too good to be true - I was right !

[putter65]

Went out with her last night. She had just finished work and was tired and grumpy. It wasn't great, she started crying at one point. We didn't have a meal, just chatted. She cheered up at the end and liked this little gift I had for her and spoke of future meetings.

When I got in the mutual friend who introduced us rang me up. She said there was something I should know. She told me after seeing me (the first time) this woman met this other guy, spent the weekend at his place. (They obviously slept together I suppose) - the mutual friend has fallen out with her and was very critical about the woman I went out with.

I'm not upset or heartbroken. She did lie to me about this guy because he was on her facebook and she said he was this random guy who she didn't know. I'm bothered about how rude she was to me on the date on several occasions. Very picky and complaining because I couldn't remember every single thing she said to me on the first date. I know she was tired but mmm I didn't like it.

Not sure what to do from here.

 

[silver birch leaves]

I'd try to talk to her to get clarification on what has been going on. It's better to hear it from her than to rely on someone else's account.

 

[floffyschneeman]

I'd try to talk to her to get clarification on what has been going on. It's better to hear it from her than to rely on someone else's account.

I agree, there are always two sides of every story. It would be unfair for her if you immediately make up your mind about her. If this dude whom she had hooked up with meant something to her, I don't think there would be a second date after your first. Kind of too much hassle to go through a date for an entire night if she is just toying with you. What's in it for her? free meal? (hmm)

 

[putter65]

I'd try to talk to her to get clarification on what has been going on. It's better to hear it from her than to rely on someone else's account.

I agree, there are always two sides of every story. It would be unfair for her if you immediately make up your mind about her. If this dude whom she had hooked up with meant something to her, I don't think there would be a second date after your first. Kind of too much hassle to go through a date for an entire night if she is just toying with you. What's in it for her? free meal? (hmm)

We didn't eat and it was only a couple of hours. When she was complaining about been tired, I did suggest that she could go home and we don't go out. But she said 'no' to that. On the way home she kept saying how much she enjoyed it.

I did think she was seeing other men, she mentioned she had joined dating sites on the internet and saw some guys. She's never said we are an item and I don't consider her to be my girlfriend. Not yet anyway.

I'm not going to cut all contact with her or treat her any different. She did say 'don't get upset if I can't see you more often' - so she isn't lying about that. With her job and her kids, she hasn't got the time.

With regards to her been a bit off, she was tired and had not had a coffee all day so I suppose that explains how cranky she was. I won't be happy if she continues with it though.

The one thing about is; she is willing to meet me and spend some time with me. This co worker just seems to be all talk and never does anything.

 

[kamya]

I don't like it either. Sounds like bad news

 

[Sci-Fi]

Wouldn't write her off just yet, but wouldn't put a lot of effort into her either. Sounds like you might end up in the friend zone. She seems to enjoy your company somewhat so even with a cranky woman you were doing something right. That's a good thing.

 

[putter65]

Wouldn't write her off just yet, but wouldn't put a lot of effort into her either. Sounds like you might end up in the friend zone. She seems to enjoy your company somewhat so even with a cranky woman you were doing something right. That's a good thing.

The good thing is I don't have strong feelings for her. When I got told about the other guy I felt nothing. No feelings of getting kicked in the nuts. I do care for her though and when she started crying I held her hand.

There seems to be so many women at the moment ! lol

The one I go out with (See above)

This flirty co worker who I asked out and she never got back to me. She sends me texts quite often but never seems to want to meet up.

This woman I used to work. I did have strong feelings for her but not anymore. We have met up to play golf a few times but she has let me down so many times, I had given her up as a lost cause. She came onto facebook yesterday to chat and was upset because I was a bit distant with her. She wants to meet up for a coffee and a chat on Friday, and she wants to play golf again.

This other co worker. She is leaving soon and she's one of my best friends at work. I have always liked her but never told her. I tell her everything about all the above women and she is very helpfull. Yesterday she suggested meeting up for a coffee and a chat. She's never done that before.

I think that's it ! lol

 

[DreamerDeceiver]

I'm sorry to hear about it. I have followed your posts and everything seemed like a good story from the beginning, and you sounded happy for a change. Yes, I hate all of that business about suspicious minds and secrets being kept out of sight by a woman you want to trust; it is but one of the reasons why I fear being in a relationship. All the fear, lies, and jealousy can really eat you up in the end, sometimes you end up imagining the worst. I really don't know how I could deal with a girl like that from how you describe her. If it were me, I would just drop it and go it alone for a while, maybe get an aquarium of fish and settle down. Though you could still chose to be friends with her if you say you're not truly heartbroken. I also wouldn't be too quick to abandon her and take everything your friend told you literally. Talk to her.

 

[putter65]

I'm sorry to hear about it. I have followed your posts and everything seemed like a good story from the beginning, and you sounded happy for a change. Yes, I hate all of that business about suspicious minds and secrets being kept out of sight by a woman you want to trust; it is but one of the reasons why I fear being in a relationship. All the fear, lies, and jealousy can really eat you up in the end, sometimes you end up imagining the worst. I really don't know how I could deal with a girl like that from how you describe her. If it were me, I would just drop it and go it alone for a while, maybe get an aquarium of fish and settle down. Though you could still chose to be friends with her if you say you're not truly heartbroken. I also wouldn't be too quick to abandon her and take everything your friend told you literally. Talk to her.

Thanks for that.

No I'm not heartbroken, not the slightest bit upset really which is good.

I'll just see what happens next. She obviously is seeing a few men and is deciding who she likes best. I don't think that's uncommon. I do want to see her again though.

I've just had a coffee with this woman who I used to work with. I used to be so much in love with her but now it's different. I enjoyed our coffee and chat though, I told her about my dates and what's happened. She didn't comment that much. I do like her still but it's nowhere near as much as it used to be.

 

[putter65]

She's just sent me a text asking me out and also said 'sorry' for been so grumpy.