This Relationship

[Blue_Eyed_Symphony]

I'm 18 dating a 24 year old. Thing is that all of his life he has been sheltered and I've lived a life of Hell. It really irritates me when he judges everything. Excuse me! He grew up in a house with a loving family, he just doesn't get me. Today he got mad at me for something that was HIS idea. I just don't know what to do. Sorry that I didn't have the privileges he had. Sick of the comments! Grrrrrr

 

[Tiina63]

I sypmathise with you deeply. It hurts when someone we are supposed to be close to doesn't get us. I guess when someone has been fortunate enough to have such a good start in life as your boyfriend has had, it is very hard for them to imagine how it feels when you haven't had the same good fortune. I guess you have to decide if the good in the relationship outweighs the bad. I couldn't be happy with someone who judges me constantly and who can't find any empathy, but it is your decision to make. I do hope that, whatever you decide, you find the happiness and peace of mind you long for.

 

[Stranger]

Sorry you have to go through this. I've also met people who were sheltered, who live in their little happy "bubbles" and don't really understand what those who are not so lucky are up against... If your boyfriend is smart, he'll eventually understand! Just keep exposing him to your world a little bit at a time, and eventually he'll get it. As an extreme measure, take him on a volunteering trip to a 3rd World country!!! Those can be real eye-openers. If he still doesn't get it and continues to judge you, then maybe he's not the right person for you in the first place! I'm a little surprised to hear that he has this kind of attitude at age 24 - usually by that time people lose their innocence and either develop empathy, or become consciously selfish ("I'm focusing on me, not responsible for others"). Is he still living with his parents? At 18, many wonderful guys your age are still single, don't tie your life to this person unless you're absolutely sure about him! Good luck!

 

[Hoffy]

Have you tried telling him you don't appreciate his comments and try explaining to him why? Have you asked him why he does this?

 

[LoneKiller]

You have my sympathies. He has a "Holier Than Though" attitude. You deserve the same damn respect from him that he expects from you. The trick is to stand up to him and knock him off his pedestal by telling him flat out that you won't tolerate that kind of ******** in a relationship. You deserve respect and a happy life. Not being judged by someone who thinks they are all that and a bag of chips.

 

[floffyschneeman]

Hello, to start off, I'm sorry that you having this kind of problems with your bf. Though I agree with the others, I think it's also good to understand how your bf thinks. Since he can't understand fully your part, he may probably have different opinions he may spit bluntly. But the thing is, it could also be that he didn't mean to get you offended. It's just he fails to grasp your side. It may also be better if you let him understand as well. Be patient with him as every relationship needs that. Come to think of it, you have an advantage than him in a sense that you are exposed to the reality of life and that your character is built with those ''realities'' It may give you an edge, a strength and a bit more flexibility to battle life than people who were sheltered. It's hard being sheltered as well, cos eventually, their happy bubbles will break (and if not in the most considerate way) they may not know how to cope with life's ''reality'' and would break as persons, break beyond repair. But if you are continually having the same problems, I guess you should think about your relationship, if it's worth fighting for. In the end, partners are meant to understand us when no one can't. Good luck

 

[Gutted]

I feel your pain. This tends to be the situation with me and probably always will be. I personally have developed this overwhelming stubbornness and sense of pride. If I were you, I'd try and talk with him about your past and life style. I'd try to educate him. If that didn't work I'd tell him to either deal with me or go and find someone more suited to his oh so perfect tastes.

 

[Blue_Eyed_Symphony]

Thank guys for your perspectives. It helped me a lot.