Why do I do this?!

[wallflower]

Hi everyone,

So, I seriously think I have a problem. I've never actually had a best friend as such, but I've had a few come close. My problem is, that as soon as a person breaks the barrier from close friends to becoming my best friend, I unconsciously search for little issues I dislike about them and magnify them. For instance in grade 12, within the first 6 months of knowing this girl, we got along famously. But after about a year, I decided I thought she was 'annoying' me and just started ignoring her. At the time though, I thought what I was doing was completely rational. And as you may have guessed, we are not friends any more. I also have another close friend now, and recently we've been spending almost every weekday together at university and I find myself finding little things about her (such as the way she laughs) to be annoying. I fear I'll be losing another close friend if I continue my stupid behaviour. As I mentioned above, I thought what I was doing to the first girl was rational at the time, what if I find something just as ridiculous as the way my current friend laughs a legitimate reason to break up our friendship this time round? I'm scaring myself.

Sorry if it's confusing!

 

[IgnoredOne]

You evidently have intimacy issues.

 

[Dessa]

Yeah, going out of your way to find the little things you dislike about a person. Pushing them away. I always thought I did that so that I did the rejecting instead of being rejected. Assuming control. You've been betrayed by someone close more than once and it's hard to let anyone in anymore. You're not alone and I'm a pm away if you ever need to talk to someone.

 

[Ak5]

Anti-social. Your mind is pushing her away.

Try to think things clear? WHY do you dislike her? If it really is simple reasons, as you said, the way she laughs. Then go to a psychologist, because we can't offer advice on that scale. Your good at making friends, you don't need us. All you have trouble is that your pushing them away for some odd reason. A psychologist and your in the clear.