today

[duff]

is December 1st and I always remember this day.

It was 1986 a long time ago, I had my first rejection of sorts. The back story was I developed this crush on this lass at school. We talked a bit, I was rather shy then. I wanted to ask her out but of course I knew pretty well that she wasn't interested in me.

So it wasn't nice, I told this friend and he went and told her. I remember ringing her up and leaving a message with her Mother. The next day she ignored me and started talking about her 'new boyfriend'

So I left school pretty miserable but still 'in love' with her. I didn't get a job so I started jogging to pass the time. On this particular day 1st December 1986, I was coming home after my run. I was walking along not doing much. I looked up and there she was stood at this bustop with her friend. She was pointing at me and laughing. (not a little, laughing really hard), I stopped not knowing what to do. I carried on walking and kept my head down.

It upset me for a long time. I thought it was a ****** thing to do, laughing at someone like that. I never saw her again and she eventually drifted from my thoughts. But on this day I do think about what happened. It was my first disaster, the first of many. It started everything off, loads of other stories since then all bad. Not many good ones. Nothing really. Twenty six years ago, it might as well be today !

 

[SophiaGrace]

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

 

[duff]

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

thanks, I'm okay really. It's funny what you remember. All the bad stuff. I can't remember the days when I got a job or something good happened.

 

[monkeysocks]

Kids can be so cruel, girls worse than boys I believe. Think that was a rotten thing to do to you.

But hey ! you are so much more worthy a person than she would ever be !

 

[grainofrice24]

Sad story big guy. Sorry for your hurt and the bad memories. I hope that tomorrow you meet the perfect woman - that way December 1st won't be a bad memory, it'll be 2 days before one of the best days of your life.

Beers on me pal!

 

[duff]

Kids can be so cruel, girls worse than boys I believe. Think that was a rotten thing to do to you.

But hey ! you are so much more worthy a person than she would ever be !

she was 17. Never seen her again, she doesn't seem to be on facebook or friends reunited.

Now I would have said something, I wouldn't have walked past with my head down.

---

Sad story big guy. Sorry for your hurt and the bad memories. I hope that tomorrow you meet the perfect woman - that way December 1st won't be a bad memory, it'll be 2 days before one of the best days of your life.

Beers on me pal!

Ive had all sorts of crap happened to me regarding women but that was the first thing and that's why I remember it.

Thanks for your kind words.

 

[OnlyMe]

Hi Duff,

I can certainly relate and unfortunately these sort of experiences just seem to stay with you.

When I was in my early 20's I used to use ICQ / MSN etc..
I remember chatting with a woman and she asked for a photo of me and this was back when I was at my heaviest weight around 300lbs

When I sent her the photo her first response was 'Oh my god is that really you' and when I replied of course it is she just laughed or (LOL'd) and then disappeared.

It was a completely nasty and un-neccessary response from her, however I did use it for motivation to lose weight and ended up losing 34kgs in 9 months.

I also still remember when I was around 11 years old (late 1980's) and we played 'spin the bottle' at school in a classroom during a lunch break.

There was a girl that I liked and i'll never forget how when the bottle landed on her and I and we were supposed to kiss her first response was to say 'yuck' which was pretty embarrassing in front of a group of other kids.

These type of events can have a long lasting effect on a persons self esteem and confidence.

All the best for the future.

 

[duff]

Hi Duff,

I can certainly relate and unfortunately these sort of experiences just seem to stay with you.

When I was in my early 20's I used to use ICQ / MSN etc..
I remember chatting with a woman and she asked for a photo of me and this was back when I was at my heaviest weight around 300lbs

When I sent her the photo her first response was 'Oh my god is that really you' and when I replied of course it is she just laughed or (LOL'd) and then disappeared.

It was a completely nasty and un-neccessary response from her, however I did use it for motivation to lose weight and ended up losing 34kgs in 9 months.

I also still remember when I was around 11 years old (late 1980's) and we played 'spin the bottle' at school in a classroom during a lunch break.

There was a girl that I liked and i'll never forget how when the bottle landed on her and I and we were supposed to kiss her first response was to say 'yuck' which was pretty embarrassing in front of a group of other kids.

These type of events can have a long lasting effect on a persons self esteem and confidence.

All the best for the future.

yes your right. I haven't got anything to cling to - something that was good - that is the problem.

I have all these stories / events in my head that I remember. There is one I remember so vividly. It was in December 1980 (a few days after John Lennon got shot !) and it was the last day of school before we broke up for xmas. We had this school disco in the afternoon, they played 'strawberry fields forever' as a tribute to John Lennon and they also played something by The Sex Pistols. There was maybe 60 kids there, the whole year, boys sat at one end, girls opposite.

Anyway to encourage people to get up and dance, the teachers chose one girl and one boy and they danced to the first record. When it finished, the boy and girl whould chose another partner so they would be 4 dancing to the next record. I remember sitting there waiting to get picked.

The songs went on and at the end I didn't get picked. My mind says I was the only one, maybe there was a couple others lads at the back but I don't know. I was 12 and it was the first indication of what my life would be like. It didn't hurt that much at the time but over the years I have thought about it. Half of me thinks I should 'try', the other half knows I have no chance and it isn't going to happen.

It's not like my life is utter **** because it isn't, I enjoy my life, it could be alot worse.

But yes some people can be nasty, some women can be.

 

[The Good Citizen]

You'd like to think in a perfect world that she looks back and regrets it too for being so harsh, its nearly always born from feeling awkward too, we don't know how to react so we go on the offensive. That stuff can stay with you though for sure.

