What is wrong with me?

[clar5]

I am 25 years old. I really don't have many friends, in matter of fact I can't begin to tell you the last time I went out on a weekend. All of my friends left me behind, ignore me, or were total @$$ to me (wanted me to come to her and drive her around and always come to her house and waste gas and very demanding).

I don't do bars or nightclubs, I do do meetups and stuff but everyone who shows up for them are at least 15 years older than me, not much in common at all. I am in grad school, but everyone one it seems either is married or lives with a significant other.

I feel like theres something wrong with me, and I dont know what. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person left in the world. :/

 

[Mary Mary]

The one thing I encourage people to do is to separate what they think they should be and what they really want be.

I found myself alone over and over again. Even after I acquired social skills, I still found myself alone; however, when I actually thought about it, I realized that I kept making decisions that caused me to be alone because I actually liked it!

Much of my depression was centered on what I thought I should be. I should be married, I should have kids, etc.

So, do you like being in your situation, or does it make you feel bad because you think it's somehow wrong?

 

[clar5]

The one thing I encourage people to do is to separate what they think they should be and what they really want be.

I found myself alone over and over again. Even after I acquired social skills, I still found myself alone; however, when I actually thought about it, I realized that I kept making decisions that caused me to be alone because I actually liked it!

Much of my depression was centered on what I thought I should be. I should be married, I should have kids, etc.

So, do you like being in your situation, or does it make you feel bad because you think it's somehow wrong?

I think it might be a little bit of both. Out of all of my high school friends, I'm the only one who actually graduated college in four years (didnt take a detour to a community college), and went onto grad school and hopefully will be successful and on top of that didn't get myself pregnant at an early age (one of my closest friends back in high school got herself pregnant prom weekend).

But on Facebook I see everyone else enjoying their lives and posting pictures and I find myself wondering where am I going wrong?

 

[Mary Mary]

The one thing I encourage people to do is to separate what they think they should be and what they really want be.

I found myself alone over and over again. Even after I acquired social skills, I still found myself alone; however, when I actually thought about it, I realized that I kept making decisions that caused me to be alone because I actually liked it!

Much of my depression was centered on what I thought I should be. I should be married, I should have kids, etc.

So, do you like being in your situation, or does it make you feel bad because you think it's somehow wrong?

I think it might be a little bit of both. Out of all of my high school friends, I'm the only one who actually graduated college in four years (didnt take a detour to a community college), and went onto grad school and hopefully will be successful and on top of that didn't get myself pregnant at an early age (one of my closest friends back in high school got herself pregnant prom weekend).

But on Facebook I see everyone else enjoying their lives and posting pictures and I find myself wondering where am I going wrong?

Ah! I think it's natural, especially as a woman, to feel the biological urges to nest; and they're natural, and certainly respecting those urges is definitely a viable life choice. However, sometimes our intellect as women can be at odds with our biology; and when we respect the choices of our intellect, that can cause us to feel the pangs of I should be getting married or I should be having children.

No matter which road you take, you'll have regrets. Those myface or spacebook people are only showing you what they want you to see. You don't see the fear that they're husband might be cheating or their secret resentment at their child because he's not doing as well in school as the neighbor's kid.

The first paragraph in your second post shows someone who's basically happy with her life. I think depression and isolation is a natural byproduct of being a loner, but it doesn't mean that your lifestyle is wrong. Just like stay at home moms need to find a way to address the things that cause them emotional angst in their life, we have to find ways to address ours. You'll never escape the basic feeling of dissatisfaction no matter what you do, so just take the time to enjoy the pleasure your accomplishments give you.

What did you major in?

 

[clar5]

My undergraduate degree is a BS in Health Science Pre-PA concentration (took organic chem and anatomy in the same semster and said not for me, but that was my next to last semester too late to switch by that point).

My Master's will be a Master's of Arts in Teaching with two NJ State Certifications-K-5 and P-12 Special Education.

 

[Mary Mary]

You go, girl!

 

[A new life]

Maybe nothing's wrong with you.
(except that you think something's wrong with you)
Don't we all?

 

[edgecrusher]

i know how you feel. i dont have many friends either. most are more or less acquantences. i dont regularly talk to any of them really. just here and there. i dont do bars or clubs either. most left here and are now married. it does feel like i am the only person in the world sometimes.