The experiment I did....

[M_also_lonely]

I wanted to see what happens. So I sent a message to every girl who was in my class at school and who use facebook regularly, saying "Hi". Just to find whats wrong with me that they never considered me same as the other guys.They were total 38. Waited until "Seen" appeared on everybody's chat box. 37 of them never replied back. And the one left sent me a "Hi".Then she said sorry, because she had always behaved with me rudely without any reason and this fact was a subject of fun for other guys. Then she said she is not much active on Facebook and so gave her number to me, before I asked.

Why would anybody do that?
Its just like those guys suddenly started behaving well with me.
Why would she message me her number without I asked?
Its the first number of a girl I ever had, who did not gave it to any guy in school except one of two, and both of them were handsome. I am not even good looking, then why did she do that.

Other thing, I need time to decide what I should reply. So when I dint message her, next day she says "Good Morning"
I am worried because inspite of having so many friends she is messaging me. Why?

 

[Batman55]

I would be wary of this. There's a chance she might be trying to exploit your lack of awareness, like others have been doing lately. Lots of people enjoy the temporary boost of self-esteem they get when manipulating others. Don't let yourself be a victim to this anymore.

Another important note: Always be skeptical. ESPECIALLY whenever something seems too good to be true.

 

[McDamned]

Well I'd suggest to keep all possibilities in mind, and yes that comes with risk but without risk no play and without play no win. Not everyone is a bad person and the chance of this person toying with you, at this point, is just as big as her not doing so. You might want to give her the benefit of the doubt untill proven guilty, just dont get carried away and see where it leads. Its easy to isolate yourself preventing others to find a target in you but if you make it a habit you can never have a social life again, one have to take certain risks in life to progress.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Well, we talked and I came to know about her hobby which is painting. And showed a few paintings when I asked. And then she didn't ask my hobby.

So as you said previously, peole talke about hobbies and interests, am I done talking to her. Does it last this long only?

 

[user 115627]

Well, we talked and I came to know about her hobby which is painting. And showed a few paintings when I asked. And then she didn't ask my hobby.

So as you said previously, peole talke about hobbies and interests, am I done talking to her. Does it last this long only?

You could've just started talking about your hobbies by yourself without her asking beforehand...you are allowed to do that, you know?

Cause it sounds like you didn't even try to push it further. So you can't outright say this interaction is done yet.

 

[Sci-Fi]

"Seen" doesn't really mean much on Facebook. I've "seen" a few messages I had but didn't read them until I had time to sit down and reply. Plus sending just a "Hi" to someone won't get much of a reply right away, most of the time.

You took a massive risk sending "Hi" to 38 women.

As for the one who replied to you, maybe she is interested in getting to know you better, and as for not asking about your hobbies, maybe she meant to and forgot. I've done that a bunch of times, reply to someone then forget to ask them things in return. I just do it next time if I remember, sometimes if it is on topic they just mention it in conversation without having to ask.

 

[M_also_lonely]

"Seen" doesn't really mean much on Facebook. I've "seen" a few messages I had but didn't read them until I had time to sit down and reply. Plus sending just a "Hi" to someone won't get much of a reply right away, most of the time.

You took a massive risk sending "Hi" to 38 women.

As for the one who replied to you, maybe she is interested in getting to know you better, and as for not asking about your hobbies, maybe she meant to and forgot. I've done that a bunch of times, reply to someone then forget to ask them things in return. I just do it next time if I remember, sometimes if it is on topic they just mention it in conversation without having to ask.

Well, ok, when I asked here previously. on how to talk, all of them advised me to smile and say "Hi" . I cant smile online, still I sent a smiley to a few. What else am I supposed to say to people whom I have never talked?

Another thing, poeple meet online, become friends, get into relationships, etc.
Is it risky because I did that?

Ok if she didnt ask me, as I had no answer to that question. But if I say some hobbies of mine. Is it the end of the talk?

Because everyone here told me that poeple talk about hobbies and interests. Which is already done. So what next? I want to know what you peole talk that make you close friends and spend all day talking with each other.


As per the advise I got that people talk about hobbies, does it go like this:

Me: Hey what are your hobbies?
She replies.


