinking feeling inside? Tried to put my finger on what it is, but never understood it. My last thread explained how everything went for me last year. Was hoping for a good start to this year, but so far 'that feeling' seems to follow me into every situation.

The different a few days can do to make you feel completely useless/worthless.

Last Week

Last week started well. I woke up each morning early like I used to, going the gym for a quick workout to perk me up a little. A few people I used to be friends with decided to see how I was etc, became pretty close again.

1, Had a boyfriend, but always came to me for advice etc
2, Was pregnant, felt lonely and was ill
3, A few misc girls who I tend to flirt with etc.

Thinking positive seemed to be working well for want. I was actually feeling wanted. A whole week without feeling down is an achievment for me.

This Week

Despite Tuesday not even being at an end yet, it's already drastically change.

1, Split up with her boyfriend, despite saying she'd need me there has been very distant (despite all the effort ive been doing to help her) Fair play when you need space, but to say you dont wanna talk to anyone, but talking to everyone apart from me is weird.

2, This 'friend' suddenly became well again, has not been in touch. When asked about this, she turned vile. Called me selfish and pathetic for attempting suicide a few weeks back. I'm rid of her now, but a pattern seemed to be immerging.

3, Everyone single person I had spoken to had lost interest. Made excuses to argue with me, ignored me, or in some cases deleted me etc.

---

I could go into more detail about all of these things, but you kinda get the picture. You always here "they're not worth it though", but why do i feel 'That Feeling' inside.

It feels like heartache.

But it's not like i'm in love with these people. I care about each and everyone I come across, it's just the way I am.

But 'That Feeling' makes me want to avoid people.

Anyone else get this?[/u]

 

[Tiina63]

Hi, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad and I can understand how hurt, confused and alone you must be feeling. That person who called you selfish and pathetic for attempting suicide some weeks ago is despicable in my eyes. You need support and understanding, not rejection from her.
The fact that a lot of others are ignoring and deleting you is worrying, though. I don't know the whole situation, so please do not think I am being unsupportive here, but can you think of anything you might have said to them which could have made them withdraw from you? The reason I am asking this is because they are behaving in a way in which I sometimes behave if someone has hurt me a lot and I want to end contact with them without actually being brave enough to tell them that this is what I am doing. If there isn't anything you have said or done, I am unsure what is happening. It is a very odd situation and so hard for you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I used to get it and still get it.
I get vari emotions from day to day.

I feel un easy today but its not
Bad. Not getting along with my
fiancee at the moment.

I use the sedana methdoe.
I feel my feelings and dont figure them out. Then just
Let go of them.
Trying not to let outside situation effect me.
Positive self talk helps too.

Just dont feel like working it
Today. Im not freaking out.
im up set. I know why im upset.
So im feeling this up set feeling
For what it is....
Not stuffing my feelings anymore.
Trying not to react or make rash
Decisions at the moment.

Spoke to someone about it.

In the past id really freak out.

I still feel like **** though.

 

[Legato]

Hi, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad and I can understand how hurt, confused and alone you must be feeling. That person who called you selfish and pathetic for attempting suicide some weeks ago is despicable in my eyes. You need support and understanding, not rejection from her.
The fact that a lot of others are ignoring and deleting you is worrying, though. I don't know the whole situation, so please do not think I am being unsupportive here, but can you think of anything you might have said to them which could have made them withdraw from you? The reason I am asking this is because they are behaving in a way in which I sometimes behave if someone has hurt me a lot and I want to end contact with them without actually being brave enough to tell them that this is what I am doing. If there isn't anything you have said or done, I am unsure what is happening. It is a very odd situation and so hard for you.

That's the worst part about it all.

I give everyone time and attention because it's the type of person I am. I never take my anger out on people, I never insult people.

I'm the type of guy that's bad with guilt. So if i did say somethin bad, i'd feel horrible until the situation is sorted. This feeling has forced me not to be like that.

Some don't understand the word depression unless they've ever suffered with it. When people find out I think they find out excuses not to get close to you. Not everyone is like that, but some people just dont really understand.

I don't understand how you can just block someone out of your life for no reason at all though. It's petty, pathetic.

