Why do i feel even more lonely because i've turned 30?

[user 164061]

As the title says i've just turned 30, but due to many factors regarding my health i can't meet a woman. I have had anxiety since August 2010, but for 7 of those years i've had depression which outweighs the anxiety and i cannot work because of this. I've tried CBT twice, the first time my "therapist" didn't listen to anything i said then proceeded to say i was getting better which i wasn't. Then about 7 months ago i tried the online variant of CBT which was mega boring and it nearly put me to sleep. I'll do talking therapy soon so i hope that helps. But for some reason i feel even more low/sad since turning 30 because i've got nobody at all in a romantic sense. People who have hobbies, jobs, careers etc can meet people very easily and i was wondering how i can meet someone if i don't do those things? Because in my mind walking up to a woman in the street, giving compliments/being nice just makes me cringe and i feel it's not the right environment to do it in. I didn't think i could feel worse, but this loneliness is making me crazy.

 

[Finished]

Well, happy birthday anyway!

Yeah that sounds tough. I have no idea how to meet women when you don't do anything. I quit working and stayed away from others more then a decade ago. The few opportunities I had to meet women dropped to zero. Finding someone kind of requires to be social atleast to some degree.

Usually a good answer to loneliness is to hobby up. I know people meet others online when they find forums about their hobbies. Is there anything that you could possibly be interested in? Maybe your therapist can help you find interest in something.

 

[user 164061]

Well, happy birthday anyway!

Yeah that sounds tough. I have no idea how to meet women when you don't do anything. I quit working and stayed away from others more then a decade ago. The few opportunities I had to meet women dropped to zero. Finding someone kind of requires to be social atleast to some degree.

Usually a good answer to loneliness is to hobby up. I know people meet others online when they find forums about their hobbies. Is there anything that you could possibly be interested in? Maybe your therapist can help you find interest in something.

Thank you . I have got hobbies but i'd like to broaden my horizons, because once i've finished doing my hobbies i start feeling **** again. It's a constant loop of ********/depression really and as you said you need to be social to an extent to basically meet others. I was trying to learn some new languages, but brain fog from my depression stopped me doing that and meeting women thousands of miles away isn't ideal. At first it was ok flirting with them sometimes while learning but i want someone in my city really. Not a fan of bars etc late at night due to all the noise and i'm an introvert too, so it's going to be hard for me to meet someone i think.

 

[user 188685]

As the title says i've just turned 30, but due to many factors regarding my health i can't meet a woman. I have had anxiety since August 2010, but for 7 of those years i've had depression which outweighs the anxiety and i cannot work because of this. I've tried CBT twice, the first time my "therapist" didn't listen to anything i said then proceeded to say i was getting better which i wasn't. Then about 7 months ago i tried the online variant of CBT which was mega boring and it nearly put me to sleep. I'll do talking therapy soon so i hope that helps. But for some reason i feel even more low/sad since turning 30 because i've got nobody at all in a romantic sense. People who have hobbies, jobs, careers etc can meet people very easily and i was wondering how i can meet someone if i don't do those things? Because in my mind walking up to a woman in the street, giving compliments/being nice just makes me cringe and i feel it's not the right environment to do it in. I didn't think i could feel worse, but this loneliness is making me crazy.

Hey,happy belated birthday,I hope you had a great day,my birthday was on Saturday,I'm 40,as for any advice,I'm sorry,I don't have any,I don't even have or know any guys in my neighborhood,the only guy in my neighborhood,has never liked me,plus there is really no people my own age in my neighborhood,I have been single for 8 years.

 

[user 164061]

Hey,happy belated birthday,I hope you had a great day,my birthday was on Saturday,I'm 40,as for any advice,I'm sorry,I don't have any,I don't even have or know any guys in my neighborhood,the only guy in my neighborhood,has never liked me,plus there is really no people my own age in my neighborhood,I have been single for 8 years.

Happy late birthday to you too and i hope you had a great time . I've been single forever basically, because of health issues i've never been able to meet someone. So that's probably why the loneliness really bothers me on a great level.

