Useless

[Hawx79]

I tried so hard for years to fix all the problems where my pain comes from but every turn and different path i take i always get back to my old lonely rocky road again, if that made any sense!
I sport alot have atheltic body yet my face remains as ugly, most women find me repulsive, i dont even know how to have normal conversasions with them without getting too attached and nervous. I know even fat ugly guys get nice women but they atleast have something else like lots of money, great personilty or good sense of humeour...i have none of these, im royally ******...All i have is my health...great happy me! quess will live longer unhappy...what a cruel joke this life has planned for me. I try to tell myself life is amzing even when it sucks, but i just feel im missing out on something i feel so strongely about lately.
Ive been intensivley searching for a partner online (datinng sites) and ofline and wasted alot of my hard earned money...and then it hits me... am i really destined to walk the path of loneliness all my life no matter how hard i try? Because if it will happen, it will no matter how hard one tries, because i already ******* did that on absolutely 0 ******* % success!
I wish so much for someone to love me but dont think that someone exisits ...
Now im left with the question: now how am i going to spend the rest of my lonely ******* life still trying to be happy, is love the best thing that could happen to a person? Cause in that case ill be missing out on the best so called party on the world while im being choked in a dark corner by fate...
ps.sorry for my floods, im just so ******* frustated and tired of all this undeserving **** im getting in my life while everyone else around me just seems to be blessed since birth compared to me!...I just get no sympathy or compasion from anyone...most and everything in this world feels so hostile towards me while i didnt do anything wrong to anyone. I dont think i deserve being punished like this...I dont know anymore either if a woman could really take my pain away inside anyway...

 

[rivermaze]

no compassion from me then, but you have my sympathy whether you like it or not I don't like my face when facing a mirror neither, well, nothing left except of living with and accept it. there are more people around who face similar problems. I have no suggestions, but I don't say that there are no solutions. Maybe, stay with us for a while.

Friends and penpals can be better when you feel lonely. I don't think that looking for a permanent partner makes much sense before you accept yourself and feel being accepted by others. Have you tried interpals? I prefer to be here anyway, even the place seems to be daunting at times

 

[SophiaGrace]

everything in this world feels so hostile towards me

I've felt like the world was a hostile place at times. Yep.

 

[jjam]

"Love" only happens when two people who have decided they really want to work at it get together and REALLY work at it. I strongly believe that "love" is a rare gem out here. Most people do a damn good job of giving others the illusion of it. The facade of "love"! Soooooo many relationships out here that we think we're missing out on, sooooo many that crash and burn that lead to heartache or other forms of burdens that we KNOW we're not missing out on.
Because I am spending TOO much time on forums due to a disappointing situation I've been handling lately, I read an interesting story about "love" almost everyday. The last one involves a married couple of merely a few months, and already one of them has proposed that they take time apart to sort out feelings because a new person of interest had surfaced.

I guess my point is don't get hung up on love. DO YOU! Embrace your hobbies! Establish new ones! Be adventurous! Have fun, even alone if you must!

 

[TheSolitaryMan]

I sport alot have atheltic body yet my face remains as ugly, most women find me repulsive, i dont even know how to have normal conversasions with them without getting too attached and nervous. I know even fat ugly guys get nice women but they atleast have something else like lots of money, great personilty or good sense of humeour...i have none of these, im royally ******...All i have is my health...great happy me!

Firstly, it's not a cliche...your health is the most important thing you can have. Ever.

Around two years ago when I was 18, I woke up one morning and found I'd lost 50% of my hearing in one ear and I have constant ringing in it probably forever now too. No one knows why that happened.

If I won the lottery, I would seriously give it all away just to get that hearing back and lose the ringing, it's absolutely horrible sometimes. I miss the sound of silence above everything else.

I also live in somewhat irrational fear of my good ear going the same too one night, I don't know what I'd do if that happened.

So don't ever take that foregranted - people don't realise how lucky they are just to be able to live as they normally do until something stops working properly.

Secondly, women find you repulsive? Says who? I know how easy it is to lapse into total negativity, I do it often enough myself. However, I think you're clearly not being fair to yourself here.

