Wanting to have a boyfriend but unable to that

[puregoddess]

Does anyone else is going throuth the same??

A little confusing, I've had some problems since always, I was/am a very insecure person and since I was a kid I was "aware" that I just couldn't have a boyfriend, so with the time, that idea started to terrify me to the point I go away everytime I see someone with "potencial", and the boys I like, always have girlfriends or they just can't.

It seems this is the problem, I don't want to be in a relationship so I don't have to "prove myself" in one, so I sabotage myself to like guys who are not avaliable, and when I do like someone, I just think I'm not good enough and I just leave.

That's why I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 25 now), and I've had a lot, a lot of guys who would like to be with me, but I just can't, I don't even try, I forget it inmediatly. If you see me, I'm a normal woman, but when it comes about relatinships I'm always frightened, I just can't be in one, this makes me sad because I do want to, but I can't because of this emotional thiing I have.

Has anyone gone through the same??? Please, any help would be appreacitated.

 

[Trent]

i can relate

 

[floffyschneeman]

I was or is a in a similar situation. I've never let myself befriend a guy whom I feel might have the tendency to like me.I only accept those I know who will only see me as a friend and nothing more. I guess cos it's easier to be myself around friends than someone I like or have a crush on. I think that it's cos I am the youngest girl and was always the tomboy, rough mannered, man-hater in the family. I also didn't want to to disappoint anyone, specially my parents, and I know my dad would prefer to keep me as his little girl. But I guess there will come a time when life gets tougher and you can't step back and assess things or people in your life. You meet someone who just makes you your strongest, forgetting all the insecurities and just fight for what you feel inside your heart, but at the same time makes you your weakest and just succumb to accept all of the possible situations you might be in his life.

Most often than not, we don't try cos we're afraid of failing. But sometimes, we don't realize we are opening ourselves up to someone and maybe we will win or lose in the end. But that's life and it goes on.

I think now that you are able to realize what causes you to be like that, just continue to build yourself up to be the person you want. Confident and strong, with or without a guy. And if life offers you someone to love, just love him with all your heart despite life's uncertainties.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I cannot say I can relate on the whole sabatoging myself. I know that I am just not good enough. So I am not really sure if that counts. As for liking girls who are already in relationships. I tend to like very attractive females. So it is not surprise to me when they are in a relationship. I doubt that it is any different for a female who likes males.

I can also relate on the whole not wanting to prove myself idea, in some small way. It is more that I find the entire process tedious and annoying to get very little benefit. However, that is just me. So I find the best way to deal with all these feelings is to just start hating females or in your case males. Anger makes me feel better anyway.

 

[BrokenInside]

Read this
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000940.htm

 

[Bones]

I can totally relate even though I have had relationships.

My coping mechanism was to focus on other people and try to help them.

---

I wanted to create a thread for this since it effects others and myself as well, but it is already stated in this thread.

Read this
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000940.htm

 

[MajBee]

I've gone through similar. I'm 24 never had a boyfriend either but the difference is I've never had 'a lot, a lot' of guys interested in me, in fact my number is a lot closer to none.
I'm not sure why this is even an issue for you, you're obviously not ready to be in a relationship, but when you will be you apparently have truck loads of guys to choose from.

 

[Seosa]

I've gone through similar. I'm 24 never had a boyfriend either but the difference is I've never had 'a lot, a lot' of guys interested in me, in fact my number is a lot closer to none.
I'm not sure why this is even an issue for you, you're obviously not ready to be in a relationship, but when you will be you apparently have truck loads of guys to choose from.

Close to none is a lot better than actually none.

 

[perfanoff]

Does anyone else is going throuth the same??

A little confusing, I've had some problems since always, I was/am a very insecure person and since I was a kid I was "aware" that I just couldn't have a boyfriend, so with the time, that idea started to terrify me to the point I go away everytime I see someone with "potencial", and the boys I like, always have girlfriends or they just can't.

It seems this is the problem, I don't want to be in a relationship so I don't have to "prove myself" in one, so I sabotage myself to like guys who are not avaliable, and when I do like someone, I just think I'm not good enough and I just leave.

That's why I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 25 now), and I've had a lot, a lot of guys who would like to be with me, but I just can't, I don't even try, I forget it inmediatly. If you see me, I'm a normal woman, but when it comes about relatinships I'm always frightened, I just can't be in one, this makes me sad because I do want to, but I can't because of this emotional thiing I have.

Has anyone gone through the same??? Please, any help would be appreacitated.

Being a mature person means being able to make decisions and take chances. It's about putting yourself on the line. It means having the courage to know what you want and work at getting it. You may be 25 but you're not a woman, you're still a girl. And that's fine. You can take as long to grow up (provided there are no kids involved).

So you're right, until you can take a hit and get up, it's not the time to try with a guy. Sure, there is the off-chance that it will work out but most likely, he will break your heart or you will break his. Now go and build your confidence and figure out what you want in life. You seem to be good age for me. When you're done, if you're a cutie, write me a line. lol!

