Toxic Games Some Women Play.

[CenotaphGirl]

Sooo yes, as usual I like to delve into the world of men, why some of them are so ******* evil, however, from time to time, I also like to flip the script.
I like to explore women, and their toxic traits, some of which I do myself. This is not an open dialogue to tell me how horrible I am, I already know...
It's a path to self discovery, a journey, in which I identify toxic traits, I hope to change... one day. Let's walk down this path together.

The I am always right game

So inspired by a comment a man wrote on here, I realised that yes, I play the I am always right game.
I can be a total *****, start loads of drama, and expect a man to fall on the sword to prove he loves me.
It's a sick game, so why do I keep playing it? If he refuses, I tell him, he wont fight for me, he doesn't love me.
It's not like I am telling him that in hopes of manipulation, it's what I truly think. If you loved me, you'd let me win.

The threesome trap

One of my staples, I offer the guy I am with a threesome, in hopes he proves to me that he is a dog like all the rest.
Not trying to kink shame, but I think this game is important to know if he loves me. I think it also comes from a place of insecurity,
Do you want me? Or my friends? Or am I good enough for it to just be an "us"?

The will he chase me game

If I say, hey look, im done, dont message me, and he doesn't message me all day, he won, I am his. If he messages me, he lost.
I want a strong man, and also a man who respects my right to say im done and actually lets me go. If he fails this test, he will never, ever, hear from me again.


So there are some of the games, do you think we need games and tests in order to vet? Is this just simple manipulation ? I just don't know anymore.
The first step is realising you do something, the second step is evaluating why, and the third step is to try and make a positive change.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Just ask yourself if you would like to be treated the ways you describe.

Under certain circumstances, I could see where some one may have good cause to do such things.

If I was a multi-millionaire, I may conduct my dating business in a certain fashion to try and avoid women who were purely after me for my money; though, I'd have to take into consideration that, nearly everyone is subject to a change, when large sums of money are involved. If I make a mistake in my, 'test,' I miss a good one or gain a bad one. I may harbor grudges against women in general as well, so perhaps I would just lead them on, so I could crush them with rejection.

When you are testing some one, you aren't really there; but, then again, maybe they aren't there either.

All of that falls under trust, and having trust issues makes it difficult to maintain relationships.

---aside from all that...

This word, 'toxic,' needs to go. It's too over-used and doesn't really have any substance. People can be cold. People can be cruel. People can be manipulative. People can be mean. People can be insensitive. People can be harsh. People can be violent. People can be untruthful. People can be misleading.

What are some synonyms for toxic? Caustic, poisonous, noxious...

It's important that the language we use, conveys meaning and substance. If I say I saw something red, it could be anything. It could be a red apple, a red ball, a red...

There is merit to saying a lot with a little; but, the word toxic, these days, says barely anything at all, if even that. It's a word designed to activate a person's sense of psychological disgust (if one subscribes to that psychology.) A buzz word. And buzz words, in general, are usually packed with hidden motives.

Anywho..

---end rant

 

[TheRealCallie]

I often say I'm always right, but....in a sarcastic way. lol I certainly don't mean it and will fully admit when I'm wrong.

Of course it's just manipulation. Vet them, if you feel you must, but don't use games to do it. But honestly, it's more a matter of trial and error than getting anything concrete from "tests."


But yes, it's good to know what you are doing and to identify them. I try not to pull the manipulation **** anymore because of how often it's been done to me....and yes, I've done it in the past. It is about learning and growing and it's a long hard road getting away from it. (Though, I would like to mention that men do these things too)

 

[user 139760]

I dunno what women you've been dating, kid. The only bad thing I can say about women is they were stupid enough to date me.

Interesting thing I read ; "prove that he loves me". If I'm seeing someone and I feel she's doing that, it won't last long. I'll go out of my way to prove the opposite. I like real, upfront, honest, sincere. Playing games can be done out of my yard.

 

[M_also_lonely]

Since women are generally the choosers, they take these types of 'tests' in attempt to ensure that the man is not emotionally weak. I think there is nothing toxic about it "in most cases", its a necessary part of the selection process.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Since women are generally the choosers, they take these types of 'tests' in attempt to ensure that the man is not emotionally weak. I think there is nothing toxic about it "in most cases", its a necessary part of the selection process.

It's not necessary. Too many people over complicate things, and then wonder why things don't seem to work out.

 

[9006]

Not really a fan of "games" like these, I mean I can understand why some women play them, but I'd prefer to cut all the BS and talk about it, instead.