Unless you're openly insulting women to their face, hitting them or spitting on them, I seriously doubt any find you "repulsive". I had a pretty severe bout of pessimism a few months ago, I remember saying to a friend "A girl like X would never be interested in a slug like me". I was convinced I was just totally unlovable.

Ironically, I'd now count her as a girl I could go out with if I'd like to.

Things always look ****** when you feel down. I honestly believe your situation is not nearly as bad as you may originally think when you posted here. Pretty much everyone on these forums feels lonely, and it can be really depressing sometimes, yes.

Try to realise though, that a woman should complement your own self. You shouldn't look to women (as you seem to realise from your post) as a cure-all to your own problems. Thinking like that is self-destructive and leads to unhappy/unfair/abusive relationships.

Forgetting your desire for a relationship for a moment and your worries over your looks, what else would you like to improve in your life? You said you have an athletic body - that's one thing to be proud of. How's your financial status? Do you want to improve your career at all? Are you happy with your studies or your occupation?

Feel free to chat with me via PM if you'd like. I cannot believe that you have no discerning characteristics whatsoever, every person has something that is beautiful.

 

[jjam]

So don't ever take that foregranted - people don't realise how lucky they are just to be able to live as they normally do until something stops working properly.

*stands and claps*

You couldn't pay me all the money in the world for me to forfeit my ability to WALK to the very job that often has me wondering if I'll be okay for money in some near future.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

it makes all the sense in the world if you had suffered enough like me and many people.
So i did a lot of reserch. Attended support groups, church. Sought professional help.
Read plenty of self books. Spiritual books...etc..etc.

Throughout my reserach and experince. There's one common theme.
Its in our programming, conditioning, our mental blueprints...etc..etc.
People just use different terms to label it...which confuse people in general.
The principles are still the same.

example....A rose is still that type of flower...no matter how different humans label it.

The reason why we fall back to our old behaviors is becuase we're sunconciously
or on auto pilot to our old ideas and beliefs.
Kind da like lotto winners..prior to winning to lotto were poor...so within
a couple of years after winning millions they become poor again.
Living in thier old ways or comfortzone.
Or people lose wight through discipline and willpower altering thier behaviors
only to gain wieght again 6 months or a year later.


Through willpower or trying to stay consiously aware of everything its like
a major struggle and very tiring. Kinda like we're constantly fighting ourselves.

Our beliefs are the CUASE. Our behaviors or actions are the EFFECTS.

So if we work on the effects instead of the cuase..its like never getting to the root of it
all.

You going on and on about this chick did this...that chick di that...is sufface stuff...
Its not getting to root of your problems.

Kind da like...trying to make new **** happen using the same old outdate programming
or software on your PC. The program is ganna spit out the same old ****
no matter how fast to type the keys Trash in ...trash out.

The salutions to making lasting changes is to get rid of our old ideas and unworkable
beliefs. Regramm ourselves or parent ourselves.
Throw out what gramma did in the fucken 50S or what pops did in the 70s.
All the fucken **** they told you couldnt do....1000000 times in your life time
this data gets input into your brain...and the 100 times people might say you can.
The 100000 time you reinforced of the "CANTs" yourself becuase you ran with those
old beliefs or ideas. Limited ideas and thinking of others then you impose limited
beliefs yourself. Self imposed prisons on auto pilot. (old comfortzone)

Beliefs > conviction(faith)> attitude(perceptions)>Feelings>actions/reactions.

If you belief you CANT get dates or your not good enough...and you run that programming in your
head over and over again...the fucken computer (sub consious mind) is gonna spit out whatever you tell it.
You'll set up conditions and gather all the data to support your beliefs.

Have you self sabatage your life for no particular reason and wonder why...why the **** did i do that?
Do you tell yourself you're alway gonna be lonely?

Why would rather be miserable and lonely????
Its in the pay offs.....YOUR FAMILAR AND COMFORTIABLE WITH IT.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Anyway....
Im asian...throughout my life. Ive beem bullied and picked becuase of my looks....

At the sametime throughout my life....I keep getting Hawt white chicks..

I belive its due to that Farrah Fosette poster I had in my room.hahaaa
I wake up to that image everryday. I had crazy fantacy of me playing with her ****s for years and years. She got imbeded in my mind.. Now its my subconciouse..

---

Its a trip..cuase my first GF...looks just like Farah.

