Women less forgiving towards unattractive men.

[Xpendable]

I will tell you this though....I chose him (short and "unattractive") over a tall, "attractive" guy. So let's hear whatever ******** you have to tell me about why I did that.

The fact you put the word attractive with quotes makes me sure I can't trust what your vision of the concept is, so I can't know if we are in the same page. Therefore I don't possess enough information to post some ********.

---

I don't mind ugly men. As long as they have money...

Joke or not, I needed this

 

[TheRealCallie]

I will tell you this though....I chose him (short and "unattractive") over a tall, "attractive" guy. So let's hear whatever ******** you have to tell me about why I did that.

The fact you put the word attractive with quotes makes me sure I can't trust what your vision of the concept is, so I can't know if we are in the same page. Therefore I don't possess enough information to post some ********.

The fact that I put it in quotes indicates that most people would find the guy attractive, in fact many of my friends did and thought I was nuts for choosing the way I did and a few of them even dated the guy.

I chose not to dismiss people as attractive or unattractive until I get to know them. Do I think models are good looking...sure, most people do, but there is more to attraction than looks. I'm not sure why you can't understand, but whatever, I am who I am and attraction has very little to do with looks for me. It doesn't mean I'm settling or lowering my standards, it just means one does not have to be good looking for me to find them attractive. Instant attraction doesn't always happen and instant attraction doesn't always make a relationship good, so I choose to give people a chance before I dismiss them as attractive or unattractive.

 

[BeyondShy]

I don't mind ugly men. As long as they have money...

I got $75.41 on me right now.

Ching, ching. You win.

Thank you, thank you!

For you:

 

[TheRealCallie]

I don't mind ugly men. As long as they have money...

I got $75.41 on me right now.

Ching, ching. You win.

Thank you, thank you!

For you:

and now he has $0 lol

 

[VanillaCreme]

I don't mind ugly men. As long as they have money...

I got $75.41 on me right now.

Ching, ching. You win.

Thank you, thank you!

For you:

and now he has $0 lol

You can have the flowers. I'm not a flower girl. And I'll share the chocolates.

 

[Xpendable]

I chose not to dismiss people as attractive or unattractive until I get to know them. Do I think models are good looking...sure, most people do, but there is more to attraction than looks. I'm not sure why you can't understand, but whatever, I am who I am and attraction has very little to do with looks for me. It doesn't mean I'm settling or lowering my standards, it just means one does not have to be good looking for me to find them attractive. Instant attraction doesn't always happen and instant attraction doesn't always make a relationship good, so I choose to give people a chance before I dismiss them as attractive or unattractive.

Don't take it personal but every woman online says this. I beleive you; if that matters.

PD: Yes, I'll stop now.

 

[ardour]

I started a topic based on this study back in September, Kamya : http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=35168

It went nowhere and was quickly closed. People don't want to acknowledge this or even entertain the possibility of something that doesn't fit with their ideology. That and it's not a 'nice' thing to talk about.

 

[BeyondShy]

and now he has $0 lol

You can have the flowers. I'm not a flower girl. And I'll share the chocolates.

Great, now I find out. They're already on their way. :shy:

---

I started a topic based on this study back in May, Kamya : http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=35168

It went nowhere and was quickly closed. People don't want to acknowledge this or even entertain the possibility of something that doesn't fit with their ideology. That and it's not a 'nice' thing to talk about.

What do you mean it went no where quickly? It last nine pages.

 

[ardour]

What do you mean it went no where quickly? It last nine pages.

Nine pages of people dismissing it as a load of rubbish "I'm not listening to that crap" etc.

To be fair the study was confined to "socially unacceptable situations", not everyday scenarios.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I started a topic based on this study back in May, Kamya : http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=35168

It went nowhere and was quickly closed. People don't want to acknowledge this or even entertain the possibility of something that doesn't fit with their ideology. That and it's not a 'nice' thing to talk about.

I don't care about it being nice or not. It's not true for all of us. Believe what you want. But don't start thinking that it is true for all of us and then complain when you find nothing else on the matter. If that's all you look for, that's all you find.

 

[Xpendable]

What do you mean it went no where quickly? It last nine pages.

Nine pages of people dismissing it as a load of rubbish "I'm not listening to that crap" etc.

To be fair the study was confined to "socially unacceptable situations", not everyday scenarios.

Just revisiting the thread gave me a headache.

 

[kamya]

I started a topic based on this study back in September, Kamya : http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=35168

It went nowhere and was quickly closed. People don't want to acknowledge this or even entertain the possibility of something that doesn't fit with their ideology. That and it's not a 'nice' thing to talk about.

Ah well. I should have known how the thread would go and never bothered to start it in the first place. I also didn't realize a topic had already been started before.

