Understanding

[Rosebolt]

Before i start, this might become more of a rant than i have in mind, but i'll keep it civil. If anyone thinks it is, then no, this is not directed to anyone on the forum, or anyone in particular unless stated.

Long have i wondered why it appears to be hard for people to understand each other. I'm mostly talking about quotes such as "I have it worse" "How can this upset you" "Get over it" and, the all time classic "think of the people in Africa and shut up".

This kind of bugs me when it happens in my surrounding, as it simply indicates a lack of social harmony, which seems to be the trend in recent millenia.

To me, understanding is being able to understand what someone else is feeling. Understanding is different from agreeing with, or feeling what another person feels. Therefore, in my eyes, every human being should be able to understand every other human being.

An extreme example. A man murders a woman. The husband of said woman kills the man in revenge. Alot of people somehow cannot comprehend this happening, and say they cannot understand. It's probably more that they won't agree with said action than that they don't understand, or are people really that shallow? It actually wouldn't surprise me if they were, which is the sad part, i suppose.

Then there is the other side, i seem to fail to understand why other people cannot seem to understand basic human reactions to certain events. Since i cannot seem to understand that, that would make me the same. And here is why i disagree on that, i try to understand until i do.

We're all human, none of us are monsters or very much different. Someone is only as different as you picture them to be, just because someone cannot comprehend why another person would do as they do, dress as they dress, speak as they speak, or wathever the hell it is they fail to understand, does not mean that they should outcasted in any way.

This seems to be heading to the general "omg i hate the world" rant, so i'll stop myself here.

Is there anyone who would like to share their opinions or experiences about this?

Thanks for taking the time to read.

 

[Edward W]

There is probably always someone worse of than yourself, however that does not stop the issue you are experiencing/have being a bad thing and deserving of understanding if it is affecting you.

I'm pretty sure at some point everyone has had a bad time because of one thing or another, that issue may not be a big deal to another and vice versa. We are all different but we all suffer at some point and should try and see it from the other persons perspective.

At the least even if we can't understand why they are sad/upset/down etc we should understand simply that they are and do what we can to support/help them.

I have experience of someone suffering from depression, I'd had down times but not depression, so I don't fully understand it, but I did my best to support them.

'Get over it' was NOT the way I did it, and I doubt it's actually helped many people.

Basically I think I'm agreeing with you!

 

[perfanoff]

In short, yes, a lot of people are that shallow.

 

[BrokenInside]

Thats the sadest part of the story that 95/100 times people are judgmental.

 

[Veruca]

I think there are many reasons for people's lack of understanding. Some are ignorant, some just dont care. Maybe some try to avoid it because it stirs up too many bad memories of their own or some folks may just prefer living in their bubble of safety because acknowledging someone else's suffering makes them sad or feel helpless.

But I think close friends and family at least should try to understand. Make an attempt. If you care about someone you would try to empathize with them.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think there are many reasons for people's lack of understanding. Some are ignorant, some just dont care. Maybe some try to avoid it because it stirs up too many bad memories of their own or some folks may just prefer living in their bubble of safety because acknowledging someone else's suffering makes them sad or feel helpless.

But I think close friends and family at least should try to understand. Make an attempt. If you care about someone you would try to empathize with them.

Exactly what Veruca said.

 

[ucxb]

I agree with Veruca and ladyforsaken.

Depending on the situation though some times I just sum it up to other people having their head up their you know whats... and be done with it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I've always been of the opinion that even if we can't always understand why someone seems to suffer over something we/you/they may consider trivial, a person can still have compassion and empathy, even if we lack understanding. Just my two cents.

 

[blackdot]

An extreme example. A man murders a woman. The husband of said woman kills the man in revenge. Alot of people somehow cannot comprehend this happening, and say they cannot understand. It's probably more that they won't agree with said action than that they don't understand, or are people really that shallow? It actually wouldn't surprise me if they were, which is the sad part, i suppose.

I have found that most people do not understand what the word "understand" means.
In the example above, if you were tell most people you understand why the man killed the other man, they would look at you in horror and say, "you agree that the man should have killed the other man!?!?"

I have noticed that most people think that "understand" and "agree with" have the same meaning.

 

[ladyforsaken]

An extreme example. A man murders a woman. The husband of said woman kills the man in revenge. Alot of people somehow cannot comprehend this happening, and say they cannot understand. It's probably more that they won't agree with said action than that they don't understand, or are people really that shallow? It actually wouldn't surprise me if they were, which is the sad part, i suppose.

I have found that most people do not understand what the word "understand" means.
In the example above, if you were tell most people you understand why the man killed the other man, they would look at you in horror and say, "you agree that the man should have killed the other man!?!?"

I have noticed that most people think that "understand" and "agree with" have the same meaning.

You do have a point there blackdot. I have come across some people like this. But I think that just because you understand something doesn't necessarily mean you agree with it.