I got introduce to her through friend onenight..and we just hit it off.
I was also her first BF.
We spent an enitre summer with her making out and just having fun...
I also believe having had that experince with a very petty girl helped me in many ways....I know its possible. I experinced it first hand .

I returned to school after that summer...all the hateful dudes and ugly *** ******* that I would touch with a ten foot pole..picked on me....

Then Renae came into my life.

 

[bathen11]

Can I just say from a girl point of view, is all about your attitude if you think so badly about your self we Can smell it from miles!! Maybe if you just try to be your self and believe in your self thing could be a little different and I also believe there's someone fot everyone!!! I'm sure that you're not half of the stuff that you wrote about your self and most importantly I'm sure that you're an awesome guy probably better from the guys that have money and looks And that BS!!!

 

[lovelace]

Hawx79, there is definitely someone out there for you. You just haven't met her yet. You will find love when you least expect it.

I don't think that women really find you repulsive. That's just something that you think.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I didnt used to be shy or afraid of women..
But I through a major depression after a toxic relationship. My exgf would say
very mean things to me...
Stuff like...I"ll never find someone to love me...etc..etc. Lots and lots of negative stuff.
I was truamatized from the dramma and chaso of living with her. Over time it chip away at my self esteem . My emotions were drag through the mud.
I couldnt consentrate..ett..ect
I would second guess myself becuase of all the manipulations and BS she was filling my head with..
I bnascilly had PTSD living with her.

I needed time to heal..but at the sametime I kind da isolate myself

anyway..I had to get well and start dating again. I also had to take an inventory of myself...I wasnt bad as my exgf siad I was. I have lots and lots of good qualities.

Anyway.....
I remember going through this stage...

I USED TO TALK MYSELF OUT OF ASKING WOMEN OUT... Afraid of getting hurt again , plus all the stupid **** my Exgf
was still running in my head..

---

Poeple from this site would help me.
Some called me and became my friend..
Other women actually cross the line and flirted with me. She was actaully very beautiful. She actaully told me to fall in love with her and foucs on her..Cuz I used to run into my EXGF and felt really bad about myself and totally flip...
Becuase my exgf bascailly brain washed me..

But anyways that kind of help...
The real change began when I actaully started believing in myself and telling myself Im good enough. I had to take my mind back and washed out all that negative **** my brain was operating on.....

---

Well...it didnt happened overnite...

I had to do a lot of positive self talk everyday and tell myself to STOP
when I catch myself going into negative thinking..

Gruadually..as I became more and more positive about myself....Women started entering my life again or I wasnt afraid of asking women out....drop dead gorgeous women..

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Start liking yourself and you might find more women interested.

 

[Hawx79]

I don't think that women really find you repulsive. That's just something that you think.

I know how women are looking at me, its like hate on first sight, so yes they really do find me repulsive and have no respect for me on the first hunch towards me...Yes ofcourse i might be a great guy once you get to know me and i do like and love myself but others just dont, and from my experience almost all people are very shallow and judge and threat people on how nice there face looks!
I am 32 and getting older and changes are really running short for me, so it is a very good possibility that ill remain single and childless, im not being negative, just realistic on what can happen for real

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Funny thing about apperance is that there is more to it than just your physical body. Your body language plays just as big a role. You may love yourself. However, does your first impression say that? One thing I noticed at my job. People take me much more seriously if I give off a confident apperance. Small things like standing up straight. If the situation calls for it looking relaxed. If the situation calls for it being intimidating. Speaking loud enough that everyone could hear me. Making eye contact, having an appropriate facial expression. All these things make up your appearance, especially for males. You sound like a dreary guy who is scared and no fun. People do not like that in men.

 

[lovelace]

I know how women are looking at me, its like hate on first sight, so yes they really do find me repulsive...

No matter what you say, I still think that's not true. Sometimes, our minds can play tricks on us - we think/feel something that isn't really true. I'm a pessimist by heart and I don't think much of love either. But I seriously believe that there is a person (actually more than just one) out there for anyone.

I could never see what's the point of going out on a date (so I never went on one)...actually I've never in my life searched for a partner. So I am the last person who will be able to give you an advice on how/where to find a girlfriend. But still...if you want my point...maybe just try to develop some friendships first.