When did rape become funny?

[Poguesy]

Depends if it's a direct joke at someone or just random banter.

 

[tangerinedream]

....

 

[Equinox]

I'm one of those horrible people who can joke about anything, given the "right" circumstances. And I mean anything. Of course some topics are more sensitive than others, and for those cracking "rape jokes" (although, truth be told, I have never experienced anyone doing this, including myself) they better be sure there's nobody within hearing distance that might have been a victim once. What is joked about in private, between friends, is a slightly different matter, and as long as nobody hears is that can take offense, I see no harm in it. After all, joking about something doesn't have to mean it's not also taken seriously. E.g. I joked about the bomb attack in Oslo on July 22nd (happened just a few blocks away from my flat), seconds after it happened, mainly as a coping mechanism, but I took the entire matter quite seriously, let me assure you, and I do not support those acts of terrror at all.

I think Badjedidude has a point: People will always make fun of everything. At any given time, at some place, there will be people cracking jokes about everything. Not necessarily because they don't care, but maybe because they're jaded, or just have the ability to laugh about anything. At the same time, at any given time, at some place, there will be people who cannot tolerate jokes about this topic, or that topic, or that topic. If one were to avoid joking about everything that someone might be offended by, there wouldn't be many jokes left.

Having said that, I generally don't find anything humorous or laughable about rape, or violence, or animal abuse. However, at certain times, with certain people, and in a certain mood, jokes about those things might make me laugh - partly due to the shock and horror of hearing the "jokes", partly due to its absurdity. Like in this one scene in the film "Anchorman", when a character grabs a dog and kicks it off a bridge. Part of me was disgusted by that scene, but a small part of me giggled - because I knew that laughing about it was harmless, and that specific scene wasn't real. That doesn't mean I don't get furious and sad when I hear about animal abuse in real life. It's not the same thing as rape, I know, but for me, who value animal life just as much as human life, it has just as much impact.

And to clarify my late night rambling: To laugh at a joke about rape does NOT necessarily mean that one thinks rape itself is funny. There IS a difference. At least that's how I see it.

 

[Badjedidude]

I think Badjedidude has a point: People will always make fun of everything. At any given time, at some place, there will be people cracking jokes about everything. Not necessarily because they don't care, but maybe because they're jaded, or just have the ability to laugh about anything. At the same time, at any given time, at some place, there will be people who cannot tolerate jokes about this topic, or that topic, or that topic. If one were to avoid joking about everything that someone might be offended by, there wouldn't be many jokes left.

Yup. Right or wrong, there will always be jokes about it.

Those who can't tolerate jokes like that might as well get used to it. THAT DOES NOT MEAN TO AGREE WITH IT OR TO LIKE IT. But... trying to stop people from joking about it won't work. That's like trying to suppress the human sex drive. It just won't fly.

For some people, the only way they know to handle tough or upsetting situations is to laugh about them or make light of them.

*shrug*

 

[tangerinedream]

I'm not trying to stop people from joking about it. They can do what they want, just as I will continue to voice my disapproval.

*shrugs back*

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^I would never suggest otherwise, my dear! *thumbs up*

 

[stumble]

I'm one of those horrible people who can joke about anything, given the "right" circumstances. And I mean anything. Of course some topics are more sensitive than others, and for those cracking "rape jokes" (although, truth be told, I have never experienced anyone doing this, including myself) they better be sure there's nobody within hearing distance that might have been a victim once. What is joked about in private, between friends, is a slightly different matter, and as long as nobody hears is that can take offense, I see no harm in it.

Honestly to me this sounds a bit like people who think its ok to tell racist jokes as long as no one black or asian happens to be about.

As for never experiencing it I started this topic after seeing flippant messages in the shoutbox. I kind of regret it though because its a topic too close to home for me and some of the replies I find a little hard to deal with.

Maybe other people can carry on the topic and have a good debate but for me its time to bow out.

 

[Tino Tsutchie]

There's been a lot of debate lately about if certain things are funny (which is more like if certain things are allowed to be funny). Black/dark comedy makes fun of a lot of things (Death, drug use, depression, illness, murder, etc) including rape. I've heard a few comedians discuss these sort of things and they've mentioned a difference between making light of a dark topic and being a generally mean and offensive person. Since it falls into a matter of personal opinion, sense of humor and 1st amendment rights (gotta love that free speech!) It'll differ from person to person.

