The next step....

[Callie]

Okay, so most of you know that I'm married, but separated. We have been separated for 14 months now and I am well aware that he will not be coming back. He's moved on, while I sit here stuck in the past. I'm stuck remembering the life we had before it got bad, remembering the good times we had, as well as the numerous bad times that eventually lead to our downfall.
Yes, I still love him with everything I am and yes, I still want him back. But, I want the man he used to be and I don't know if he will ever even remotely resemble that man again. I know I have to move on, but I don't know how.....
I know the first step I have to take to moving on is filing for divorce or legal separation, but I don't know if I have the strength to do that. I have no IRL support system and I know if I were to take that step, I would need some kind of support...HERE, in my real life, outside the computer. I have support online and through text messages, but that doesn't always cut it. I never thought I would have to take this step. I would have never gotten married if I thought there was even the slightest possibility of it.
Part of me realizes that the reason I can't take this step is because I'm afraid that no one else will want me, that I'm not worth any type of relationship after this. Part of me doesn't want to take this step because I don't believe in divorce. And yet another part of me is so ******* lonely, yet I can't have a relationship until I take this step. I'm already tettering on the edge of the cliff I've found myself on and I don't know if I'm strong enough to get through this alone. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do and i wish like hell someone else could do it for me....
I don't know why I wrote this all out... I guess just to get it out. If you read it, thanks for listening. If not, I don't really blame you....lol

 

[Peter Lorre]

Well, I did read your thread but I don't really know what to say... except that I wish I could offer some kind of help (or at the least figure out something helpful to say).

There's one thing I can say though: my aunt got through a pretty bad divorce, her husband left her and the children (after taking most of the money with him). They had some pretty rough times after that, both financially and emotionally, but they pulled through. It's not easy, but if you take it one step at a time, then I really think you can do it too. Believe in yourself

Also, it seems a bit empty to say to you now that you'll be able to meet other guys, men that won't be scared away by the thought of you being divorced and a single mother; yet it's the absolute truth. So don't despair!

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck with all of this... I hope it won't be too hard on you.

 

[Joseph]

Don't seek happiness in a relationship.

Find happiness within and without.

Enjoy a relationship if one happens.

 

[Callie]

Don't seek happiness in a relationship.

Find happiness within and without.

Enjoy a relationship if one happens.

I didn't say I needed a relationship to be happy.
Just that there's no possibility of one while I'm still married.

 

[Zeek]

I'm sorry Darlin'.... *hugs you*

It is hard...It is hell...I was dumped after 13 years.....This was 2 years ago and it's still not over. I think it's harder on men, especially fathers. Not only did I lose my best friend, sole companion and wife, I lost my kids as well....double rejection. It was my worst fear and has become the hardest thing I've had to deal with in life...

PM me Callie...I understand it all....I'm here if you want.

Zeek

 

[Callie]

I'm sorry Darlin'.... *hugs you*

It is hard...It is hell...I was dumped after 13 years.....This was 2 years ago and it's still not over. I think it's harder on men, especially fathers. Not only did I lose my best friend, sole companion and wife, I lost my kids as well....double rejection. It was my worst fear and has become the hardest thing I've had to deal with in life...

PM me Callie...I understand it all....I'm here if you want.

Zeek

Next month will be our 11 year wedding anniversary....We were together since 1998.
As far as it being harder on him... I don't think so. He has a new family now. His whore and her kids.

 

[Joseph]

Don't seek happiness in a relationship.

Find happiness within and without.

Enjoy a relationship if one happens.

I didn't say I needed a relationship to be happy.
Just that there's no possibility of one while I'm still married.

Heh, what do I know anyway....

 

[Badjedidude]

He has a new family now. His whore and her kids.

No offense... but I'm not sure you'll be fully ready for another relationship until he stops being "*******," in your mind and his woman stops being "the whore."

Believe me, I understand that you're angry at him.... but you gotta find a way to let go of the bitterness before it builds too far. It won't be easy, but... I think you'll be waaaaay better off when you get to where you see him as just a guy who made a choice that hurt you... instead of ******* WHAT A ****** ****** HATE HIM HE DUMBASSSSSSSSS etc etc.

*shrug*

You know I'm here for ya. If you ever wanna talk or anything, you know how to reach me. (hug)

 

[Dessa]

((((((((((HUG)))))))))) I don't think I can say anything that will even remotely help except that you deserve happiness.

 

[Callie]

He has a new family now. His whore and her kids.

No offense... but I'm not sure you'll be fully ready for another relationship until he stops being "*******," in your mind and his woman stops being "the whore."

Believe me, I understand that you're angry at him.... but you gotta find a way to let go of the bitterness before it builds too far. It won't be easy, but... I think you'll be waaaaay better off when you get to where you see him as just a guy who made a choice that hurt you... instead of ******* WHAT A ****** ****** HATE HIM HE DUMBASSSSSSSSS etc etc.

*shrug*

You know I'm here for ya. If you ever wanna talk or anything, you know how to reach me. (hug)

Oh I know I won't be ready for a relationship for awhile, but I'll never be ready if I don't DO something to change ****. I have to take this step, but.....
thanks, jedi (hug)

((((((((((HUG)))))))))) I don't think I can say anything that will even remotely help except that you deserve happiness.

(hug)

 

[Ladysphinx]

I'm soooo sorry Callie. This must be so hard to take this step. I can't think of anything to say either but I'm always here if you want to PM me and spill your cuts about what ever. I might have nothing to say but I can listen which I think I'm pretty good at.