It's not necessary. Too many people over complicate things, and then wonder why things don't seem to work out.

This is right, too. I'd prefer to communicate things than jumping through hoops.

 

[user 135671]

When you meet a girl ( or guy ) and you notice she/he likes playing games WALK THE F**K AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK!

Some people feel comfortable playing games and making you wait around. Walk away and they cannot believe it. It either blows their minds or they will just move on to the next guy/gal and start the games all over again. Its ridiculous.

 

[Claudia1794]

I think that some young people while trying to figure things out sometimes do stupid **** that at the time makes sense. Its all part of experiencing life and learning. These things listed are not the games. If anything they are the strategies to playing the game and poor ones at that.

 

[Finished]

View attachment 6342

Nice Charles Angels type background image.

The I am always right game

So inspired by a comment a man wrote on here, I realised that yes, I play the I am always right game.
I can be a total *****, start loads of drama, and expect a man to fall on the sword to prove he loves me.
It's a sick game, so why do I keep playing it? If he refuses, I tell him, he wont fight for me, he doesn't love me.
It's not like I am telling him that in hopes of manipulation, it's what I truly think. If you loved me, you'd let me win.

That's just game playing. If I loved you I would either let you win or not let you win, which ever you wanted. But, if you wanted me to figure out what you really want and not what you say you want then that would be a problem because you may not want to hear me say what you really want and then try to make me feel bad about it.

The threesome trap

One of my staples, I offer the guy I am with a threesome, in hopes he proves to me that he is a dog like all the rest.
Not trying to kink shame, but I think this game is important to know if he loves me. I think it also comes from a place of insecurity,
Do you want me? Or my friends? Or am I good enough for it to just be an "us"?

As a guy, I want you, your friends, your sisters, your friend's friends and their sisters probably even all of their moms. I want all the hot women! **** I guess I would flunk that test. But, if you never asked I would always be 100% faithful to you and only you.

The will he chase me game

If I say, hey look, im done, dont message me, and he doesn't message me all day, he won, I am his. If he messages me, he lost.
I want a strong man, and also a man who respects my right to say im done and actually lets me go. If he fails this test, he will never, ever, hear from me again.

I've flunk this test many times. If someone says don't then I don't out of my respect for their decision. IMO, respect is number one. Women have done this to me many times. But they wanted me to not take no for an answer. They thought I made them feel not worth fight for. See how easy it is to get things confused?

So there are some of the games, do you think we need games and tests in order to vet? Is this just simple manipulation ? I just don't know anymore.
The first step is realising you do something, the second step is evaluating why, and the third step is to try and make a positive change.

Games, absolutely not. Tests definitely. People say what and how they want to be, not as how they really are. So, you have to first, take them at their word. Then you have to test them without them realizing it's a test. But, it needs to be a real life test in a real life situation when they are under pressure. That's the only way to find out how they will actually react. Many times they will fold like a cheap lawn chair.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Wow, so many detailed replies I am a lucky girl!
So let me dust off my fingertips and see what I can learn.

Just ask yourself if you would like to be treated the ways you describe.

Under certain circumstances, I could see where some one may have good cause to do such things.

If I was a multi-millionaire, I may conduct my dating business in a certain fashion to try and avoid women who were purely after me for my money; though, I'd have to take into consideration that, nearly everyone is subject to a change, when large sums of money are involved. If I make a mistake in my, 'test,' I miss a good one or gain a bad one. I may harbor grudges against women in general as well, so perhaps I would just lead them on, so I could crush them with rejection.

When you are testing some one, you aren't really there; but, then again, maybe they aren't there either.

All of that falls under trust, and having trust issues makes it difficult to maintain relationships.

---aside from all that...

This word, 'toxic,' needs to go. It's too over-used and doesn't really have any substance. People can be cold. People can be cruel. People can be manipulative. People can be mean. People can be insensitive. People can be harsh. People can be violent. People can be untruthful. People can be misleading.

What are some synonyms for toxic? Caustic, poisonous, noxious...

It's important that the language we use, conveys meaning and substance. If I say I saw something red, it could be anything. It could be a red apple, a red ball, a red...

There is merit to saying a lot with a little; but, the word toxic, these days, says barely anything at all, if even that. It's a word designed to activate a person's sense of psychological disgust (if one subscribes to that psychology.) A buzz word. And buzz words, in general, are usually packed with hidden motives.

Anywho..

---end rant

I like that there is an understanding element, to maybe why these games are done and appropriate causes. It's funny as I cant help but to call men out on things, despite this being about toxic or poisonous women if you will... The reaction of men making tests and games for women to discern if they just want their money is often looked at as fair play... not toxic at all.. I wonder why that is?