 

[Awakening]

Just my opinion. Maybe the reason it feels worse now is because you hit a new stage in your life and it wasn't shared with anyone. I've noticed in life that one of the things that makes getting older easier is when you have someone with you to grow old together.

Perhaps that's part of the reason.

 

[user 164061]

Just my opinion. Maybe the reason it feels worse now is because you hit a new stage in your life and it wasn't shared with anyone. I've noticed in life that one of the things that makes getting older easier is when you have someone with you to grow old together.

Perhaps that's part of the reason.

To be honest i think that's what it is. Spending birthdays "alone, Xmas and other things too. I have family but it's not the same in my opinion.

 

[user 188522]

So sorry for your pain. Happy Birthday.

 

[WillPower]

I turned 30 recently too, and have the exact same feeling. It's hard, but don't give up. I'm never giving up. Not even when I get to my 40's or 50's. There's someone out there for everyone.

 

[Finished]

I turned 30 recently too, and have the exact same feeling. It's hard, but don't give up. I'm never giving up. Not even when I get to my 40's or 50's. There's someone out there for everyone.

I'm absolutely positive that they are several women out there that I would mesh really well with. The problem is I would have to go through several thousand to find them. And I no longer have the energy to deal with that.

 

[user 188685]

Happy late birthday to you too and i hope you had a great time . I've been single forever basically, because of health issues i've never been able to meet someone. So that's probably why the loneliness really bothers me on a great level.

thanks,to be honest,I like being alone,you get to a certain time,where you're just done with trying to meet someone,and I have been alone for such a long time that I'm just so used to it that I don't even want to meet anyone,I like not having to answer to anyone,and I like being able to do whatever I want to do.

 

[user 164061]

So sorry for your pain. Happy Birthday.

Thank you

 

[user 164061]

thanks,to be honest,I like being alone,you get to a certain time,where you're just done with trying to meet someone,and I have been alone for such a long time that I'm just so used to it that I don't even want to meet anyone,I like not having to answer to anyone,and I like being able to do whatever I want to do.

In the past i was the same. But because so much time has gone by and i've shared it with no one special it bothers me a lot now which is weird.

 

[user 164061]

I turned 30 recently too, and have the exact same feeling. It's hard, but don't give up. I'm never giving up. Not even when I get to my 40's or 50's. There's someone out there for everyone.

I think it's even harder when you've had no one at all ever lol. I've been "liked" by women online and when i was younger it was nice, but now i just want something real.

 

[user 164061]

I'm absolutely positive that they are several women out there that I would mesh really well with. The problem is I would have to go through several thousand to find them. And I no longer have the energy to deal with that.

I have no energy to meet other people too. I have a bit of energy for a companion though

 

[Finished]

I have no energy to meet other people too. I have a bit of energy for a companion though

Exact! It would be great for someone to find someone compatible with me and say here you go. This is your new mate. Enjoy!

 

[user 164061]

Exact! It would be great for someone to find someone compatible with me and say here you go. This is your new mate. Enjoy!

How i wish it was that easy . But life is a ***** it seems and things are never that easy

 

[user 188685]

How i wish it was that easy . But life is a ***** it seems and things are never that easy

very true

 

[user 164061]

I say to myself "reality isn't a film and you can't just walk up to a woman in the street and flirt". Because i did i'd probably get laughed at, kicked in the balls or be given a black eye

 

[WillPower]

I think it's even harder when you've had no one at all ever lol. I've been "liked" by women online and when i was younger it was nice, but now i just want something real.

I've never had anyone either. I mean, I've gone out on some dates, but it's never led anywhere. I've never had a girlfriend. So I'm in the same boat as you.

I say to myself "reality isn't a film and you can't just walk up to a woman in the street and flirt". Because i did i'd probably get laughed at, kicked in the balls or be given a black eye

I have had some of the harshest rejections when approaching women. I've had a girl just say , "No, uh uh" before I could even get a word out like I was beneath her. A lot of people are just downright mean. But I still try. Cause I would regret it more if I didn't make any attempt at all.