Trying to be a good friend

[Mr Seal The Albatros]

Hello!

So at some point, when I started to feel loneliness again, I decided to write down my thoughts. Looking over it, the biggest problems are:

1) Jealousy over not having a best friend.

2) Self-dislike for not being a good friend.

Thought I might as well turn to here for advice. Even if it doesn't work, worth a try am I right? Now here's the weird thing. When I'm in a good mood, I tend to brush these thoughts off as nothing. When I'm in a rough mood, I tend to exaggerate things. Because of this, I don't always believe my own conclusions. I DO however, believe what other people say, so I might as well ask:

- How do I know if I have a best friend?

- How do I know if I've been a good friend?

I believe if I know where the bar is raised, I can work towards that.

Thanks!

 

[Wayfarer]

Oh well I can't really help you, you know... I'm more or less (ok, less) the same than you.
In my opinion what you ought to do is to get to know people better, and find some you like or you like to be with. Though a 'best friend' is not as immediate as one might think. However, by doing so, and by thinking about what the other people might think about what you do or say, you may get a better understanding.

To make a long story short I believe that as long as I don't regret what I did or said, then I'm a good friend.

I also have moments when I'm angry or in a bad mood and sometimes I (verbally) lash out at people. I guess the best you can do then is say that you're sorry wholeheartedly. If you explain and they are your friends they will forgive/understand you.

 

[Therapon]

You know you have a best friend if they are giving you the most attention of all of their friends and they always try to show concern for you and give you the best advice they possibly can.

You know you're being a good friend if you're showing them concern and giving them the best advice you possibly can and aren't being selfish about things and bringing yourself into it always (though on occasion it's fair).

 

[ladyforsaken]

- How do I know if I have a best friend?

I think this mainly depends on how the friendship between you and the other person is like as well as what would you identify as a best friend?

To me, my best friend is someone who gets me, who tends to like the same things I do with some differences of course, who loves me the way I am, who's seen me at my worst and still stuck by, who shares my joys and success, who doesn't envy me, who tries to always motivate and encourage me all the way - and likewise, we have a mutual thing with each other.

- How do I know if I've been a good friend?

When you do good to your friend and for your friend, you're a good friend. Now, good can be small, or big. I suppose the key here is to be good to your friend consistently, continuously despite how they behave, you still try to be good to them if you care. That, I think, makes one a good friend.

Sometimes your friends might not acknowledge your good deeds or may not even be grateful. This does not mean you're not a good friend. You should be able to know it yourself what you've done, whether they're good or bad.

 

[Omnipotent Soul]

Exactly what ladyforsaken said. I can't give better advice than that.