You guys are not alone and you do not understand

[Sci-Fi]

+1 for Floffy, very well put.

I didn't see Callie as being rude either, just being blunt and honest.

We all go through things and experience things differently. For one person to say "I'm worse off than you" or "You don't know what being like X feels like" etc is not only ignorant of someone else feelings but inconsiderate as well. For each of us, whatever it is that we are going through is for us, at that moment, the worst thing ever even if it doesn't seem like it to someone else. For another person to tell you that it's not is very rude in itself.

Everyone is different, and we should all be treated equally whether we feel we are worse off than others or not. Just like the young people who come on here and post, to some of us older people they just might come off as whiny teens/preteens. But for them they don't see it that way because they are having trouble understanding what it is that they are going through. They feel the same as anyone else on here, even if their problem isn't as great as someone else.

I don't come on here and post my problems to hear someone say "I'm worse off than you" that is not what this site is about. I want to read about other peoples experiences and how they dealt with their issues and maybe find a way to get through my own. Not to be belittled as not having it so bad by someone else.

 

[Haz]

it's all relative

I am not a firm believer in the ability to grasp objective truth especially when people are suffering cognitive disorders and chemical imbalances that filters information through their brain a certain way

the worst thing is, I feel the same resentment as the OP at times when I see people I know bitching about trivial things that make their life so difficult, yeah we are all middle class white people and we generally have a high standard of living. still, I can't put labels on the emotions people feel or understand the depths of why they feel that way, the human mind is complicated business. My depression is unique to me.

 

[nerdygirl]

Callie was being rude? Oh, man. Don't read any of MY posts...

 

[Angel52]

I am totally alone.

I spend every waking moment alone and of course every sleeping moment!

I have no family and no friends.

What can we do? I am 54 years of age in August, I'm not a kid. Have made the effort all my life to make friends, only for them to dump me when they've had their fill of me, or used me up! Am not going through that anymore so alone I am and alone I always will be.

So I do know what you're talking about.

It is very hard and heart breaking.

 

[cumulus.james]

Learn that nothing matters. I am near half your age and in the same boat. I never have had and never will have a freind. I try to shuffle about this world in a selfsish state but that does not work. You have to be of value to people for them to bother with you. If you are rich and/or famous they you are of value. if you ae extremely cool and popular and can introduce them to new things then you are valuable. If you are the HR manager in thier workplace you are valuable.

With everyone who comes on here because they are lonly the fact is this: You have no value. The diffrence between being alone and being popular is what you have to give that they can take and use. All we can give is love and support. That is not good enough.

we are worthless and without purpose.

I am totally alone.

I spend every waking moment alone and of course every sleeping moment!

I have no family and no friends.

What can we do? I am 54 years of age in August, I'm not a kid. Have made the effort all my life to make friends, only for them to dump me when they've had their fill of me, or used me up! Am not going through that anymore so alone I am and alone I always will be.

So I do know what you're talking about.

It is very hard and heart breaking.

 

[Callie]

Learn that nothing matters. I am near half your age and in the same boat. I never have had and never will have a freind. I try to shuffle about this world in a selfsish state but that does not work. You have to be of value to people for them to bother with you. If you are rich and/or famous they you are of value. if you ae extremely cool and popular and can introduce them to new things then you are valuable. If you are the HR manager in thier workplace you are valuable.

With everyone who comes on here because they are lonly the fact is this: You have no value. The diffrence between being alone and being popular is what you have to give that they can take and use. All we can give is love and support. That is not good enough.

we are worthless and without purpose.

That's the most ****** up thing I've ever read. Just because I'm here doesn't mean I don't have value. EVERYONE has value, you just have to realize that you do, and until then, you will continue believe you are "worthless" as you put it.
I spent 7 years of my life being told how worthless I am and I'm just NOW starting to realize it's not true, so don't come on here and tell me and the people that are here that we are worthless, cuz that's ********.

And yes, NOW I am being rude.

 

[nerdygirl]

Wait, every time we post, we're giving two cents. So I'm worth at least $32.32, thank you very much.

But uhm, I get the feeling cumulus.james meant that people in general only deal with others who can benefit them, and that as we are lonesome... nobody sees us as beneficial. I suppose that must be somewhat accurate for those who are unemployed and without any acquaintances. Each person who posts here has some sort of value to me, though. Every post I read here, whether or not I agree with it, motivates and influences some aspect of my thought process, keeping me that much more human.

 

[mintymint]

Wait, every time we post, we're giving two cents. So I'm worth at least $32.32, thank you very much.

