Why do guys do this?

[heyitsme]

My ex boyfriend of just about over a week has proven to be the biggest prick ever..

We dated for 4 years and just broke up because all we'd been doing was fighting and arguing with each other. We agreed that we really didn't want to break up but that soon we would be strangling each other..he continued to profess his love for me, saying how sad he was that we weren't really talking, how much he missed me, etc.
Yesterday he called me for the first time in a few days. While we were talking his phone cut off..then for 24 hours his phone proceeded to go straight to voicemail. I had no idea what happened..did he get in a car wreck? Who knows. I was a frantic mess. I left two voicemails throughout the day urging him to call me back as soon as he could to at least let me know he was okay.
I called him again a bit ago and to my amazement his phone rang. He answered for about five seconds and then hung up again. The sad part: he was obviously at a party, as I heard girls screaming and people shouting, the general banter of a party. I called him right back and he didn't answer, I called again and he had turned his phone off.

My heart is crushed..all I wanted to know was that he was okay, and he ignored me to continue partying. Why, when just days ago he was talking about how much he loved and missed me. How could he do that to someone who he dated for four years of his life..I just don't understand why guys can be so insensitive sometimes

 

[IgnoredOne]

My ex boyfriend of just about over a week has proven to be the biggest prick ever..

We dated for 4 years and just broke up because all we'd been doing was fighting and arguing with each other. We agreed that we really didn't want to break up but that soon we would be strangling each other..he continued to profess his love for me, saying how sad he was that we weren't really talking, how much he missed me, etc.
Yesterday he called me for the first time in a few days. While we were talking his phone cut off..then for 24 hours his phone proceeded to go straight to voicemail. I had no idea what happened..did he get in a car wreck? Who knows. I was a frantic mess. I left two voicemails throughout the day urging him to call me back as soon as he could to at least let me know he was okay.
I called him again a bit ago and to my amazement his phone rang. He answered for about five seconds and then hung up again. The sad part: he was obviously at a party, as I heard girls screaming and people shouting, the general banter of a party. I called him right back and he didn't answer, I called again and he had turned his phone off.

My heart is crushed..all I wanted to know was that he was okay, and he ignored me to continue partying. Why, when just days ago he was talking about how much he loved and missed me. How could he do that to someone who he dated for four years of his life..I just don't understand why guys can be so insensitive sometimes

Not just guys, but in general. People can be ********. He clearly wasn't being honest about something and maybe h ewas trying to spare your feelings before. Either way, its time to move on.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

He's on crack, dope, or a total fucken drunk. Probably a combination of everything.
it dosnt just pretains to males.

If you reserch on drugs and alcohol abuse.
It'll explain the erratic behaviors, arguments, balmeshifting and all that
bullshit. i might be wrongs...but there's millions of men and women
just like him...tons and tons of literature on the subject matter.

Cant cure or fix people like that..You're better off moving on with your life.
Of course it hurts...It'll hurt oneway or the other.
It'll hurt longer if you decide to staying in the relationship...
You'll go even battier or suffer PSTD becuase of all the lies, emotional manipulations, mind games..etc
Ask me how I know about these stupid things I write?

 

[allanh]

I am sorry that he is being such a dick and inconsiderate.

I know that I would never do this to anyone (e.g. hanging up the phone for no good reason) let alone some I care about

 

[happyman]

So just move on? I am sure next week you will find another guy.

Kids these days, move very fast.

 

[Badjedidude]

Why can guys be so insensitive?

Another way of phrasing this question would be why are women so sensitive?

Or better yet:

Why is this particular male so insensitive?

Just keep in mind that not every guy is like that.

 

[rosebud]

People are ********. Don't stereotype all males though, some of us can be decent if we want to. Have you thought about that maybe it's he's way of dealing with the breakup? Not everyone cope with the same issues the same way. Is this the first time he was partying hard, because if it's not then you shouldn't be that surprised. Every relationship goes through sh!t like that, the trick here is if the relationship is worth fighting for somebody will always step up and try to save it. If you don't feel like it's worth it, you should just put the last four years behind your back and move on.

 

[Rolo]

People are ********. Don't stereotype all males though, some of us can be decent if we want to. Have you thought about that maybe it's he's way of dealing with the breakup? Not everyone cope with the same issues the same way. Is this the first time he was partying hard, because if it's not then you shouldn't be that surprised. Every relationship goes through sh!t like that, the trick here is if the relationship is worth fighting for somebody will always step up and try to save it. If you don't feel like it's worth it, you should just put the last four years behind your back and move on.

There is a good point here- maybe it is just his way of coping with all the emotions and stuff- some people find comfort in other people and keep busy to take their mind off it, others dont-the coping strategies are as diverse as the peoples of the world.
Or maybe he is just a prick and has gone right back out there. The stuff he said may have just been a way of keeping you in reserve just in case. (Im sorry, i hope you dont take that as offensive, it wasnt meant to be, just i couldnt find a way of describing it).

If it was me in your position, I would try move on. I know it must be really hard, but there is no point dwelling on him. Dont get hung up thinking about him and what he has done, it will make you feel worse for longer. When you are ready, you will find a better person.

 

[ShybutHi]

Maybe he is just not sure how to deal with it or maybe he is being an ass. Dont stereotype all guys just because of your ex boyfriend though... Everyone is different and deal with these things differently.

 

[dustii80]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I had one of those back about 8 years ago. He was just totally insensitive. I just left him flat. Some people you just have to walk away from cause they will just keep breaking your heart. I hope this all works out for you.

 

[condemnedsoul666]

I've never been an ass like that, the only two 'girlfriends' i've had asked me out and then ended up just getting a new boyfriend, without telling me we were done with first, so girls can be ******** too, I haven't had a gf since

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I doubt guys are the only ones who do what you described. If your ex was as devastated as he claims. Then this was the best solution. It is easier to just rip the bandage off, then to let it slowly fall off. He is doing exactly what I would do. He wants to be over you. You should want the same.

 

[Limlim]

I didn't have access to a phone when I broke up with my last girlfriend, so I did it via hand written letter and hit the strip club the second it hit the mailbox.

I suppose I could have been nicer and waited until it got to her, or waited 2 more months when I'd have access to a phone. But what would that change? I didn't like her anymore. Did I feel like an *******? Not really, but then again I'm sure most ******** don't.

Not sure where I was going with that, but somehow it feels like this is topical to the conversation.

 

[Trojan]

Have to say I would do that also, I can't be bothered sitting on my own dwelling on stuff, feeling lonely. Would rather go out and have a good time and not have to think about it. I like to procrastinate, maybe he's the same. He may have been professing his love for you as he's scared of losing you, scared of the impact not being with you will have on his life. 4 years is a long time

For the record, that was in reply to frozen soul, not limlim, you absolute *Edit*.
Jokin lulz

 

[AFrozenSoul]

The best way to get over someone is to find someone new.

 

[Peter Lorre]

I didn't have access to a phone when I broke up with my last girlfriend, so I did it via hand written letter and hit the strip club the second it hit the mailbox.

I suppose I could have been nicer and waited until it got to her, or waited 2 more months when I'd have access to a phone. But what would that change? I didn't like her anymore. Did I feel like an *******? Not really, but then again I'm sure most ******** don't.

Not sure where I was going with that, but somehow it feels like this is topical to the conversation.

lol

 

[Limlim]

For the record, that was in reply to frozen soul, not limlim, you absolute *Edit*.
Jokin lulz

rofl!