I often say I'm always right, but....in a sarcastic way. lol I certainly don't mean it and will fully admit when I'm wrong.

Of course it's just manipulation. Vet them, if you feel you must, but don't use games to do it. But honestly, it's more a matter of trial and error than getting anything concrete from "tests."


But yes, it's good to know what you are doing and to identify them. I try not to pull the manipulation **** anymore because of how often it's been done to me....and yes, I've done it in the past. It is about learning and growing and it's a long hard road getting away from it. (Though, I would like to mention that men do these things too)

You know Callie, I like to know that I am wrong and well my partner will even let me discover that I am wrong in a caring way, if it's she's wrong, im right, she can either admit it or I will argue with her.... I just don't like that mindset. I want my partner to say "I dont care who's right, lets just drop this"...

I dunno what women you've been dating, kid. The only bad thing I can say about women is they were stupid enough to date me.

Interesting thing I read ; "prove that he loves me". If I'm seeing someone and I feel she's doing that, it won't last long. I'll go out of my way to prove the opposite. I like real, upfront, honest, sincere. Playing games can be done out of my yard.

Honestly, I am used to men saying things they would not do... but I have never encountered a man who would not play my games, but... you know what they say about Canadian men... They really do not like games lool

Since women are generally the choosers, they take these types of 'tests' in attempt to ensure that the man is not emotionally weak. I think there is nothing toxic about it "in most cases", its a necessary part of the selection process.

This is such a unique perspective, honestly a part of me knows im super toxic, because I wouldn't be able to take these games, I am too crazy lmao But maybe thats it, I want man man to have the mental strength I lack... Idk.

It's not necessary. Too many people over complicate things, and then wonder why things don't seem to work out.

Yeah, but if it doesn't work out then, the games are "working", and thats the issue. It's kind of like a lose lose.

Not really a fan of "games" like these, I mean I can understand why some women play them, but I'd prefer to cut all the BS and talk about it, instead.

This is right, too. I'd prefer to communicate things than jumping through hoops.

I like the jumping through hoops analogy, I don't know why I found that so funny.

When you meet a girl ( or guy ) and you notice she/he likes playing games WALK THE F**K AWAY AND NEVER LOOK BACK!

Some people feel comfortable playing games and making you wait around. Walk away and they cannot believe it. It either blows their minds or they will just move on to the next guy/gal and start the games all over again. Its ridiculous.

This is very true, the only way to truly win the game, is to never ever look back. However, if you think leaving will blow their mind you are still playing the game. I can assure you, it will not blow the real toxic woman mind, she will just chalk him up to being unworthy and not a real man... and move on. If you walk away, it has to be because you just dont wanna even think about what's going on inside her sick brain.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I think that some young people while trying to figure things out sometimes do stupid **** that at the time makes sense. Its all part of experiencing life and learning. These things listed are not the games. If anything they are the strategies to playing the game and poor ones at that.

Right, this is a very interesting perspective to me, so you think potentially its not toxic, it's just a part of a learning curve?

Nice Charles Angels type background image.

That's just game playing. If I loved you I would either let you win or not let you win, which ever you wanted. But, if you wanted me to figure out what you really want and not what you say you want then that would be a problem because you may not want to hear me say what you really want and then try to make me feel bad about it.

As a guy, I want you, your friends, your sisters, your friend's friends and their sisters probably even all of their moms. I want all the hot women! **** I guess I would flunk that test. But, if you never asked I would always be 100% faithful to you and only you.

I've flunk this test many times. If someone says don't then I don't out of my respect for their decision. IMO, respect is number one. Women have done this to me many times. But they wanted me to not take no for an answer. They thought I made them feel not worth fight for. See how easy it is to get things confused?

Games, absolutely not. Tests definitely. People say what and how they want to be, not as how they really are. So, you have to first, take them at their word. Then you have to test them without them realizing it's a test. But, it needs to be a real life test in a real life situation when they are under pressure. That's the only way to find out how they will actually react. Many times they will fold like a cheap lawn chair.

Oh my Finished darling you are too good for this world! Your responses always have me in stitches, sooo let me see.

So here's my issue, I dont tell men what I expect from them, they need to know. If I tell them, it feels like submission from them. Thus, turning me off them. See the issue Finished?

Lool many many many men flunk the threesome test lol I have only met one man who has not flunked the threesome test, but flunking it works too, as now I feel uglier and want to be with him even more lmao.

