When did rape become funny?

[stumble]

In answer to a question yes opening this thread was a genuine mistake. It was a heat of the moment thing when I just got annoyed. If I could unpost it I would, but I can't.

The thing is for all those people saying its ok to joke as long as no one gets offended you just never know who will and when and why. These issues aren't the sorts of things people drop into casual conversation. Heck maybe close friends wouldn't even tell you. It was said here in fun and yes I was offended, maybe from reading this others might have been too.

I realised pretty quickly this wasn't a conversation I could keep up so I just walked away. I didn't really jump down anyone's throat or anything. I think thats allowed and the right way to go about things. Other people have kept up the debate. Personally though after reading through this again and all the comments and opinions I'm really questioning if this is a place I want to stay. Maybe for that reason this thread was worthwhile for me.

 

[Limlim]

That's the way things go I suppose, with the exception of C words and N bombs and the like, it's a fairly open opinion forum. Something of this nature pretty much has to be as we want people to be able to come here and get what they have to say off their chest (One aspect of being lonely is having to conform and be silent all the time to be accepted). Sure in cases the majority might not agree with what they have to say, but at least they will never be silenced for being on the less popular side of the issue.

 

[Badjedidude]

There's really no debate. I'm sure everyone could agree that if it happened to them personally that it would be horrible.

The thing is, some people NEED to laugh at the horrific in order to handle it. Like in combat. Do you think soldiers crack jokes about killing the enemy because they're seriously cold-hearted and hate the world or something? No. It's because that's the only way they can find to ease the tension of the matter.

It's a fairly common human concept to find humor in the non-humorous. To suggest otherwise is silly.

THAT STILL DOES NOT MAKE THE SITUATION A GOOD THING. I don't think that anyone here is suggesting that rape is a good thing.

But... you have to keep in mind that some people will always laugh at things, especially, when those things haven't affected them personally on any level. Some people are more serious-minded about these things than others. I know that this hurts people sometimes. That's natural, whether because those people are simply more serious or because they were personally affected by the issue at hand.

I realised pretty quickly this wasn't a conversation I could keep up so I just walked away. I didn't really jump down anyone's throat or anything. I think thats allowed and the right way to go about things. Other people have kept up the debate. Personally though after reading through this again and all the comments and opinions I'm really questioning if this is a place I want to stay. Maybe for that reason this thread was worthwhile for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is...

Don't judge people too harshly for some of the replies you've seen in here. Keep in mind that not everyone is as emotionally or psychologically mature as you may be. *shrug*

Anyway, if you stay on the forum or if you decide to never come back, thanks for starting an interesting thread and giving your opinion.

 

[stumble]

I guess I can see your point its just being able to speak your mind doesn't have to cancel out some compassion.

That's what I've seen a lot here. Like its raining on your little parade of being able to laugh at anything and everything. Maybe I'm just the worlds biggest prude.

What I will say though is those people saying they hope if they were a rape victim after some time passed (how long they think it takes to get over it god knows) they could laugh or that they wouldn't tell these jokes in a rape centre. Why don't you go to one and talk to these people then see what you think.

Erm ok I kind of get your point too. Its a release maybe or its not making fun but honestly does anyone have to say they are raping the shoutbox? Could they not think someone might see that how will they feel? Its so pointless and unnecessary.

 

[Badjedidude]

Maybe I'm just the worlds biggest prude.

No, you're not. You just have a differing opinion than some others here. There's nothing wrong with that.

In fact, feel free to call any of us on our **** at any time.

Why don't you go to one and talk to these people then see what you think.

That's what I was saying. It's easier to laugh at something when it's not close to you or has never happened to you.

And you're right about the compassion part, too. People should keep in mind that jokes like that could be hurtful to others.

 

[stumble]

That's some sense you talk.

However I'm just seeing myself differ so strongly in my views and outlook that it makes me wonder what I can get out of being here. Rather than just going off in some mood because people aren't agreeing with me!

Also it just seems laughable that the Nazis or Nazi imagery was brought into it. I heard somewhere that as soon as they are brought up in a internet discussion its over...

Wow I can't type or spell tonight.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^*shrug*

Well, I mean... if you feel that being here wouldn't benefit, then I guess you shouldn't stay.

I think it'd be nice to get to know you a bit better, though. So don't feel unwelcome, anyway.

 

[Limlim]

That would be godwins law you're referring to.

"As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1 (100%)."

In other words, Godwin put forth the hyperbolic observation that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope—someone inevitably criticizes some point made in the discussion by comparing it to beliefs held by Hitler and the Nazis.

On a side note, while it's true they were brought up, the intention of the law was to compare them to the point another person was trying to make in an attempt to demonize their statement. In this case the reference was used to show that referencing them does not in fact demonize what it is associated with if used in the right context.

 

[stumble]

That would be godwins law you're referring to.

"As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1 (100%)."

In other words, Godwin put forth the hyperbolic observation that, given enough time, in any online discussion—regardless of topic or scope—someone inevitably criticizes some point made in the discussion by comparing it to beliefs held by Hitler and the Nazis.

On a side note, while it's true they were brought up, the intention of the law was to compare them to the point another person was trying to make in an attempt to demonize their statement. In this case the reference was used to show that referencing them does not in fact demonize what it is associated with if used in the right context.

Thanks, I'm glad I hadn't made that up! As for the last part. I'll just say you're right because my cold addled brain just won't compute it right now!

 

[Rayboy]

I never knew it was funny. I think it should rank right up there near murder. No one should ever be subjected to a forcible act against their will. Anyone that has such a tenacity should be lock up away from society imo.

 

[JamaisVu]

What I will say though is those people saying they hope if they were a rape victim after some time passed (how long they think it takes to get over it god knows) they could laugh or that they wouldn't tell these jokes in a rape centre. Why don't you go to one and talk to these people then see what you think.

That'd be me. When bad things happen to me, I try really hard not let it bring me down all the time. It's just my way of making life a happier one. If a Really Bad Thing happened to me like rape, I'd hope that someday I would be able to move on and not feel intense sadness at seeing the word to the point that I can no longer participate in discussion forums. I'm not saying you're an idiot for feeling so upset, but to be honest I'd try to handle it differently than you're doing. When my mother was dying of lung cancer and arranging her funeral, she requested she be buried with a couple packs of cigarettes for the afterlife. You might find that appalling, but I'm pretty sure she understood the seriousness of the situation and I don't think she needed to go talk to more cancer patients in an attempt to "fix" her "lack of sensitivity". She'd sat in hospices and hospitals watching loved ones die. If that little gesture of humor brought her some joy, it was absolutely appropriate in my opinion. I hope I can show the same resilience in the face of tragedy because I'd rather smile a little than wallow in misery.

 

[stumble]

I honestly take offense at "wallow in misery". Plus its not like I'm going to go into the details of what happened to me so how you can even begin to understand how you would cope with it or how I should I don't know.

It was your mothers right to deal with what happened to her in any way she saw fit or that helped. As it is mine.

This isn't even about how people cope with things its about today's obsession with turning everything into a joke and using any word so lightly without questioning what that word might mean to someone else.

 

[JamaisVu]

I honestly take offense at "wallow in misery". Plus its not like I'm going to go into the details of what happened to me so how you can even begin to understand how you would cope with it or how I should I don't know.

It was your mothers right to deal with what happened to her in any way she saw fit or that helped. As it is mine.

I am trying really hard to explain my perspective in a way that doesn't offend you. I am. I'm sorry you find me so upsetting, but I'm not going to apologize profusely for feeling differently than you do either. I just tried to weigh in on a topic you started with what I hoped were well-thought-out explanations of my perspective on the issue. I think my approach is pretty balanced. I try to be considerate and polite, but I'm not going to go overboard with it either. Like if I were hosting a dinner party and a vegan was attending, I'd try my best to accommodate him/her -- but I would not throw out every item in my house that contained an animal ingredient simply because that person found my views very upsetting and wrong.

This isn't even about how people cope with things its about today's obsession with turning everything into a joke and using any word so lightly without questioning what that word might mean to someone else.

I gave my thoughts on the latter already, and you brought up the former when you implied it was flippant and immature of me to hope that I don't lose my sense of humor after a traumatic experience, and that if the tables were turned I'd feel exactly the way you do. I disagreed. That's all.

And I just meant that I don't want to let every negative experience that I have bring me down until I am wallowing in misery. Things bring up bad memories for me all the time, if I let myself dwell on it and take it too seriously then I'm not going to be a happy person.

 

[stumble]

i am not going to sit here and defend how i'm coping with this

i am done here. have a field day about me sating this if you want.

 

[JamaisVu]

*nods* If you get curious and check for a reply anyway, here it is: I agree with you that tact is a desirable goal. I don't bear ill will towards victims of violent crimes. If it seems like it, that's not my intent at all and I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I don't bring up such controversial topics in inappropriate situations because it isn't comfortable for everyone. If I saw the act being committed, I certainly wouldn't laugh. I first ran across the captioned box image on a site dedicated to tasteless humor but had forgotten about it until it was posted here. Some people feel that such subjects are off-limits in the realm of humor and they're absolutely entitled to that opinion. I feel that in the right situation (such as websites dedicated to tasteless humor) it's completely acceptable, and we just disagree on that point. I hope you find happiness and peace.

 

[nerdygirl]

That'd be me. When bad things happen to me, I try really hard not let it bring me down all the time. It's just my way of making life a happier one. If a Really Bad Thing happened to me like rape, I'd hope that someday I would be able to move on and not feel intense sadness at seeing the word to the point that I can no longer participate in discussion forums. I'm not saying you're an idiot for feeling so upset, but to be honest I'd try to handle it differently than you're doing. When my mother was dying of lung cancer and arranging her funeral, she requested she be buried with a couple packs of cigarettes for the afterlife. You might find that appalling, but I'm pretty sure she understood the seriousness of the situation and I don't think she needed to go talk to more cancer patients in an attempt to "fix" her "lack of sensitivity". She'd sat in hospices and hospitals watching loved ones die. If that little gesture of humor brought her some joy, it was absolutely appropriate in my opinion. I hope I can show the same resilience in the face of tragedy because I'd rather smile a little than wallow in misery.

Exactly. I understand that some people just don't work that way, but I would eventually get angry with myself if I couldn't find any sort of humor in a situation. I can't really see a point to Life if I adamantly refuse to see anything but unhappiness.

 

[Pheenix]

Quick comment for Stumble if she comes back: Why do you feel that you grow more by being on a forum with likeminded people than on a forum with people with differing opinions?

BJD: I'm not going to reread this entire thread, so if this is a strawman, forgive me, but; just because some people handle these things with humor, doesn't mean that you should try to force everyone into dealing with it this way. Habit does not make something right.

 

[JamaisVu]

I'm glad some of you see where I'm coming from with this.

Debate is a good analogy to humor. I enjoy debate. If I enter into debate with a bunch of random people, there's the risk that someone will be offended or hurt by my opinion. To minimize this risk and be polite, I wouldn't instigate a heated debate about a controversial topic on a crowded bus full of strangers. Instead I would go to a place where the audience would enjoy such a debate -- like here. Someone in the audience may feel offended by my views anyway. I wouldn't conclude that debate is bad and wrong because someone could get their feelings hurt and promptly cease to enjoy it. Lots of people enjoy debate and I wouldn't want it to become altogether socially unacceptable. There's a difference between a troll and someone with a radically different opinion than mine, intent matters. I don't like trolls who make personal attacks, but if I couldn't tolerate people with different opinions then I wouldn't enjoy debating. Sometimes you'll put your foot in your mouth and use a poor choice of words. So if someone makes a mistake, I don't see the point in taking offense when none is meant. Lots of people enjoy debate, but it's not for everyone. And if you try to please everyone, you'll drive yourself crazy. Some people are going to think you're arguments are brilliant, others are going to think you're a complete idiot. Maybe I wouldn't feel in the mood to debate something like abortion if I'd just had one, knowing it would trigger unpleasant memories and that people are going to criticize that choice harshly. I don't have to participate in that particular topic but I can't really complain when others discuss it just because it suddenly bothers me. I really see humor the same way.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I don't think Stumble is coming back...