 

[LostInside]

I know the term has been used a lot in online video games. In the games like Halo people shoot one another people say things like "I raped you", "You got raped", "I'm gonna rape you again" or simply "Rape" after they kill someone (in the game of course) or win the game

 

[JamaisVu]

I can't recall any rape jokes that I've heard, but I'm familiar with the "pedobear" meme which is close enough so I'll use that as an example. Pedophilia in general isn't funny, if anything I view it as an unfortunate mental disorder, but a birthday cake with pedobear on it and "So I herd u were turning 7..." is funny if you get the in-joke. And that's the point, it's just humor. Yes, child rape is Serious Business. A cake with a cartoon-y bear and bad spelling, in sugary frosting? Not so much. You could give that cake to a 7 year old victim of sexual assault and he/she wouldn't even understand it. The only people who are going to "get it" are people who don't really mind dark humor. If a joke makes the audience genuinely sad, it fails as humor. We all read/hear/see things that conjure up bad memories, it's an unavoidable part of life. A joke told with the intention to hurt someone is no longer a joke, but a tasteless joke told with the intention to make someone smile is very different from the act of rape. Sometimes "evil" subjects are used purely for entertainment value. If I were close to a murder victim who died of poisoning, maybe I wouldn't want to watch the old black and white movie Arsenic and Old Lace -- it's a dark comedy that makes light of murder, a crime so serious that it warrants the death penalty in my country. Yet the movie didn't offend me, nor do I condone psychopathy -- I can distinguish between dark comedy and brutal unethical real acts of violence. I'd rather live in a society where I'm offended now and then, than one where political correctness stifles wit and art. I do try to show sensitivity and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't care to treat specific subjects as taboo in general.

 

[Pheenix]

Well, yeah, since the discussion has turned in this direction: Yup, everyone are gonna joke about everything, and for me personally, nothing is even remotely offensive to joke about, even things that have happened to me, in fact, it helps me a lot. Of course. That being said, whether we should try to change that depends on some higher-end sociology and psychology knowledge that I don't know, but I believe people that have expertise in psychology would say that we do more harm than we think when we make such jokes.

 

[Limlim]

I can't recall any rape jokes that I've heard, but I'm familiar with the "pedobear" meme which is close enough so I'll use that as an example. Pedophilia in general isn't funny, if anything I view it as an unfortunate mental disorder, but a birthday cake with pedobear on it and "So I herd u were turning 7..." is funny if you get the in-joke. And that's the point, it's just humor. Yes, child rape is Serious Business. A cake with a cartoon-y bear and bad spelling, in sugary frosting? Not so much. You could give that cake to a 7 year old victim of sexual assault and he/she wouldn't even understand it. The only people who are going to "get it" are people who don't really mind dark humor. If a joke makes the audience genuinely sad, it fails as humor. We all read/hear/see things that conjure up bad memories, it's an unavoidable part of life. A joke told with the intention to hurt someone is no longer a joke, but a tasteless joke told with the intention to make someone smile is very different from the act of rape. Sometimes "evil" subjects are used purely for entertainment value. If I were close to a murder victim who died of poisoning, maybe I wouldn't want to watch the old black and white movie Arsenic and Old Lace -- it's a dark comedy that makes light of murder, a crime so serious that it warrants the death penalty in my country. Yet the movie didn't offend me, nor do I condone psychopathy -- I can distinguish between dark comedy and brutal unethical real acts of violence. I'd rather live in a society where I'm offended now and then, than one where political correctness stifles wit and art. I do try to show sensitivity and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I don't care to treat specific subjects as taboo in general.

LMAO pedobear cake!

 

[JamaisVu]

LMAO pedobear cake!

 

[mintymint]

I think Badjedidude has a point: People will always make fun of everything. At any given time, at some place, there will be people cracking jokes about everything. Not necessarily because they don't care, but maybe because they're jaded, or just have the ability to laugh about anything. At the same time, at any given time, at some place, there will be people who cannot tolerate jokes about this topic, or that topic, or that topic. If one were to avoid joking about everything that someone might be offended by, there wouldn't be many jokes left.

Yup. Right or wrong, there will always be jokes about it.

Those who can't tolerate jokes like that might as well get used to it. THAT DOES NOT MEAN TO AGREE WITH IT OR TO LIKE IT. But... trying to stop people from joking about it won't work. That's like trying to suppress the human sex drive. It just won't fly.

