The odd one out.

[ShybutHi]

The days get lonelier and lonelier... It is true what people say, that you can have all the friend's in the world but still feel lonely. Maybe there are others on the forum with a similar situation.

I am quite a shy reserved person but I get around a bit being a musician in a band who gig regularly and I know alot of people but I always have been and always am the odd one out. I am never the one to get approached by anyone... No one ever wants to talk to me ever, I have had praise for playing the guitar in my band and from other people over the years but 99% of these people didnt even talk to me, they mention it to my friend's. Even my close friend's (I have known 90% of them for almost a decade) rarely try and spark conversation with me. I can bring up a subject and have a conversation with people but no one ever want's to initiate a conversation with me in the first place. Friend's never want to visit me either, it is always the other way around.

I must stress this isnt just me wanting attention and I am not a bad person either, infact I have been told by some people that I am the nicest guy they have ever met. I would never hurt a soul except in defence, I do thing's for people all the time without hesitation, have alot of interest's, especially music, am open minded and find beauty in nature and art. Still though it is like people could care less if I was there. I may aswell be a ghost just wandering through life.

When it comes to relationships... well that is just a joke part of my life. I have no chance being ugly, shy and seemingly unapproachable no matter how much I desire having someone close... Someone to share things with and experience life with. I have no relationship experience and am generally not very good with women.


I now ponder what the point is in me even being alive anymore. It certainly seems like everyone could care less if I was here or not. I bet if I ended my life you could give it a week and I would not even be in people's thought's anymore. Interest's start to seem pointless in persuing as the days go on and any zest for life is fading. Is there really any point if you are going to be alone for your whole life... Atleast ending it would mean I would not get so much stress as I am stressed out 99% of the time due to my mind wanting to torture me 24/7.

 

[Sci-Fi]

We wear our emotions, if this is how you feel people could pick up on it and that is why they may not approach you right away. Plus being a guitarist it seems to kind of come with the territory that you're the loner. Don't believe me, take a look around, look at how society depicts the guitarist in a band, he's usually the long haired stoned loner that everyone wants to be but don't talk to, unless it's a girl then she's depicted as a strong awesome chick that everyone wants to hang out. You're a victim of your environment and how society has stigmatized it over the years.

I dunno, you seem interesting to me but I used to play guitar when I was a kid so there is a common thread there.

Maybe you need a change of venue, get out where no one knows you and experiment.