mgill said:
VanillaCreme said:
Nicolelt said:
mgill said:
i am pretty ripped from a very clean vegan diet & intense weight training. i am also very healthy (have not been to a doctor in around 20 years), make over 6 figures & have zero debt. my head is already shaved and has been for a long time. i actually have a pretty good life aside from having zero success with women. i feel i have done just about everything already yet have only had rejections.
This makes me sad. I believe you, I just don't understand why a woman would not want to date you. If you are living a healthy life, making (what would be in my area) a really good living, and have no debt. I bet you probably own a home too. I feel like even the most desperate women would want that security in their life. I'm sorry.
It's the attitude.
i think this is the go to for many women when they refuse to accept that looks & height are such a determining factor. women seem to love all ranges of guys with all types of attitudes as long as they are tall & good looking. a good looking bad boy can do just about anything & still be considered very attractive. an average or below average man has to be perfect in every way in order to even have a chance. even then, one minor flaw & women jump all over it claiming that is why he is not having any success when it's really all about his physical appearance. all of this is just more proof of the Halo Effect.
I can agree that a lot of people in general are very shallow and even more so when choosing a partner. They do not look past the exterior and judge people based only upon what they instantly see.. however this problem is more than a man or woman problem but a human problem. While it is very unfortunate that you have dealt with so many negative aspects of how women can be, it is somewhat biased of a opinion to state all of them choose a partner with such shallow intentions.
I love all ranges of good human beings, the way you look doesn't mean a thing to me as it shouldn't matter to you.. but as I stated before it is very human like to desire certain features and what's considered beautiful at the time. It is a huge generalization to say that men who are more "attractive" can do anything or get away with anything. I've seen and interacted with some very handsome men that had absolutely no personality whatsoever and were quite unsuccessful terrible people, AND/OR were just a straight up d-hole. I didn't "choose them over someone less attractive" because I don't measure someone's beauty by the face I see but by the character of a person, how they treat others, how they treat themselves, etc.
The man I was married to for 9 years was balding, overweight, short, was in debt for being financially irresponsible, had no drive, less than average looking as you put it. I married this person because I thought he was a good person and we got along (sounds like a terrible reason to marry but he made me laugh) but point being I later found he in fact was a piece of garbage with an even more fowl personality. The 2 year relationship with my ex-boyfriend I had after the marriage was not very much different, except this guy was very successful, had a decent head on his shoulders, great personality, great job, less than average looking guy that was the same height as me (5'6) This dude turned out to be pretty messed up, mentally and physically abusive and a serial cheater. I need not get into the other d-holes I have had dealings with and bland cookie cutter types.. and that is not to say that I have not given people chances and found that I just could not vibe with them.
[font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]My point with telling you all of that personal junk [/font][font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif]is that I have had terrible damn luck in finding a partner who had a good PERSONALITY. Was a GOOD HUMAN BEING.. who gives a crap about what you look like. Besides you and the people who probably don't really deserve to know you anyway. Change your mind set[/font][font=Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif].. it will make a huge difference in peoples portrayal of you(not that it entirely matters but having a positive attitude is very attractive.) because the way you perceive yourself and your reality will no longer be the same, when the mind goes, the body follows.. Step into the light my friend.. [/font]
Being in a relationship and seeking one is not just about the obtainability... it is about the journey of finding them, knowing them in your minds eye without barriers, without a face, without all of this sh*t that keeps people from genuinely getting to know someone and letting go of all of our skewed ideologies of what someone needs to be for us and what we need to be for them, be your self, know your self.
Being in a relationship and finding someone you can really CONNECT with on more than a physical level is so rare.. why do you think all of these people get into relationships with just anybody and don't GAF about anything besides what they look like? They are lonely, too, and deep down these shallow people know they are shallow.. they know all of the things that make them insecure, have no talent or ability for abstract or critical thought and they fill that void by doing the only thing they know how to.. be mindless with someone else who is mindless. Just to not be alone, incapable of ever being able to embrace being alone because they would have to face themselves which is the hardest thing to do when you don't like who you are and actually applying that insight to make a change is even harder.
I wish you many positive vibes friend.
