Well, I am kind of shocked, I have been hanging out with this woman for the last few months, and since maybe two she proved herself quite toxic (mentioning in public things that I told her in private, insisting to accompany me to some pretty private things when I didn't ask her to, bringing her alcoholic ex boyfriend to bars with the result of getting me banned forever, basically forcing me to have a "date" with a friend of hers) so I decided to see her only with other people casually. I didn't want to break off with her completely because we have common acquaintances and as long as we play together we don't have to talk or exchange much.
Now, this is another story: three months ago we played together, and I had this nice music stand. When she saw it she said: I have the same stand, only there is one piece missing and it keeps falling down (also when I was at her place she pointed to the stand and said: this doesn't work).
Then she said something like: I should take this stand home with me (or something equally strange).
Then, at the end of the concert, we were leaving, and she said: "I will help you pack the stand", even if that was really unnecessary.
After that I didn't use the stand for a while, and after two months maybe I noticed that it wasn't standing up anymore. And I remembered her strange sentences. But I had no proof.
Tonight I went to her place with a bunch of other people and: wonder! Her stand was working fine, and one piece looked much more new than all the rest, the same piece that was missing from mine. Now I have proof, and definitely don't feel safe around this person (gee, she is almost 50 years old, how immature can one be?) and don't want to see her even socially anymore. But I don't want to destroy all relationships with common acquaintances.
If she says something to me because I try to avoid her, should I mention this story? The damage is only $20 or something, but if someone is capable of something like this, god knows what else she can do. (plus those two times when she asked me to come play with her and share the money, and I never saw any of that, but that is not 100% stealing, this is). Also, I think she would deny it and accuse me of lying.
This is even embarrassing, since high school I never experienced something like that. Definitely I don't want to have around someone with whom I have to guard my properties, not to talk about everything else. I don't know how to deal with this. This is a small city and I will have to meet her again.
Also, it hurts a lot, because it's my feeling that I somehow encourage people to take advantage of me. This said, I would never do anything like that in a thousand years, even if someone "encouraged" me to.
Now, this is another story: three months ago we played together, and I had this nice music stand. When she saw it she said: I have the same stand, only there is one piece missing and it keeps falling down (also when I was at her place she pointed to the stand and said: this doesn't work).
Then she said something like: I should take this stand home with me (or something equally strange).
Then, at the end of the concert, we were leaving, and she said: "I will help you pack the stand", even if that was really unnecessary.
After that I didn't use the stand for a while, and after two months maybe I noticed that it wasn't standing up anymore. And I remembered her strange sentences. But I had no proof.
Tonight I went to her place with a bunch of other people and: wonder! Her stand was working fine, and one piece looked much more new than all the rest, the same piece that was missing from mine. Now I have proof, and definitely don't feel safe around this person (gee, she is almost 50 years old, how immature can one be?) and don't want to see her even socially anymore. But I don't want to destroy all relationships with common acquaintances.
If she says something to me because I try to avoid her, should I mention this story? The damage is only $20 or something, but if someone is capable of something like this, god knows what else she can do. (plus those two times when she asked me to come play with her and share the money, and I never saw any of that, but that is not 100% stealing, this is). Also, I think she would deny it and accuse me of lying.
This is even embarrassing, since high school I never experienced something like that. Definitely I don't want to have around someone with whom I have to guard my properties, not to talk about everything else. I don't know how to deal with this. This is a small city and I will have to meet her again.
Also, it hurts a lot, because it's my feeling that I somehow encourage people to take advantage of me. This said, I would never do anything like that in a thousand years, even if someone "encouraged" me to.
.
