What it means to be truly ugly.

[CenotaphGirl]

Disclaimer - no need to respond, just the ramblings of a mad woman.

Okay so I was thinking about what it must be like to be truly ugly... I think in some ways it must be the complete reverse of being attractive and others very similar...

Most people who see a beautiful person, compliment them to their face, an ugly person gets spoken about behind their backs.

Gas lighting is true for both, most people pretend that they wouldn't date the attractive woman and in reverse most would pretend they would give the ugly person a chance.

What a lot of people do not consider is that it can be lonely on both sides of the fence. Lonely because you are surrounded by people who think they know all there is to know about you by the way you look.

An attractive person often has a higher number of sexual partners or at least sexual suitors, whereas an unattractive person has little to no interest in that area.

The uglier a person the less deserving is a general view, however, the more attractive a person the less human they are, placed on a pedestal to where liking normal things, or being kind seem other worldly when an attractive person behaves in that way.

Anyway, just been thinking about the differences on either side of the fence, after crossing over from ugly to reasonably attractive my life got way better in some ways, but I lost the ability to connect with people like I want to. I am saddened by that.

 

[MrLonely86]

I look better than 90% of men on planet, did I got any benifit from that in any area in my life? Noup. Looks don't matter , at all. Answer by a nice looking guy.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't mean this as flattery, since flattering someone else is to lower yourself, and that's something guys especially shouldn't do. But, I find it hard to believe you ever had to "cross over" from "ugly" to only "reasonably attractive". I think you were already there, you just had to change up your style maybe.

Anyway. Yeah, of course the attractive woman is always going to have that sexual pull. But I find that more often that not, that's all there is. The thing that a person can't automatically do, is make me care about them - make me feel affection for them. Sure, there are a lot of hot women out there that I would have a hard time turning down physically. But how many of them would I actually care about and like as people? If I don't like someone as a person - whether it's active dislike, or just a lack of stimulation and indifference resulting from incompatibility - I just don't want to invest time and energy in them no matter what they look like.

I imagine the same thing is true on the flip side - a woman could date a rich man, but maybe he is miserable to spend time with, and impossible to get close to emotionally. I can't imagine that being too much fun, for too long.

On the other hand, someone might not have what society says is conventional attractiveness, but I find that I actually care about the person. I care about what happens to them, if they are happy or sad, I'm curious about them, I have warm feelings for them. I want to talk to them again. I feel affection for them.

Of course, looks help, but it's not necessarily the end-all, be-all.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I look better than 90% of men on planet, did I got any benifit from that in any area in my life? Noup. Looks don't matter , at all. Answer by a nice looking guy.

This made me laugh lol I dont doubt ya. Honestly I dont think looks typically benefit men as much as women, but being better looking than 90% of men... well... that has to bring some benefits lol

I don't mean this as flattery, since flattering someone else is to lower yourself, and that's something guys especially shouldn't do. But, I find it hard to believe you ever had to "cross over" from "ugly" to only "reasonably attractive". I think you were already there, you just had to change up your style maybe.

Anyway. Yeah, of course the attractive woman is always going to have that sexual pull. But I find that more often that not, that's all there is. The thing that a person can't automatically do, is make me care about them - make me feel affection for them. Sure, there are a lot of hot women out there that I would have a hard time turning down physically. But how many of them would I actually care about and like as people? If I don't like someone as a person - whether it's active dislike, or just a lack of stimulation and indifference resulting from incompatibility - I just don't want to invest time and energy in them no matter what they look like.

I imagine the same thing is true on the flip side - a woman could date a rich man, but maybe he is miserable to spend time with, and impossible to get close to emotionally. I can't imagine that being too much fun, for too long.

On the other hand, someone might not have what society says is conventional attractiveness, but I find that I actually care about the person. I care about what happens to them, if they are happy or sad, I'm curious about them, I have warm feelings for them. I want to talk to them again. I feel affection for them.

Of course, looks help, but it's not necessarily the end-all, be-all.

Awh thanks Ska Fishy I wont take it as flattery then, but as a kind thing for a friendly man to say to me. I actually did cross over from ugly to attractive. If this site was kinder, I'd post some throw backs to uglytown for giggles lol that me is long gone sadly.. I miss her sometimes, I liked her more than "hot me".

But yeah I agree with you Ska, I think another side to being attractive is sometimes people think you are treated so much better than everyone else that they enjoy pulling you down. But as you say, it's not always easy to find people who want a genuine connection with you, so sometimes it's like you're either being used or pulled down.

Being ugly brings similar issues, sometimes people like the easy target, and will put down someone who is unattractive, and they can be used, like the nerd who would do the hot girls homework in the movies.

 

[MrLonely86]

This made me laugh lol I dont doubt ya. Honestly I dont think looks typically benefit men as much as women, but being better looking than 90% of men... well... that has to bring some benefits lol

Society treats men like garbage so ... being better looking than 90% of garbage is still a garbage. xD

 

[user 150037]

Personality can play a huge role in physical beauty. I can think of women with pretty faces who turned out to be horrible - and i stopped seeing them as pretty.

On the other hand i have misjudged women as...lets say plain - then found them gorgeous once i got to know them.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Society treats men like garbage so ... being better looking than 90% of garbage is still a garbage. xD

Okay okay... I know I wasn't supposed to ... but I did chuckle at this too lol for honesty purposes I admit it. I think theres a certain class of man who is treated better than everyone as a whole however... the average man is garbage in society yeah that's true. Sorry such an amazing accomplishment has resulted in so little.

Personality can play a huge role in physical beauty. I can think of women with pretty faces who turned out to be horrible - and i stopped seeing them as pretty.

On the other hand i have misjudged women as...lets say plain - then found them gorgeous once i got to know them.

See I struggle with this, I think you can find someone unattractive when you know their full character, I agree there. I also think attraction can grow like you mentioned.

In all fairness... I have met ugly men, who, upon getting to know them were just as ugly on the inside as out. Also, ugly men with hearts of gold who'd literally lay their life for me. Then theres the attractive men who had awful personalities but I didnt care much because they were attractive and only rarely an attractive man with a personality of gold. I have never had he phenomenon of finding someone ugly because their personality was but I am sure it can happen as you say, but I tend to think "I dont care how hot he is I am not going back there!" rather than "He's so ugly now despite nothing about him physically changing".

 

[MrLonely86]

Sorry such an amazing accomplishment has resulted in so little.

LOL. Being better looking isn't accomplishment. It's pure luck. Anyway, nothing in life really matters, so I couldn't care any less how I look, it wouldn't change anything. It doesn't matter. Both ugly and good looking die equally. XD

 

[CenotaphGirl]

LOL. Being better looking isn't accomplishment. It's pure luck. Anyway, nothing in life really matters, so I couldn't care any less how I look, it wouldn't change anything. It doesn't matter. Both ugly and good looking die equally. XD

You dont work on your appearance ? You must be lucky lol So sorry to read you feel your life is without meaning, that none of it really matters. Thats false in my opinion. You matter.

 

[MrLonely86]

I am nihilist - where was I before this life - it doesn't matter. What I did in this life - doesn't matter. Where I go after I die - doesn't matter. Life is really simple - nothing matters.

Or if you want to look at it from " space perspective " - humans will never leave solar system and find habitable planet. And all stars will die and galaxy will be cold dead place. So any human " achivement " don't matter at all.

 

[user 135671]

You should take some responsibility for the way you present yourself. But you shouldn't be hung up on your looks, whether you're ugly or handsome, because, as MrLonely86 says, it isn't an achievement.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Is being good looking an achievement? For me personally it is, in every study and every poll my demographic is considered the least attractive. I have had to work hard to be considered attractive, various procedures, for example I am booked for my 7th enhancement on the same body part… so i’ve genuinely had countless procedures, spent hours in the gym, strong dental routine to achieve good looks and to be seen as good looking. I did all this because modelling and acting is my passion. Unlike lonley I wasnt just born hot, it took work and money… for me.

 

[isthatso]

Most of us get ugly or even uglier as we age.
Old age is the great leveller appearance wise No one is attractive forever

 

[MrLonely86]

+1 on this, people age like milk. XD

 

[okidoke]

+1 on this, people age like milk. XD

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Most of us get ugly or even uglier as we age.
Old age is the great leveller appearance wise No one is attractive forever

I think men age like wine honestly sucks for us women

 

[user 150037]

Depends how well you look after yourself. My mum is in her sixties and gets mistaken a 40 year old - never smoked, eats healthy and looks after her skin.

I have an auntie who is a decade younger than my mum but smokes, drinks and has a poor diet - and she looks 20 years older.

 

[CenotaphGirl]

Depends how well you look after yourself. My mum is in her sixties and gets mistaken a 40 year old - never smoked, eats healthy and looks after her skin.

I have an auntie who is a decade younger than my mum but smokes, drinks and has a poor diet - and she looks 20 years older.

This is true my mums a dance teacher and the men…. The men are still after her lol she literally looks young but her hands… deffo give her away not sure why maybe just genetics

 

[TheRealCallie]

TRUE ugly is not determined by outer appearance, IMO. It's who a person is on the inside that really makes someone ugly. No person is "ugly" in the sense of appearance. No one can be, because beauty is subjective and differs for every person.

 

[isthatso]

Some of us are lucky to be beautiful on the inside and outside.
Thank you Lord for that.