Me next day: Any update on hobbies?
she replies.
.
.
.
.Does it go like this? Please tell me what do you talk about???
And how?


And why dont I know what to talk?

This is the first girl talk to me properly more than 5 minutes, and I dont want to bore her. I want her to become my friend. Because I hate it when I see a guy with 4 girls at the mall, and other side me, not even one to talk with.

 

[Sci-Fi]

There is a big difference between saying "Hi" to someone is person and just saying "Hi" to them online. I doubt people meant to mass mail 38 women, they probably meant in person or in passing.

If you are interested in her hobbies ask questions about it, and if it leads into something you enjoy mention it, maybe she'll ask you more. Some people need baiting to open up more. Take an interest in their interests if you are interested. If not, yeah the conversation will end and that will be that. Try talking about whatever you have in common, you don't have to stick to just one thing.

And don't fixate so much on these other guys with four other girls at the mall, who cares about him. Maybe he just has female friends, maybe he's gay and not interested in them, maybe they are his sisters or cousins, you don't know another persons situation so don't worry about the other people.

 

[Nicolelt]

There is a big difference between saying "Hi" to someone is person and just saying "Hi" to them online. I doubt people meant to mass mail 38 women, they probably meant in person or in passing.

"Hi" on Facebook is more like spamming. Most of the time if a random person says "Hi" to me on FB, then I reply, I get some sort of spam because someone hacked into their FB. So I don't reply to "Hi" anymore.

 

[Rainbows]

If someone says "Hi" to me on facebook out of the blue and nothing else, I get creeped out. Lol. I never reply.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Okay, so most of them didn't respond. My question would be, why do you want people in your life that don't pay you any mind? Grabbing for attention from people that just don't care probably won't work out for you in the long run.

 

[h3donist]

Sending "hi" to 38 women and seeing who responds is quite a shallow thing to do as you aren't showing any genuine interest, you're just casting a net and seeing who you catch, regardless of whether you truly like them or not. It doesn't seem very respectful. What would happen if one did genuinely like you and was thrilled to receive a message from you, only for her to discover that her friends had received the same message? How special does that make her feel?

Your first thing is to wait until you meet someone you actually like, genuinely feel a connection with on a deeper level than the fact that they are a girl and they go to your school. And from your posts I think this means expanding your horizons away from your class and look elsewhere. Do something with your life so that you have something to talk and you will give yourself more opportunities to meet someone who shares a connection with you.

 

[Nicolelt]

Sending "hi" to 38 women and seeing who responds is quite a shallow thing to do as you aren't showing any genuine interest, you're just casting a net and seeing who you catch, regardless of whether you truly like them or not. It doesn't seem very respectful. What would happen if one did genuinely like you and was thrilled to receive a message from you, only for her to discover that her friends had received the same message? How special does that make her feel?

And if the women know each other, which I am assuming they do, they will talk about this. So they will discover that you said Hi to all of them.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Okay, so most of them didn't respond. My question would be, why do you want people in your life that don't pay you any mind? Grabbing for attention from people that just don't care probably won't work out for you in the long run.

Dont pay me any mind??? Well then then the whole world does that, even my mom. So if you are saying I should not talk to people who dont give a **** then FYI everyone around me doesn't give a ****. So shall I stay all alone forever?

---

What would happen if one did genuinely like you and was thrilled to receive a message from you.

hahahahahaha seriously, you gone insane. Why would anybody do that......Dude they are girls, they are not meant to like me....Even my mom says that....

 

[ladyforsaken]

hahahahahaha seriously, you gone insane. Why would anybody do that......Dude they are girls, they are not meant to like me....Even my mom says that....

If that outlook is how you exhibit to people, then girls are likely to avoid you, I guess.

 

[Sci-Fi]

There are several women here who are engaging in conversation with you on this topic and you are being slightly hostel to their comments, if that's how you act in real life then...like LadyF said they are going to avoid you. If you get jealous over seeing a guy with several girls around him, that shows, even if you don't think it does. People pick up on that.

Doesn't seem like your mother is a very supportive person either.

