SpectraApocalypse
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2018
- Messages
- 82
- Reaction score
- 13
I recently moved out of my parent's house... Altough life should be better it's not. I always feel afraid and anxious that they're angry (because they are) that I left. I dwell on it constantly. I've attempted talking. They don't want to clearly. They just want me to come home. They've gone as far as to threaten to call the police (they cant because I'm 18). Although I know my reasoning for leaving, my stepdad's parenting techniques were toxic, is justified, I still feel guilty constantly. It has made my already bad depression even worse. I can't cope with any feelings. Most of the time I lay in bed and watch YouTube for long periods of time (sometimes an upwars of 15-16 hours on end without meals) to numb the pain. Even if I am up, doing something I enjoy, I one minute will be fine and then be hit with a thought about them or some other trigger that sends me on a downward spiral where I will abruptly stop what I'm doing and lay down and let all these feelings just build up. Sometimes it gets really bad and I'll sit there staring at a wall with my mouth hanging open and won't be able to build up a crumb of will to move or live. I don't know what to do. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone.