Where's the stability?

[tehdreamer]

I seem to keep making friends with people who have severe emotional or mental issues. And I'm really quite sick of it.

I can understand being depressed or even suicidal. I've been there before. I can be really sympathetic and understanding about it. But I also know what it's like to be abandoned; It's not a nice feeling, and that's where my sympathy ends.

Suicide is a very selfish act. Period. The person is only thinking about ending their own pain and doesn't care about the lives they'll destroy and the pain they leave behind even years after they are gone. Maybe they think no one will care? Maybe they just don't care? I don't know. I just know I'm tired of taking the time and effort to let someone get close to me only to find out they plan to leave.

I'd very much like a little more stability in my life. Maybe I just can't let anyone get close anymore.

p.s.
For the record, I'm not trying to be disgruntled towards anyone who is depressed or suicidal here since I mostly likely don't even know them. These are just my feelings about those I do/did know.

 

[edgecrusher]

i agree. more than likely they think no one cares, or they have convinced themselves that no one cares. i know what you mean though. no one has really stuck around in my life and as a result i dont let people get close to me either. nor do i initiate anything with people for probably the same reason. i have actually found someone i want to get close to though and im not sure that its going to happen. only time will tell. but if there is a chance of something happening i am not going to let this one pass. not this time.

 

[tehdreamer]

I know I convinced myself a few times before that no one cared. Realistically, everyone has plenty of people that care. Maybe not in a way that takes away the loneliness or in a way that makes you feel secure, but they care enough not to want you dead and care enough that your death will affect them in some way or another.

Unfortunately, it's hard for people to think realistically when they are depressed to that extreme. And I'm too tired and too weary from dealing with my own problems to spend hours and hours trying to convince someone not to do something stupid.

I just had someone happily talk about visiting their best friend one minute then plan to go die to be with their dead ex-girlfriend the next. Those emotional extremes are draining. I'm like... wtf? Where is this suddenly coming from!? And I also can't help but to wonder what's the point of having a best friend if you're going to ditch them to be with a corpse?

I'm really tired of trying to form these relationships with people. People suck.

 

[edgecrusher]

I know I convinced myself a few times before that no one cared. Realistically, everyone has plenty of people that care. Maybe not in a way that takes away the loneliness or in a way that makes you feel secure, but they care enough not to want you dead and care enough that your death will affect them in some way or another.

Unfortunately, it's hard for people to think realistically when they are depressed to that extreme. And I'm too tired and too weary from dealing with my own problems to spend hours and hours trying to convince someone not to do something stupid.

I just had someone happily talk about visiting their best friend one minute then plan to go die to be with their dead ex-girlfriend the next. Those emotional extremes are draining. I'm like... wtf? Where is this suddenly coming from!? And I also can't help but to wonder what's the point of having a best friend if you're going to ditch them to be with a corpse?

I'm really tired of trying to form these relationships with people. People suck.

i know how you feel there too. i have often said people suck. at this point i dont really care about having many freinds. but i would like to find that special someone.

 

[Badjedidude]

I'm stable.

I very rarely tip over, and I do it all on only two legs!

 

[tehdreamer]

I'm stable.

I very rarely tip over, and I do it all on only two legs!

Mental stability. Does your brain wobble a bit too much?

 

[VanillaCreme]

One thing I had to learn was I have to be stable by myself. I hate depending or relying on other people. So I have to do it myself mentally and emotionally. I couldn't find that in someone else if I can't find it in myself.

 

[tehdreamer]

Well, I'm currently dealing with depression so that's all the reason more why I need stable people. If I'm depressed from being lonely, I can't very well deal with being abandoned by some who wants to take a dirt nap rather than stick around for me or anyone else.

Once I conquer depression again and head on my way to happiness, I still don't want to have to deal with it. I can talk to someone who's suicidal and try to help them out, but I won't let them get close and I won't call them my friend. It's sad enough when friends drift or leave out of your life because of normal life progression, it's worse when it's done purposely for some selfish reason.

 

[Badjedidude]

Mental stability. Does your brain wobble a bit too much?

I know what you meant. It was a small joke, there's no need to get rude.

And yes, it does.

 

[tehdreamer]

Mental stability. Does your brain wobble a bit too much?

I know what you meant. It was a small joke, there's no need to get rude.

And yes, it does.

I wasn't being rude, I was making a joke in return.

You should use super glue or stick a book under one end to keep it from wobbling.

 

[Badjedidude]

You should use super glue or stick a book under one end to keep it from wobbling.

Does that work!? :O I never tried it, but if you say it would work... lol

 

[tehdreamer]

You should use super glue or stick a book under one end to keep it from wobbling.

Does that work!? :O I never tried it, but if you say it would work... lol

The trick is getting your head open and rearranging your brain without passing out. Helpful to have an assistant to help out with that :club:

 

[Badjedidude]

Tehdreamer... I've never asked anyone this before...but...

Will you assist me in opening my skull?

 

[tehdreamer]

Your brain must be really wobbly if you're asking me to help I run screaming at the sight of blood. But I'll find the number of a really good butcher for you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well...dreamer.
I've tried to commite suicide before. I used to suffer from a lot of depression.
Plus there's alot of life on life's terms **** that I had to experience.
Some of the wrackages where of my own doing. Other wreackeage where other people's doing.
Abandonment, abused, neglected, divorced, toxic relationships, children died, people dying on me
being unemployed after 25 plus years of working all my life......and on and on.

I don't really have an answer for you or anyone else.
Heck sometimes I can't even figure out my own answers...
I do know this....

1, I'm going to dIE.
2, I must live until I died.
3...everything else in between is a fucken option.
In other words....I have a chioce. I'm free to live and belive as I wish.
Sometime life knocked me on my ass.
I'm getting up today becuase being miserable was a mother ****** too and I cant do that misery **** anymore.
Something inside of me fucken snapped.
Life gose on as long as I'm alive. If I have to live any of it for whatever the **** how long my life is
going to last. I'm making a chioce to be happy NOW and Always. **** IT !!!..I'm tired of all the ********.

May you too find happiness and love in this thing or journey call life.
Be well

 

[tehdreamer]

Thanks Lonesome Crow. I'm trying my best to fight my depression again and not to stay down. I guess that's why I really can't handle people befriending me, then turning around and planning to die. I'm fighting. They should be fighting too. I can be a support for them if they plan to fight, but I can't be drug down into the darkness if they plan not to fight.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^I agree with that.

It's nice to be there for others, but that doesn't require us to be pulled down by them.

 

[jasonprince]

Emotional stability is measured in the same way in all. If a person is stable, they can deal with emotional situations without losing their composure. A stable person can discuss different opinions calmly and see your side of things.