I've been INCEL lonely 99% of my life. I mean INCEL in the old-school meaning of the word, before that word got redefined to include the belief that one has a right to sex. (I keep having to capitalize the whole word INCEL to prevent the auto spell check from changing it to intel.) And I often wonder whether my loneliness has made me insane to some degree - insane as in "unable to see reality". Has my misery bent my mind? I don't know. it has certainly shaped my perspective on social reality.
I live in welfare poverty so I can't afford psychotherapy. I can't hire someone to tell me whether I've lost much contact with reality.
I write a blog that nobody reads and it has me worried that my writings scare people away, like, it may make the reader worry that I'm a psycho who might hurt them if they make a comment I disagree with or something. I feel like I'm scary or stupid or boring.
I view myself as doomed to live the rest of my life suffering with INCEL loneliness. And the best I can do is write about it on my way to death, in my blog and in my private journal.
I live in welfare poverty so I can't afford psychotherapy. I can't hire someone to tell me whether I've lost much contact with reality.
I write a blog that nobody reads and it has me worried that my writings scare people away, like, it may make the reader worry that I'm a psycho who might hurt them if they make a comment I disagree with or something. I feel like I'm scary or stupid or boring.
I view myself as doomed to live the rest of my life suffering with INCEL loneliness. And the best I can do is write about it on my way to death, in my blog and in my private journal.