 

[AJR]

This happened to me very recently. I found this article online that, though from the POV of a woman(I being a man) rang so true to me, Ill post it here. It is rather long so Im sorry if that annoys some.

Just as facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored, people and feelings, negative or positive, do not magically fall off the face of the earth because a sudden desire to ignore them develops. Cowards ignore that which they cannot face, cannot compete with and cannot measure up to. It is far different to ignore infrequent distasteful actions than it is to continually and willfully ignore the feelings of those who have done no harm, those who have given of themselves freely. When two people ride a teeter-totter there is the expectation that both parties will stay on in order to keep the other person from hitting the ground. My end is on the ground and through the dust I can clearly see who deserted their post.

I hate being ignored and it is the one thing in my life that angers me more than anything because it shows more cruelty than a forceful slap across the face. When I take the time to talk to someone I do expect a response, it does not need to be long and drawn out, a simple connecting response to let me know I was heard will suffice. This is not a gender issue as far as I am concerned because I have run into many men who dislike being ignored just as much as I do.

Ignoring someone, without reasonable justification is tantamount to a declaration of war to me and so I fight to be noticed, I fight to be heard. And so, in writing this I am not targeting any one person in particular but a condition that has plagued me most of my life. Ignore me without just cause and I will remove you from my life. Ignore my need to express how I feel about any particular life event that I find monumentally important and I will remove you from my heart.


The last line is what I tend to have issue with. When faced with this situation I cant help but fight it tooth and nail, but still end up failing in the end. Not me personally but the hope that a relationship or friendship is not beyond repair. Hope you are doing better today and again sorry for the long post.

 

[Legato]

Don't apologise for posts being long. It's brilliant to hear other people understanding this feeling.

I'm the same as you. Even if I'm made to feel like ****, I still tend to battle on to make a friendship work, despite being walked all over the majority of time. I tell myself to be more selfish, but as soon as that person/persons come back into my life, I let down my guard and welcome them back with open arms.

The main problem with me is i over think too much. Not everyone in my life is like my OP. Some do care, but just don't have the time to always be around, which is understandable. But when 99% of the people push you awasy, treat you like ****, it's hard not to judge.

I'm feeling better today than I was yesterday, actually managing to get out of bed.

 

[Tiina63]

Hi, I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad and I can understand how hurt, confused and alone you must be feeling. That person who called you selfish and pathetic for attempting suicide some weeks ago is despicable in my eyes. You need support and understanding, not rejection from her.
The fact that a lot of others are ignoring and deleting you is worrying, though. I don't know the whole situation, so please do not think I am being unsupportive here, but can you think of anything you might have said to them which could have made them withdraw from you? The reason I am asking this is because they are behaving in a way in which I sometimes behave if someone has hurt me a lot and I want to end contact with them without actually being brave enough to tell them that this is what I am doing. If there isn't anything you have said or done, I am unsure what is happening. It is a very odd situation and so hard for you.

That's the worst part about it all.

I give everyone time and attention because it's the type of person I am. I never take my anger out on people, I never insult people.

I'm the type of guy that's bad with guilt. So if i did say somethin bad, i'd feel horrible until the situation is sorted. This feeling has forced me not to be like that.

Some don't understand the word depression unless they've ever suffered with it. When people find out I think they find out excuses not to get close to you. Not everyone is like that, but some people just dont really understand.

I don't understand how you can just block someone out of your life for no reason at all though. It's petty, pathetic.

Yes, to block someone out of your life for no reason is not a nice thing to do to someone. On the rare occasions I have blocked someone, it has been because they have hurt me very deeply.
I think you are right when you say that there are people who do not understand depression when they haven't suffered from it themselves. They tend to see it as self indulgent instead of seeing it is an illness. It does get to me when those who are blessed with a large support network and emotional robustness look down on those of us who lack these things and find life more of a struggle because of it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

1, Had a boyfriend, but always came to me for advice etc
2, Was pregnant, felt lonely and was ill
3, A few misc girls who I tend to flirt with etc.