Lol Nerdy, I have $31.36 as of this post. Or wait, that means I'm out 31 bucks :club:

 

[21acceptedbeingalone]

I know where you are coming from cumulus.james. I am 22 and havent had a real friend probably all of my life. I've had acquaintances and people who were "friends" but really just kept me around to insult me and humiliate me for their own entertainment. Or I'd have people I'd think of as friends, but eventually they'd get bored of me and how shy/boring I was and would just abandon me too. So I know how you feel. Once I got to my first year of college I was so ******* drained of dealing with people. I just gave up trying to make friends. People are so fake at first. They pretend to have an interest in you , but they realize you arent' cool or interesting and abadono you in a second. I am sick of the ********.

I have lived as a loner for 4 years. I haven't had a friend this whole time. I have a few people on the internet I talk too, but they dont know my pathetic situation and how I am a complete loner. We dont talk about anything serious and dont actually know anything real about each other. We just talk about a shared hobby we have. So it helps me get a little bit of social interaction, but it is extremely hollow. I am nearly graudated from college now, with a stupid degree that probably wont help me with jobs very much. I just feel hopeless for the direction my life is heading. I don't know how long I can tolerate the way my life is. I've managed to almost feel satisfied with my isolation, but I cannot prevent the occasional bouts of extreme loneliness and depression I get every once in awhile. This week I have been feeling really low and is why I logged on here. I basically avoid the depression by avoiding thinking about my life situation. I just escape into my hobby of playing video games. I do want to change my situation. I want to have friends, I want a girlfriend. I just am such an introvert and am so socially retarded that I dont know how those goals would be possible to obtain. I have had acne for the past 10 years as well which makes it even harder to show my face to the world.

I come to this site hoping I can find other people in similar situations to me. Maybe I could make a true friend or girlfriend then. Maybe I am being stupid, but I hope maybe I can find someone who has experience the pain and loneliness I have felt. I feel that's the only way I can really make friends or find a significant other because normal people will just think I am a loser and weirdo and have nothing to do with me. When you are a loner, how are you supposed to magically become social? If people see you are alone I dont see how they will want anything to do with you. And I cannot see how any girl will want to have me as a boyfriend when they see how isolated from other people I have been.

I've never had a real girlfriend. In high school I had one for like a week, but I dont consider it a real relationship. Days after we got together she dumped me because she got made fun of for going out with me. After that I had pretty much no relationships. In college I had one girl who was interested me for a bit, but she realized I was a loser and ceased talking to me after a week. That is my relationship history and its so ******* pathetic. At 22, I don't know how I am supposed to rebound from a life of being isolated and not fitting in like this. I feel I'll be on my own for the rest of my life. I have been able to bear this situation for now, but I don't know if I could do so indefinitely.

Well ****, I am probably rambling now. But cumulus.james if you want to talk and see if maybe we could be friends I'd be up for it. I think your experience with life has been very similar to my own.

 

[floffyschneeman]

Learn that nothing matters. I am near half your age and in the same boat. I never have had and never will have a freind. I try to shuffle about this world in a selfsish state but that does not work. You have to be of value to people for them to bother with you. If you are rich and/or famous they you are of value. if you ae extremely cool and popular and can introduce them to new things then you are valuable. If you are the HR manager in thier workplace you are valuable.

With everyone who comes on here because they are lonly the fact is this: You have no value. The diffrence between being alone and being popular is what you have to give that they can take and use. All we can give is love and support. That is not good enough.

we are worthless and without purpose.

Wow, I feel so sorry for what has happened to you. It would take a very hard blow to make a man as cynical and as negative as you are. And I am not being sarcastic, I wish I was.

But have you ever thought that maybe people are different from each other? You have your own beliefs and I have mine. You choose to go about life with that perspective and I don't know if it has done you more good than bad. You cannot generalize people. Some may make friends to take advantage of people, to use them, but some are genuinely friendly.

Most of the times I feel worthless and at those times, I am more thankful for the people who try to be my friends or to show support, because it makes me think I don't have anything of worth that they can gain by being nice to me, but the fact that they are shows the good side of humanism. That they only want to be nice.


Think about it, you are lonely, don't you want to be friendly to someone suffering from similar depression or loneliness as you? Or you'd rather think of what you can gain from that person?

The world is mean and cruel, by being negative you are adding to the cruelty of the world, by being nice, you are making a change in your own little way, probably in your little world.

 

[mountains8]

"At 30 I sit in a room alone, I wonder about the town alone and I am terrified at night by the thoughts that I am halfway to death and have never ever lived."