 

[mawmaw]

sorry to say that but i think that you don't love yourself enough. try to figure out why.
i'm saying that because it happened to me before, i was like that also. then i figured out that i didn't like myself enough. worked on it a little bit, forgave myself for my mistakes etc. and now i am much more comfortable about my relationships with others (even with my friends i mean)

Ofc i am not sure with my opinion since that i don't know you. But this is my observation about this thread.

 

[Gutted]

I can't say I've ever wanted a Boyfriend. But that's because I am a straight Male, lol. I can relate though. In the past, I've wanted to be in a relationship just because friends and/or family of mine have been. I've also the trouble of falling for taken people and sabotaging chances I might have with a Girl simply because I don't think I can do it for whatever reason. Now though, I just get on with it. There are plenty of worse things in the world that could happen to me ^_^

 

[Seosa]

I can't say I've ever wanted a Boyfriend.

Likewise.

 

[MajBee]

I've gone through similar. I'm 24 never had a boyfriend either but the difference is I've never had 'a lot, a lot' of guys interested in me, in fact my number is a lot closer to none.
I'm not sure why this is even an issue for you, you're obviously not ready to be in a relationship, but when you will be you apparently have truck loads of guys to choose from.

Close to none is a lot better than actually none.

It actually is none, but I wanted to make myself seem less pathetic.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Does anyone else is going throuth the same??

A little confusing, I've had some problems since always, I was/am a very insecure person and since I was a kid I was "aware" that I just couldn't have a boyfriend, so with the time, that idea started to terrify me to the point I go away everytime I see someone with "potencial", and the boys I like, always have girlfriends or they just can't.

It seems this is the problem, I don't want to be in a relationship so I don't have to "prove myself" in one, so I sabotage myself to like guys who are not avaliable, and when I do like someone, I just think I'm not good enough and I just leave.

That's why I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 25 now), and I've had a lot, a lot of guys who would like to be with me, but I just can't, I don't even try, I forget it inmediatly. If you see me, I'm a normal woman, but when it comes about relatinships I'm always frightened, I just can't be in one, this makes me sad because I do want to, but I can't because of this emotional thiing I have.

Has anyone gone through the same??? Please, any help would be appreacitated.

You have to start loving yourself first and know that you're good enough. Who's to say you're not? People are each different in their own ways. You'll meet guys who are compatible, guys who are not. Guys who are sweethearts and those who are just complete jerks. But until you take that step or take that chance or risk, you'll never know what's on the other side of the fence.

Sure, you'll be opening up to hurt or pain or possible heartaches, but hun, that's just how life is really. You gotta take risks and experience and learn from your experiences.

When you're ready though. You said there are guys who like you. So there's no problem there. Just when you're ready, then go for it. But be careful too.

Does anyone else is going throuth the same??

A little confusing, I've had some problems since always, I was/am a very insecure person and since I was a kid I was "aware" that I just couldn't have a boyfriend, so with the time, that idea started to terrify me to the point I go away everytime I see someone with "potencial", and the boys I like, always have girlfriends or they just can't.

It seems this is the problem, I don't want to be in a relationship so I don't have to "prove myself" in one, so I sabotage myself to like guys who are not avaliable, and when I do like someone, I just think I'm not good enough and I just leave.

That's why I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 25 now), and I've had a lot, a lot of guys who would like to be with me, but I just can't, I don't even try, I forget it inmediatly. If you see me, I'm a normal woman, but when it comes about relatinships I'm always frightened, I just can't be in one, this makes me sad because I do want to, but I can't because of this emotional thiing I have.

Has anyone gone through the same??? Please, any help would be appreacitated.

Being a mature person means being able to make decisions and take chances. It's about putting yourself on the line. It means having the courage to know what you want and work at getting it. You may be 25 but you're not a woman, you're still a girl. And that's fine. You can take as long to grow up (provided there are no kids involved).

So you're right, until you can take a hit and get up, it's not the time to try with a guy. Sure, there is the off-chance that it will work out but most likely, he will break your heart or you will break his. Now go and build your confidence and figure out what you want in life. You seem to be good age for me. When you're done, if you're a cutie, write me a line. lol!

There you go!
perfanoff cutting straight to the chase!

 

[ksushil970]

Does anyone else is going throuth the same??

A little confusing, I've had some problems since always, I was/am a very insecure person and since I was a kid I was "aware" that I just couldn't have a boyfriend, so with the time, that idea started to terrify me to the point I go away everytime I see someone with "potencial", and the boys I like, always have girlfriends or they just can't.

It seems this is the problem, I don't want to be in a relationship so I don't have to "prove myself" in one, so I sabotage myself to like guys who are not avaliable, and when I do like someone, I just think I'm not good enough and I just leave.

That's why I've never had a boyfriend (I'm 25 now), and I've had a lot, a lot of guys who would like to be with me, but I just can't, I don't even try, I forget it inmediatly. If you see me, I'm a normal woman, but when it comes about relatinships I'm always frightened, I just can't be in one, this makes me sad because I do want to, but I can't because of this emotional thiing I have.

Has anyone gone through the same??? Please, any help would be appreacitated.

You just need to believe on someone, because if you don't trust on anyone than how can you get a boyfriend or someone, who can be only yours.


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