Trying to be positive!!

[LaLoose]

New here and just looking for some advice. Would be amazing if anyone could help!
Ok here's the story. I'm a 23 year old guy with the classic never had a girlfriend story... If your still here thanks!!! So yeah I've never had sex, never kissed a girl, never been in a situation where I felt like a girl even liked me more than a friend. I'm a confident, fun guy (well I guess that's all subjective), and I don't really have a problem talking to girls, it's just I have never experienced what it's like to be more than friends.
Ok here's the problem, I can't take it at all! Self harm is the only way I can deal with this... And it doesn't really work. I feel that the only way for this to stop is to actually have that physical and emotional connection with someone. I'm confident it will happen one day; I try to be positive. But at the moment I have no one and I'm looking at quite a long time before anything happens. I want to be positive! And I am a positive guy. It's just I need something that I can't get and it's killing me...
Is there anyone else in this situation who has any idea how to actually deal with it!!!???!
I'll keep talking to girls, trying to be friendly, no negativity! But secretly this has to end!!!

Thanks!!!

 

[mickey]

How is your level of emotions and your regulation of emotions? When I hear self-harm I tend to automatically think personality disorder--although that might not be fair in your case.

There is also a chance that you fall on the asexual spectrum. Do you feel sexually attracted to the girls you talk to?

 

[Triple Bogey]

New here and just looking for some advice. Would be amazing if anyone could help!
Ok here's the story. I'm a 23 year old guy with the classic never had a girlfriend story... If your still here thanks!!! So yeah I've never had sex, never kissed a girl, never been in a situation where I felt like a girl even liked me more than a friend. I'm a confident, fun guy (well I guess that's all subjective), and I don't really have a problem talking to girls, it's just I have never experienced what it's like to be more than friends.
Ok here's the problem, I can't take it at all! Self harm is the only way I can deal with this... And it doesn't really work. I feel that the only way for this to stop is to actually have that physical and emotional connection with someone. I'm confident it will happen one day; I try to be positive. But at the moment I have no one and I'm looking at quite a long time before anything happens. I want to be positive! And I am a positive guy. It's just I need something that I can't get and it's killing me...
Is there anyone else in this situation who has any idea how to actually deal with it!!!???!
I'll keep talking to girls, trying to be friendly, no negativity! But secretly this has to end!!!

Thanks!!!

Well I would suggest keep on talking to the girlies but try to stop worrying so much about the outcome. Try to keep positive, be happy, enjoy your life, be friendly then if a woman happens to like you then 'great', if not then carry on. Don't ever think the words 'never had a girlfriend', don't think you are wasting your time either.

I know it sounds impossible because all I around you other people are dating and enjoying themselves and you are bound to think 'why not me ?' but there is no answer to that question.

 

[LaLoose]

How is your level of emotions and your regulation of emotions? When I hear self-harm I tend to automatically think personality disorder--although that might not be fair in your case.

There is also a chance that you fall on the asexual spectrum. Do you feel sexually attracted to the girls you talk to?

Well I have had a few mental health problems in the last few years I guess it's all linked together. But I'm getting help with it - finally! - at the moment.
I have considered beinh asexual in the past but I'm defiantly feeling sexual attraction to girls more and more these days. Part of me thinks I don't want to let it it all out and no way to act on it. Plus surly you need a 'partner' to bring out those feelings away.

---

New here and just looking for some advice. Would be amazing if anyone could help!
Ok here's the story. I'm a 23 year old guy with the classic never had a girlfriend story... If your still here thanks!!! So yeah I've never had sex, never kissed a girl, never been in a situation where I felt like a girl even liked me more than a friend. I'm a confident, fun guy (well I guess that's all subjective), and I don't really have a problem talking to girls, it's just I have never experienced what it's like to be more than friends.
Ok here's the problem, I can't take it at all! Self harm is the only way I can deal with this... And it doesn't really work. I feel that the only way for this to stop is to actually have that physical and emotional connection with someone. I'm confident it will happen one day; I try to be positive. But at the moment I have no one and I'm looking at quite a long time before anything happens. I want to be positive! And I am a positive guy. It's just I need something that I can't get and it's killing me...
Is there anyone else in this situation who has any idea how to actually deal with it!!!???!
I'll keep talking to girls, trying to be friendly, no negativity! But secretly this has to end!!!

Thanks!!!

Well I would suggest keep on talking to the girlies but try to stop worrying so much about the outcome. Try to keep positive, be happy, enjoy your life, be friendly then if a woman happens to like you then 'great', if not then carry on. Don't ever think the words 'never had a girlfriend', don't think you are wasting your time either.

I know it sounds impossible because all I around you other people are dating and enjoying themselves and you are bound to think 'why not me ?' but there is no answer to that question.

Thanks!! I dunno had an experience last week where I sort of miss interpreted what a friend had said and sort of thought she was implied she liked me. Just that idea that she might actually like me was like the craziest most amazing feeling I have ever had. But yeah it was all a misunderstanding and now I have to go back to being abstract and now taunted by the knowledge that other people get that kind of feeling on a regular basis. Wow that was a bit dark sorry.