 

[Despicable Me]

I'm not sure why everyone here is getting so down on M for messaging a bunch of girls. Maybe it's not the best thing to just message a bunch of girls just to say Hi, but is it really going to hurt? Maybe some of you should give it a try instead of just condemning it? Worth a shot, huh? And maybe it'll work for some of you like it worked for M here.

In any case, just show some interest in her M. It sounds to me like someone is opening up to you, that's awesome.
She showed you some paintings so talk to her about that stuff. Tell her what you like about her paintings. Ask her if she does anything else like that. Tell her some stuff you like that might be related. Briefly mention something about your own hobbies/interests and see if she says anything. Follow along with the things she talks about and try to participate and actually show interest. Don't just ask her for "updates" on her hobbies. That would be weird. But maybe if you haven't talked in a while you could message her and ask if she has painted anything new lately, just to try start up a new conversation. Don't do it too often or else you'll come across as 'needy' or annoying. Just an occasional "How are you doing?" and things like that so you don't fall out of touch.
Also, if you think the conversation gets a little awkward at some point, apologize and tell her something like how you don't have that many people to talk to and you're 'a little out of practice' or something like that. Hopefully she'll understand.

If you're really wanting to know 'Why?' and it's bugging you not to know, and feel it's an appropriate time to ask, you could tell her you were just wondering why she's talking to you now when she never did before. Maybe she is actually lonelier than she appears. Maybe she was only mean to you before because she felt peer-pressure and she gave in, so maybe now she is trying to change or has already done so. Who knows? You can't know unless you ask. Might as well if you have nothing else to talk about.

Oh, and if you happen to see her around in real life, don't forget to give a friendly 'Hi' as you pass by or whatever. Don't linger for a conversation, unless it looks like she is wanting to talk to you, but just enough that it shows her a sign that you're acknowledging her existence.

I don't know how else to give suggestions about how to have a conversation. Just talk! It doesn't really matter what you talk about as long as you are showing interest in her or it is something she might be interested in. Think of it kind of like an 'exchange'. If she says something, you are expected to say something related in return, and it goes back and forth like this indefinitely.

 

[Batman55]

Sending "hi" to 38 women and seeing who responds is quite a shallow thing to do as you aren't showing any genuine interest, you're just casting a net and seeing who you catch, regardless of whether you truly like them or not. It doesn't seem very respectful. What would happen if one did genuinely like you and was thrilled to receive a message from you, only for her to discover that her friends had received the same message? How special does that make her feel?

Are you sure about this? Don't we all have to become immune to rejection anyway? Don't we have to take risks? I could go on.

I see your point, but in my opinion as far as the OP goes, he's done worse.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Okay, so most of them didn't respond. My question would be, why do you want people in your life that don't pay you any mind? Grabbing for attention from people that just don't care probably won't work out for you in the long run.

Dont pay me any mind??? Well then then the whole world does that, even my mom. So if you are saying I should not talk to people who dont give a **** then FYI everyone around me doesn't give a ****. So shall I stay all alone forever?

I suppose that's the more drastic approach to it. Whose fault is it that everyone around you is like that? Surely not mine. Probably not even you. That's just how some people are, especially if you don't really know them from a can of paint. Personally, I'd rather be alone than to have a million people pretending to be my friend.

---

Don't we all have to become immune to rejection anyway?

Accept it, sure. Become immune to it? I don't know about that.

 

[h3donist]

Sending "hi" to 38 women and seeing who responds is quite a shallow thing to do as you aren't showing any genuine interest, you're just casting a net and seeing who you catch, regardless of whether you truly like them or not. It doesn't seem very respectful. What would happen if one did genuinely like you and was thrilled to receive a message from you, only for her to discover that her friends had received the same message? How special does that make her feel?

Are you sure about this? Don't we all have to become immune to rejection anyway? Don't we have to take risks? I could go on.

I see your point, but in my opinion as far as the OP goes, he's done worse.

I don't think we have to become immune to rejection at all - on the contrary in fact, rejection is an important emotion to feel as it means a lot more to us when we are finally accepted. It's horrible I know, but to go through life avoiding rejection is to never feel any of the highs either. Reminds me of a song lyric "You have to risk your heart for love to find you" - dead true. Yes of course we have to take risks - that's what being alive is all about.