Right, see, women will differ on this, if a man keeps chasing me, I will also look at that as submission, I want my place understood, many men will pretend to understand what I want, but this test... this ensures he is real and has some level of self respect. I want to run back to him (see the submission?) I dont want him running to me...

 

[Cherubino]

you look great

 

[user 135671]

if you think leaving will blow their mind you are still playing the game. I can assure you,

It all comes down to confidence. I think a lot of guys aren't sure what confidence is. My description of confidence is being fine without a woman.

When that one girl that thought I'd never walk off found out I did because she wasn't playing her cards right, it stripped her of any power she thought she had over me. That's a good feeling and I hope others will use the power of "walking away."

It is a power naturally bestowed upon an attractive woman, and they think they are the only elite group that has it. If you utilize this same power that you DO have, she will see that you have the same if not better "weapons" than she does.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

you look great

Focus Cherubinooo Focus

It all comes down to confidence. I think a lot of guys aren't sure what confidence is. My description of confidence is being fine without a woman.

When that one girl that thought I'd never walk off found out I did because she wasn't playing her cards right, it stripped her of any power she thought she had over me. That's a good feeling and I hope others will use the power of "walking away."

It is a power naturally bestowed upon an attractive woman, and they think they are the only elite group that has it. If you utilize this same power that you DO have, she will see that you have the same if not better "weapons" than she does.

RandomGuyyy people are watching! this just makes me swoooooooonnnnnn lolz show your masculine powerrrrr

 

[ardour]

Not a fan, particularly of the last, as it degrades the entire relationship down to a game and an ego boost. Someone who would pretend to end things only to come back a few days later would get permanent silence from me. No way would I invest anything further. You don't do that to someone.

Low investment types who move on quickly would "win" at that.

 

[Claudia1794]

Right, this is a very interesting perspective to me, so you think potentially its not toxic, it's just a part of a learning curve?

Sure it could be "toxic" for anyone who would put up with it for an extended amount of time. As for the person doing these silly type things I would think they would mature and grow out of it. Those that don't are either going to always be alone and unhappy or with someone yet still unhappy and making some poor soul miserable with them. I was just saying that some people recognize that this type of **** is self serving and one can't always be self serving when another person is involved. You can phrase it anyway you want but I'm a simple girl. Besides most people can recognize a needy self serving person and should know to stay the **** away. There is always a game or a test with people like this. I mean I've been told I'm toxic but Ive never done childish **** like this.
l

 

[VanillaCreme]

@CenotaphGirl If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out, and that's fine. There's absolutely no reason to actually play games with people. And sorry for not quoting my reply to you. The new quoting system confuses me and I'm old, dagnabit.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Due toooo the PM's I just want to add something... I honestly think the reason why I have never found a man who wouldn't play my toxic games is simply because I am not toxic in other areas, the toxic mindset can hide, hide so well it can even hide from the person starting the games, to the point they do not even realise they are doing it. It takes deep introspection to really recognise the behaviours. I hope anyone reading can identify these games early on, regardless of if they are the person to start them or find themselves caught up with a person that wants to play them.


I have been on both sides of the fence, and I have my reasons or excuses whatever you wanna call them lol The reason why people play these games is not because they are evil or the devils daughter, it comes from a place of unprocessed emotions. I have a lot of unprocessed emotions about men, thus, the perfect candidate for toxic behaviours. What can you do? You can always talk to a counsellor! I hope to be a relationship counsellor in the future so I am intrigued by things like this, remember if you feel triggered please do not read these posts, they are not meant to alarm anyone just explore different opinions, thank you to everyone for being mature around such a delicate subject.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I have been on both sides of the fence, and I have my reasons or excuses whatever you wanna call them lol The reason why people play these games is not because they are evil or the devils daughter, it comes from a place of unprocessed emotions. I have a lot of unprocessed emotions about men, thus, the perfect candidate for toxic behaviours. What can you do? You can always talk to a counsellor! I hope to be a relationship counsellor in the future so I am intrigued by things like this, remember if you feel triggered please do not read these posts, they are not meant to alarm anyone just explore different opinions, thank you to everyone for being mature around such a delicate subject.

That's completely understandable, and put it into a different perspective for me. I don't have any unprocessed feelings or emotions about men or relationships in general. My relationship wasn't perfect, but it was love. It was our love, and I'll always carry that with me. I think when people do process their feelings about things, anything, they start to understand why things happen and don't happen. I think it's easier to accept things, too, when we actually deal with our emotions towards things.