1, Split up with her boyfriend, despite saying she'd need me there has been very distant (despite all the effort ive been doing to help her) Fair play when you need space, but to say you dont wanna talk to anyone, but talking to everyone apart from me is weird.

2, This 'friend' suddenly became well again, has not been in touch. When asked about this, she turned vile. Called me selfish and pathetic for attempting suicide a few weeks back. I'm rid of her now, but a pattern seemed to be immerging.

3, Everyone single person I had spoken to had lost interest. Made excuses to argue with me, ignored me, or in some cases deleted me etc.

I am so confused. Your profile says male, are you? Are you gay/straight/bi? I just don't know what the heck you got going on here?

 

[Hoffy]

1, Had a boyfriend, but always came to me for advice etc
2, Was pregnant, felt lonely and was ill
3, A few misc girls who I tend to flirt with etc.


1, Split up with her boyfriend, despite saying she'd need me there has been very distant (despite all the effort ive been doing to help her) Fair play when you need space, but to say you dont wanna talk to anyone, but talking to everyone apart from me is weird.

2, This 'friend' suddenly became well again, has not been in touch. When asked about this, she turned vile. Called me selfish and pathetic for attempting suicide a few weeks back. I'm rid of her now, but a pattern seemed to be immerging.

3, Everyone single person I had spoken to had lost interest. Made excuses to argue with me, ignored me, or in some cases deleted me etc.

I am so confused. Your profile says male, are you? Are you gay/straight/bi? I just don't know what the heck you got going on here?

I'm prett sure he is speaking about the girls that are friends in his life They are just numbered. He was giving background info on each

 

[Legato]

Lol, I'm not gay

 

[Sci-Fi]

Oh, the girls were numbered, that makes more sense now.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I did plenty of research. Read plenty of self help
Books.

Im feeling much better today.
Ill still get those awful feelings from
Time to time. They pass through quicker
Now. I try not to react to them.

All the self hep books have a common
Theme. I must get proactuve and work
Things from the inside out.

---

They all say...Im responsible for my thoughts,
Feelings and actions.
I HAVE A CHIOCE.

---

Its much easier for me to grasp that i have a chioce
When thoughts and feelings are simply just like
Items of clothing I wear.In this way i don't
Identify myself as my feelings...

Exmaple...
I FEEL DEPRESSED rather then Im depressed.

---

This aldo help me to practice reshift my focus.
Positive self talk to maintain positive thoughts
and feelings..which form my attitudes.

 

[Sci-Fi]

From what you've said, that sounds pretty normal. Especially for women, sorry ladies. Mood swings.

If it makes any difference Monday was what they call Blue Monday. The most depressing day of the year. It's when everything catches up to you, the cold darker days, the end of the holidays and the arrival of those wonderful credit card bills. So maybe they were feeling it and lashing out.

In my own experience, when things seem to be going okay something always seems to happen to finally crap on it. Wouldn't it be wonderful if **** never happened. But that's just not the case.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Its lesrning to trigger good feelngs we all
Have within ourselves alrrady.
Allowing ourselves to feel good already.
Our feelings comes from within us.
people, places and things only trigger
Our emotions.
I dont feel good 100% of the time.
But the percentage of my good moods
Are in the high 90%...
Things dont always go my way and don't
Always get what i want. I dont deny
I feel and at times....its ok to feel like
**** sometimes...but i cant let it go
On and on either. Its just catching
myself and knowing the watning signs.
Preventing myself from going into a
deep depression.

---

As far as getting women...
My love life isnt perfect.
But women have always been attracted
To me. I attract lots of women and
Some asked me out. Ive evem been stalked.
So by default im more confortible alround
Women from simple exposure.

Relationships...is work in progress.
Im work in progress.

 

[roguewave]

I use the sedana methdoe.
I feel my feelings and dont figure them out. Then just
Let go of them.
Trying not to let outside situation effect me.
Positive self talk helps too.

Lonesome Crow, would you consider starting a thread on the Sedana method? I've heard you mention it a couple times now and it looks interesting, especially because you've had so much success with it.

To the OP: The only thing I can think of is that maybe you are attracting people that are unstable to being with so there is a greater tendency for them to disappear on you?