 

[Batman55]

Ah well. I should have known how the thread would go and never bothered to start it in the first place. I also didn't realize a topic had already been started before.

What do you aim to get out of this? Hanging onto cynical beliefs, true or not, is not going to increase your chances with the opposite sex. It's very likely to do the opposite.

Perhaps you just needed to vent? in that case, I understand.. but don't obsess on this. You cannot change anything.

I guarantee if you were a 6'5" guy with a rugged, handsome appearance, and you had this same negative attitude, you'd do as well with women as you are right now. The attitude is more important.

 

[Xpendable]

I guarantee if you were a 6'5" guy with a rugged, handsome appearance, and you had this same negative attitude, you'd do as well with women as you are right now. The attitude is more important.

I disagree, negativity can be beared with attractiveness. As well as other "negative" traits. I've seen it.

 

[Triple Bogey]

And then you have those that THINK they are unattractive but really aren't.....where do they fit into this kind of study?

it's different for them. People like that need to work on attitude, personality and confidence and choosing the right person.

For us unattractive people (and I am in that group) we don't get chances, we don't attract people.

---

And then you have those that THINK they are unattractive but really aren't.....where do they fit into this kind of study?

It's a sad day when I'm hoping I'm one of those people. Never heard anyone say I'm attractive though, and I doubt anyone ever will.

Let's see you

Let's see you as well !

---

How many of you would be willing to date someone without a job, or someone who still lives at home with their parents in adulthood, if they were attractive as opposed to someone you thought was unattractive?

Depends on the circumstances on the job front. If they were looking for a job, that would be one thing, but if they are just living with their parents because they are lazy and don't feel they shouldn't have to work because mommy and daddy will take care of him, that's quite another.

As for living with parents, I don't see a huge problem with that.

I don't give a **** what you look like, so my answer is the same for "attractive" and "unattractive" people.

Would you even date someone you thought was unattractive? Don't lie.

I have and I would again.

means nothing. I know I am extremely unattractive and women aren't interested. No matter how confident or happy I am.

---

I don't mind ugly men. As long as they have money...

another silly joke in a serious debate :club:

---

I will tell you this though....I chose him (short and "unattractive") over a tall, "attractive" guy. So let's hear whatever ******** you have to tell me about why I did that.

The fact you put the word attractive with quotes makes me sure I can't trust what your vision of the concept is, so I can't know if we are in the same page. Therefore I don't possess enough information to post some ********.

The fact that I put it in quotes indicates that most people would find the guy attractive, in fact many of my friends did and thought I was nuts for choosing the way I did and a few of them even dated the guy.

I chose not to dismiss people as attractive or unattractive until I get to know them. Do I think models are good looking...sure, most people do, but there is more to attraction than looks. I'm not sure why you can't understand, but whatever, I am who I am and attraction has very little to do with looks for me. It doesn't mean I'm settling or lowering my standards, it just means one does not have to be good looking for me to find them attractive. Instant attraction doesn't always happen and instant attraction doesn't always make a relationship good, so I choose to give people a chance before I dismiss them as attractive or unattractive.

coming on here and banging on how you dated some ugly bloke means bugger all to me. Nobody is interested in me. My attitude is going to change when (if) a woman agrees to go out with me. Or I hear women talking about how nice a guy is instead of how good looking he is.

A good looking man, who has no personality, no opinion about anything, never speaks, no interests has way more chance than any ugly bloke.

Ugly people just have to be very, very lucky. Meeting that once person who is perfect for them.

 

[ThatZealousOne]

Hmm, perhaps we've drifted off topic a little. Still, I feel that because of societal expectations, being ugly in itself is against the social norm. Now that would be an interesting study. Still, I'll tail off a few points, apologies for making folks go off topic. Like I said earlier, it's something I feel quite strongly about.

You know what? That's exactly how I feel and it's why I would never post mine in the Let's see the faces! thread.

There are a few people here on this forum that I sent my photo to in the past and they all reported back to me their monitor began acting funny as soon as they viewed it. They threatened to send me the bill for a new one.

True story.

Wow... Now I'm definitely not doing that, heh. Seriously, least they could have said a straight answer. Unless there was genuinely something wrong with the file... I doubt that though.

means nothing. I know I am extremely unattractive and women aren't interested. No matter how confident or happy I am.

Actually, studies have been done which show that positive thinking works wonders. Most famously when a bunch of christian scientists tried to prove that prayer worked. Sounds funny, but thinking you will succeed means that you're more likely to take chances which lead to you eventually succeeding. I mean, you know, it's pretty relative all things considering, but it does help in some small way.

 

[kamya]

I guarantee if you were a 6'5" guy with a rugged, handsome appearance, and you had this same negative attitude, you'd do as well with women as you are right now. The attitude is more important.

