why do we ever feel lonely?

[silver birch leaves]

I can't figure out an answer. Why do we ever feel lonely? Where does this feeling come from? Is there any purpose of it?

I'm sorry for bothering you

 

[Felix]

Why the apologie? those are very good questions... I ask them to myself sometimes... and every loner should...

I believe I can speak only for myself... I feel lonely becose I'd like do spend more time with other people, but I can't for my lack of social skills probably... I guess the consecuence of that frustration is what we call lonliness, feeling separated from the rest of the world...

I'm pretty sure my shrink would say loneliness is actually helpful. Why? just like pain tells you that you are hurting yourself, loneliness tells you that something isn't right. That you need to get in touch with more ppl. Of course it's not that easy, but my opinion is that the feeling of loneliness is pretty much like a wake up call to make you try to be more sociable. Some persons seek to change, others don't and get depressed. I depends on how you take it.

 

[Ak5]

People need other people to survive. There is no other answer.

 

[thalassa]

It is one of those warning signals telling you your emotional needs are not being met, which are of extreme importance for survival, functioning and overall wellbeing.

It is also a sign that you are normal and healthy - serious creeps lack the feeling of loneliness and don't care about anyone.

What I don't understand is why it stays lingering over me for over 10 years straight now. Can't it see that I am in such a bad position I can't find actual satisfying human relationships, that I've tried and they've screwed me over so much I don't trust anyone anymore.

No wait, it has kind of warped into chronic emptiness and some form of depression.

I don't like these 00's, I really don't. To me the worthwhile times in history were when we lived in these groups and clans and had intense interactions with each other. I actually feel like I really need that, so sometimes I feel like I'm living in the wrong era or even on the wrong continent as some (poorer) ones still live in groups. The selfish money grabbing values here, like 'achieving' something don't appeal to me at all. I'd rather be happy and that requires other people who I can really connect with, who will become my 'soul family'.

 

[floffyschneeman]

we feel lonely because we don't know what we want, so it's harder to get them.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Sometimes I wish I were schizotypal so I couldn't feel loneliness.

 

[Ozcaptain]

It is one of those warning signals telling you your emotional needs are not being met, which are of extreme importance for survival, functioning and overall wellbeing.

This makes sense to me. It also gives me a better sense of where I'm at. Thanks.

I am sorry about the overall tone of your post. Your isolation sounds partly self-imposed and partly because your previous experiences have left you gun-shy. Maybe you need to ease up on your expectations of yourself. You've been injured; don't expect your relationships to be marathon-ready quite yet.

Maybe look for fulfillment one conversation at a time, one distraction at a time, one nice moment at a time. Sure, having a soul family is a great concept, but the daily reality is that when you look back at a good day, it was usually filled with a few simple, small things. Just find a way to feel good.