I could upskill all I want.
If I still end up doing something that isn't "me", I'm going to be angry and depressed 24/7/365.
As a result of that I'm going to be too tired, apathetic, and angry to be interested in, excited about, or care about anything.
You can have all the skills in the world, but if it doesn't make you into someone you actually like being, it's going to be hard to like your life.
And if you don't like your life, if you don't really like who you are, don't really like yourself, I don't know how you can give off positive enough vibes, and get anyone interested in you when you have no passion and aren't really happy ever.
As I've said before, I'm not like most people.
I don't watch sportsball, so I can't sustain myself that way.
I don't give a f*ck about celebrities either.
I post a lot, but I don't really enjoy sh*tposting either. I wouldn't call it an interest. It's more like fidgeting.
How am I going to attract someone when I'm always some combination of angry, depressed, tired, apathetic, not excited about anything, and don't have any interests?
How am I going to be happy when I feel like a prisoner in a life I hate, and hopeless about the future?
I don't like or care about much of anything anymore. I hate this sh*tty ass world. I don't see a way out.
It's kind of irrelevant at the same time.
I have to find some way to like myself and my life but I really don't know how I'm going to do it.
I don't know. Not having the confidence in my ability to do things, and feeling pessimistic about anything I could do paying off because I'm not one of the "better" people, has always f*cked up my life.