I would have no reason to have a negative attitude in the first place if that were the case. I wasn't born with a negative attitude. I don't walk around day to day with a super negative attitude either. Sometimes it will creep up internally but its not super often. Im fully aware that I cant change anything about this stuff. Just have to get over it really. Pretend everything I post here is written as anonymous journal entries. Nothing more.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Hmm, perhaps we've drifted off topic a little. Still, I feel that because of societal expectations, being ugly in itself is against the social norm. Now that would be an interesting study. Still, I'll tail off a few points, apologies for making folks go off topic. Like I said earlier, it's something I feel quite strongly about.

You know what? That's exactly how I feel and it's why I would never post mine in the Let's see the faces! thread.

There are a few people here on this forum that I sent my photo to in the past and they all reported back to me their monitor began acting funny as soon as they viewed it. They threatened to send me the bill for a new one.

True story.

Wow... Now I'm definitely not doing that, heh. Seriously, least they could have said a straight answer. Unless there was genuinely something wrong with the file... I doubt that though.

means nothing. I know I am extremely unattractive and women aren't interested. No matter how confident or happy I am.

Actually, studies have been done which show that positive thinking works wonders. Most famously when a bunch of christian scientists tried to prove that prayer worked. Sounds funny, but thinking you will succeed means that you're more likely to take chances which lead to you eventually succeeding. I mean, you know, it's pretty relative all things considering, but it does help in some small way.

yes of course positive thinking helps.
I think what we are saying it's a lot easier for an attractive person to meet somebody. For an ugly it's harder, not impossible though.

---

I guarantee if you were a 6'5" guy with a rugged, handsome appearance, and you had this same negative attitude, you'd do as well with women as you are right now. The attitude is more important.

I would have no reason to have a negative attitude in the first place if that were the case. I wasn't born with a negative attitude. I don't walk around day to day with a super negative attitude either. Sometimes it will creep up internally but its not super often. Im fully aware that I cant change anything about this stuff. Just have to get over it really. Pretend everything I post here is written as anonymous journal entries. Nothing more.

I was never negative when I was younger either.
Overall I am an upbeat person. Always happy, jolly, gets on with everybody.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Do we even want to go into how less forgiving are men towards unattractive women? What to do, the world is a bad place.

Yes, the same can be said about men towards women. These kinds of ideas are pointless imo. How about changing it to how unforgiving people are towards the unattractive in general...

Or how about we focus on what good things we all possess and how we can exhibit them to others so that no matter what or how you look, you'd still be attractive to others?

attractive people don't understand what unattractive people have to put up with.

---

Having not read up on the subject and the relevant research I can't really take an opinion. This was one study, which does seem a little vague in it's methodology. I wonder if there are better ones out there on a similar subject.

Still, I always regard myself as an ugly person. I have taken steps to improve my body image, but ultimately I was dealt a crap hand when it came to looks and it's probably one of the biggest sources of my general unhappiness. I'm never going to be able to change it though. In my limited experience with relationships and dating, I have found that despite being horrible guys, women will always prefer the attractive guy over the unattractive guy who's actually quite nice. I remember most girls I've shown an interest in visibly shuddering at the idea of being close to me. That wasn't exactly great for my already limited confidence. In fact I'm pretty sure I harbour some sort of resentment against women in general for it. Which is horrible, but... well. People hurt me too many times like that and it's not so easily forgotten.

Sure, there are people who say they don't care about looks, and fine. You say that then I'll believe you, but I'm taking it with a pinch of salt. I've never met, face to face, anyone with that outlook. I question if such a person really exists, or if it's something they just say.

I don't know, I'd like to think it's the case where looks are a factor, but they're not all that important. Or something like that. Unfortunately this isn't the case I've experienced. Quite a personal subject for me I'm afraid so... yeah, heh.

I believe you. I think you are right, 100%.
Attractive people coming on here and saying 'blah, blah, blah - it's not true' - they have no idea, not a clue. They don't understand. Judging by that let's see the faces thread, many people on here are attractive. So I don't think they really qualify posting on this thread.

---

I have never once thought I was attractive. I have always thought I'm unattractive, physically mostly. I am just too ashamed to even mention it at all. It sounds like you may not agree though.

I really don't know what to say to your post here. I just know it didn't help me feel any better, just as outcasted as you would be feeling right now about being unattractive. I don't feel welcome responding in this thread so I guess I'll just stop here.

 

[Xpendable]

I was never negative when I was younger either.
Overall I am an upbeat person. Always happy, jolly, gets on with everybody.

Me too. I've said before no one would think of me as negative in real life. That's because I don't share the thoughts I have here in everyday life. That's why I think being negative or positive is not such a determinant factor, when a girl likes you she just does. I talked to girls about their boyfriends flaws and they always get defensive and make mental gymnastic to justify their shortcomings. When a woman likes a guy, she will delude herself to think he can't do no wrong.