Childhood memories you'd rather forget..Well I remember going on a French trip aged 11 in the first year of senior school and not realising you had to pay to use the public toilets and having spent all my money on cokes I had to get on the coach as it was about to leave. So I fell asleep and nature took its course and I woke up soaked through. The lad sat next to me (who is now my son's God father actually) said you better tell the teacher (god knows why).

So as we were getting off I told her and she just sighed and shouted out in front of our coach and the whole of the girl's school coach "Has anyone got a spare pair of trousers as Matthew has wet himself?"...well my little soul just withered and died at that point, all the kids from both my school and the girl school burst out laughing and pointed.

Never did live that down, all the way through school I'd walk in a classroom to"pissssssss". So yeah thanks Miss Bloore, you cretin!

To be honest it just makes me chuckle now and I got used to it, but at the time that was pretty devastating.

 

[duff]

You'd like to think in a perfect world that she looks back and regrets it too for being so harsh, its nearly always born from feeling awkward too, we don't know how to react so we go on the offensive. That stuff can stay with you though for sure.

Childhood memories you'd rather forget..Well I remember going on a French trip aged 11 in the first year of senior school and not realising you had to pay to use the public toilets and having spent all my money on cokes I had to get on the coach as it was about to leave. So I fell asleep and nature took its course and I woke up soaked through. The lad sat next to me (who is now my son's God father actually) said you better tell the teacher (god knows why).

So as we were getting off I told her and she just sighed and shouted out in front of our coach and the whole of the girl's school coach "Has anyone got a spare pair of trousers as Matthew has wet himself?"...well my little soul just withered and died at that point, all the kids from both my school and the girl school burst out laughing and pointed.

Never did live that down, all the way through school I'd walk in a classroom to"pissssssss". So yeah thanks Miss Bloore, you cretin!

To be honest it just makes me chuckle now and I got used to it, but at the time that was pretty devastating.

that sounds horrible !

---

I wasn't bullied at school, no worse than anybody else.

But when I got to 16 things changed. I suppose it was when I become interested in girls. And the whole drinking culture started. I didn't like drinking so it made me an outcast to start with. It took 5 years but it slowly dawned on me that women didn't like me. They liked the guy stood next to me instead.

 

[floffyschneeman]

It's worth to remember the good stuff and the good people who came in your life rather the ones which only gave you bad memories to dwell on. She may just had a phase of immaturity back then, she may have learned her lesson now, she may or may not, but what is important is it's in the past. We are all jerks at least once in our lives but I think there's always room for forgiveness for others and for ourselves. I'm sorry it happened to you... but I would suggest to let it drift from your memories and instead remember those who are worth remembering.

 

[duff]

It's worth to remember the good stuff and the good people who came in your life rather the ones which only gave you bad memories to dwell on. She may just had a phase of immaturity back then, she may have learned her lesson now, she may or may not, but what is important is it's in the past. We are all jerks at least once in our lives but I think there's always room for forgiveness for others and for ourselves. I'm sorry it happened to you... but I would suggest to let it drift from your memories and instead remember those who are worth remembering.

it's not like always on my mind, I'm not obsessed by it. But I do remember the date (December 1st) and I think about it on that date. She was my first crush as well.

Good stuff does happen but I think we are less likely to want to discuss it on here. This is for writing about problems / bad stuff.

 

[floffyschneeman]

it's not like always on my mind, I'm not obsessed by it. But I do remember the date (December 1st) and I think about it on that date. She was my first crush as well.

Good stuff does happen but I think we are less likely to want to discuss it on here. This is for writing about problems / bad stuff.

I don't mean to say that you are obsessed about it... just that 26 years is a lot of years to remember something that only gives you heart aches and bad memories.

Yes, this section is for the problems/bad stuff as you mentioned, but replies don't have to be of bad experience as well. I just think that bad things happen for you to learn something about and then move forward from it.

It's very easy to drive ourselves towards feeling hate after remembering bad stuff that happened in our lives. A lot have shared their bad memories and a lot have shown empathy, still, I think what I said must be said.

 

[duff]

it's not like always on my mind, I'm not obsessed by it. But I do remember the date (December 1st) and I think about it on that date. She was my first crush as well.

Good stuff does happen but I think we are less likely to want to discuss it on here. This is for writing about problems / bad stuff.

I don't mean to say that you are obsessed about it... just that 26 years is a lot of years to remember something that only gives you heart aches and bad memories.

Yes, this section is for the problems/bad stuff as you mentioned, but replies don't have to be of bad experience as well. I just think that bad things happen for you to learn something about and then move forward from it.

It's very easy to drive ourselves towards feeling hate after remembering bad stuff that happened in our lives. A lot have shared their bad memories and a lot have shown empathy, still, I think what I said must be said.

i think about bad things because good things haven't happened.
Not really anyway. I remember I went to the cinema with this woman from work. I was 33 at the time. It was friends because she was married. It was a big thing for me at the time, a woman willing to spend a few hours with me. That is something good. And when you think about it, it's not 'that' good is it ? I mean other people fall in love or have kids or get married. There's me getting all excited because I went to the pictures with somebody.

Things have moved on since then but only slightly.

 

[jetsuo]

find her on facebook and ask her what she was playing at

 

[duff]

find her on facebook and ask her what she was playing at

she's not on it !

I did think about sending her a xmas card but forgot about it. Too late now !

Her mother comes into my shop and I talk to her all the time. I do ask her about her daughter. She was very surprized when I told her we hadn't spoken to each other for 3 years !