I feel the same way bro. I feel like my life is not going any where. I feel like I am 30 and my parents are old and retiring soon. And they expect me to care for them or something but I have no money and i havent even llived my own life yet. YOu're not alone.

 

[LucieMay]

You know what cumulus james, I could have a pop at you an in fact many others on this board, who have no actual practical reason that keeps them locked in the house night after night alone... this house might as well be my prison. For me, it is because I am a full time single parent. For others it might be that they are disabled and unable physically to leave their house. I could post a whole rant about people who could be out there living and socialising (like you) but are squandering their precious free time by imprisoning themselves mentally in their house. But I won't, because I'm not a bitter and twisted person who takes out my pain on others. Take a ******* reality check and stop lashing out at other people.

 

[Depressedology]

james, the problem is: even if what you said was right, they would not understand.

it's all about the pain They feel in THEIR head, and how much THEY can endure it.

we should just comfort or help each other if we could.

relax, looked like you had a bad day.

 

[crayon man]

Loneliness is a terrible curse.
Its not loneliness with some people , its boredom.

Ive been alone now for 4 years , and its took a terrible tole on my life.
I have lost practically everything , including my son.

I keep going and hoping one day it will change.

Have tried joining groups etc , but i could never mix with other people even when i was younger.
I spend my day reading up and dreaming about `movies` and situations that they bring as a `escape` from what my life is.

The world is a lonely place even with people around you , they dont take any notice of you.

 

[Limlim]

It's true, I can usually stave it off if I am appropriately entertained. Or busy with work. Anything to keep my one track mind occupied really.

 

[nerdygirl]

I get a little confused reading your threads. You're incredibly alone, and none of us understand and you're afraid of losing your ability to speak... but at the same time, you've got a sister and niece who mean quite a lot to you, and you fear not seeing any longer. These two complaints don't go together.

 

[cumulus.james]

I get a little confused reading your threads. You're incredibly alone, and none of us understand and you're afraid of losing your ability to speak... but at the same time, you've got a sister and niece who mean quite a lot to you, and you fear not seeing any longer. These two complaints don't go together.

I am not close with my sister. I go along to see the baby and the only reason I ever see here is because of the baby. The baby is too young to develop a dislike for me yet. There’s a difference between making noises at a baby and having conversations with adults. I have nothing much to look forward to apart from seeing the baby. And the only hope I have is that I will become close with my niece and perhaps close with my sister somewhere along the way. If I have to move away I will likely not see much of either of them if ever.

I don’t speak to my family at all. When I go round my sisters I pretty much say hello and goodbye and that’s it.

I am loosing the ability to talk because when I speak to people have to repeat myself sometimes several times to be understood. I try very hard to speak as clearly as I can but some words for example anything with the letters ‘al’ in I struggle to say.

 

[paulo]

does it really mather what other people have or dont have.
is there a lonelyness competition going on i dont know about ??

most people here have worked and are working hard on getting and keeping what they have.
you will always have to work at every relationship to keep it.
even relationships with parents and sisters or brothers take work.

it really isnt fair to judge anyones lonelyness by what they have compared to what you have.

anyway.. your not really making any friends with this kind of attitude.
maybe you should look into that.

i know its not easy and i can see your not in a verry happy place right now.
but its up to you to change things.
insulting people isnt gonne do it though.

 

[cumulus.james]

does it really mather what other people have or dont have.
is there a lonelyness competition going on i dont know about ??

most people here have worked and are working hard on getting and keeping what they have.
you will always have to work at every relationship to keep it.
even relationships with parents and sisters or brothers take work.

it really isnt fair to judge anyones lonelyness by what they have compared to what you have.

anyway.. your not really making any friends with this kind of attitude.
maybe you should look into that.

i know its not easy and i can see your not in a verry happy place right now.
but its up to you to change things.
insulting people isnt gonne do it though.

I cant change things. Every time I see a door I want to go though it gets slammed in my face. I have been trying to move out and the agents have blacklisted me because I have a Cat! I live in the middle of nowhere so I cant actually do a damn thing while I’m here. I tried learning o drive then the doctor pumped me full of so many dodgy pills I’m not allowed to drive. So at the moment its like I actually cant move out this room. I live in the middle of fields with no friends and little in the way of family and no way to get to civilization.

Tell me, What can I do to change my life in a field lol!

 

[IgnoredOne]

Have you tried to talk to your doctor on what can be done to reduce your dosage so that you will be allowed to drive?