For some people, the only way they know to handle tough or upsetting situations is to laugh about them or make light of them.

*shrug*

Haven't you heard of manners? Decorum? Tact? Sensitivity? Decency? Honestly I think it's silly that this is being debated. Yes you have the right to be an insensitive douchbag, but you know what? Don't be one FFS. And yes, I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to stop someone from being an *******. I'm not saying don't use the word rape, but don't make light of actual rape. So many people around you carry deep scars from these types of events, and if you knew and cared, you really wouldn't talk like that. And maybe they handle the pain with humor, but most of what we're talking about is some random ********* doing it for the lulz. Without giving it any thought. It's not a good thing.

You could give that cake to a 7 year old victim of sexual assault and he/she wouldn't even understand it.

A 25 year old victim of sexual abuse would.

 

[Pheenix]

Outside of "so many people" sorta seeming like an overstatement, I would agree, if we are talking strictly public space.

 

[mintymint]

Outside of "so many people" sorta seeming like an overstatement, I would agree, if we are talking strictly public space.

It's not an overstatement for me personally, and chances are that it's not for you either. I suggest a simple google search to find some statistics on the prevalence of rape and sexual abuse. And remember, not everyone is open about this kind of thing.

 

[Pheenix]

I see. I was just going by my notion of how prevalent rape was.

 

[JamaisVu]

You could give that cake to a 7 year old victim of sexual assault and he/she wouldn't even understand it.

A 25 year old victim of sexual abuse would.

I doubt it unless they browse that particular forum and are familiar with its memes. But for the sake of argument, say they do and it makes them sad. That's ultimately their own problem. It's a cake. They don't have to laugh or retell the joke. And why would anyone give such a person such a cake? The vast majority of people would show more tact than that. Online in the privacy of my own home I'll laugh at whatever amuses me and share my sense of humor with others who will enjoy it. If that by itself makes me a coldhearted bitch, I'm OK with that.

Another example of a tasteless joke:

I'm not secretly a Nazi and I don't hate Jews but that image made me grin when I first saw it. And no, I don't believe in "white flour"! To a Holocaust survivor or the victim of a racist attack it may be the height of tastelessness and utterly repulsive. I'm not going to knowingly distribute that joke to such a person with the intent to be cruel. But if someone can't handle a doctored image of the Pillsbury Doughboy and they want to ban the image, I think that's a far greater evil. I'm strongly anti-censorship. These images get spread around because so many people find humor in them. Not everyone, but if 90% of people laugh and 10% "feel sad" then it's not enough to make the humor invalid or wrong in my opinion. Especially when most people are pretty careful about when and with whom they share such "tasteless" jokes.

I know sexual abuse is a serious issue, and that it's more prevalent than may be obvious at first glance. Really, I do. I'm a female and I've been hassled by men myself (fondled inappropriately, verbal abuse, just plain creepiness). But I have a sense of humor, and very little offends me.

 

[Pheenix]

I might be in over my head here, but why is it their own problem? They didn't voluntarily choose to be abused and they didn't voluntarily choose to react negatively to the cake. If they voluntarily chose to see the cake in the first place, I could see your point.

 

[mintymint]

You could give that cake to a 7 year old victim of sexual assault and he/she wouldn't even understand it.

A 25 year old victim of sexual abuse would.

I doubt it unless they browse that particular forum and are familiar with its memes.

It's a rather prominent meme, and I am familiar with it just from being on this forum and none others. I think it has a sizeable presence in the public's consciousness by now. But I think the whole analogy is flawed to begin with, as pedobear is merely a symbol of pedophilia, whereas we are talking about using the term "rape" to talk about rape.

But if someone can't handle a doctored image of the Pillsbury Doughboy and they want to ban the image, I think that's a far greater evil. I'm strongly anti-censorship.

I don't believe this discussion is about censorship at all. It's about taste and sensibilities.

Especially when most people are pretty careful about when and with whom they share such "tasteless" jokes.

I believe this thread was sparked by people not acting in such a manner.

But I have a sense of humor, and very little offends me.

I don't think it's a bad thing to be mindful of the people who would be offended by this particular material.

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Edit: I thought Nazi Poppin' Fresh was funny tho, I hope that doesn't invalidate everything else I said