What screws us up

[user 135067]

Take from this what you will.

 

[Claudia1794]

Ugh...I can’t make myself watch a video so I will just answer based on the question and not the video.

Being leashed and not being able to act on urges

 

[TheSkaFish]

I don't mean this as an attack, but something that I never understood was, I never got the difference between having no expectations, and giving up on life. If you have no expectations, if you give up on wanting anything, then why do anything? Because to do things, is to try to influence the outcome one way or another. Why not just input nothing, and just let whatever happens, happen, and if something or someone saves you then you're saved, and if nothing saves you then you're screwed, and that's just what happens.

It never seemed like a good approach to life, to me. It always seemed like, that's what people that live on the street do - they've given up on life, and are now all of their wants, indeed their whole world, is just fixated on a single point - their next drink or next hit of drugs. They have no expectations or desires out of life other than that.

And I don't mean that as a character fault, just an observation.

I just don't think it gets a person anywhere. Giving up on wanting things just lets life blow you wherever, and unless you're really lucky, it probably won't be anything good. It seems that most of the time, bad things happen on their own. Things always fall apart on their own, the world always comes up with new bullshit to torment us with on its own, new "progress". But unless you're really lucky, you have to make the good things happen yourself.

Maybe I just don't understand it, I don't know.


What do I think screws us up?

Incomplete information, misinformation, well-meaning but wrong information, misinterpreting the information.
Not knowing how things work and why, and what to do.

And not really taking the time to know ourselves and what's important to us - without that, how do you know what to aim for?

 

[Claudia1794]

I don't mean this as an attack, but something that I never understood was, I never got the difference between having no expectations, and giving up on life. If you have no expectations, if you give up on wanting anything, then why do anything? Because to do things, is to try to influence the outcome one way or another. Why not just input nothing, and just let whatever happens, happen, and if something or someone saves you then you're saved, and if nothing saves you then you're screwed, and that's just what happens.

It never seemed like a good approach to life, to me. It always seemed like, that's what people that live on the street do - they've given up on life, and are now all of their wants, indeed their whole world, is just fixated on a single point - their next drink or next hit of drugs. They have no expectations or desires out of life other than that.

And I don't mean that as a character fault, just an observation.

I just don't think it gets a person anywhere. Giving up on wanting things just lets life blow you wherever, and unless you're really lucky, it probably won't be anything good. It seems that most of the time, bad things happen on their own. Things always fall apart on their own, the world always comes up with new bullshit to torment us with on its own, new "progress". But unless you're really lucky, you have to make the good things happen yourself.

Maybe I just don't understand it, I don't know.


What do I think screws us up?

Incomplete information, misinformation, well-meaning but wrong information, misinterpreting the information.
Not knowing how things work and why, and what to do.

And not really taking the time to know ourselves and what's important to us - without that, how do you know what to aim for?

Is that what the video was about?
Expectations?

 

[TheSkaFish]

Is that what the video was about?
Expectations?

I think so. At least that's what I gathered from the comment section.
To be honest I only skimmed it, I was in the middle of some other things.

 

[Ima Lone]

I think so. At least that's what I gathered from the comment section.
To be honest I only skimmed it, I was in the middle of some other things.

Honesty, that's a rare find these days, thanks for yours!

 

[TropicalStarfish]

It's an 8 minute video with useful life wisdom. What screws us up, is whatever has messed our attention spans to oblivion. I hate the fact that a little over a decade ago, I could go on a wikipedia binge and read for 3 hours straight and wonder where the time went. Now, I often just skim things, and never really am able to fully digest anything.

We live in the age of the world wide web, where a vast majority of the worlds wisdom, is only a click away.

I guess it's sort of like, living in a house made out of diamonds and gold. You just stop noticing it.

--
As far as the video goes. Yeah, my grandmother once told me, "expect nothing and you won't be disappointed." It's good advice, that a lot of people need to hear; but, as usual, many won't. So the important question is, will I hear it? It's nothing I haven't known; but, it's one thing to hear it. It's another to experience it.

Of course it makes sense to not have expectations in regards to giving. A true gift is a gift that comes from the heart, of which, there is no expectation to be disappointed about when it is not met, and only gladness when it is received in kind.

But how do you do that, exactly?

How do you let go of bitterness, how do you let go of your despair, how do you accept things as they are, so that the pain and suffering caused by your sense of how you suppose they should be or wish they should be, doesn't make a bad situation worse?

I dunno. I'm sure it's doable, and has been done. But, I still don't know how.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Honesty, that's a rare find these days, thanks for yours!

I wasn't the one who found the video...check a few posts up!

 

[Ima Lone]

I wasn't the one who found the video...check a few posts up!

But you were honest in saying that you'd only skimmed through it.
Someone else might have said the thing was all BS. You were honest.
I saw that you weren't the OP. I just thought what you said was nice.

I haven't watched it yet but I plan to, honestly.

 

[Finished]

What screws us up - Bad politicians, fast food, drugs, lack of exercise, Walmart, Amazon, Ellon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Cancel Culture, and putting people into groups then making them victims of other groups (politics).

 

[Ima Lone]

What screws us up also holds us down and back.
I say we should unscrew whatever and whenever
we can, everything that's un-screwable.

 

[Intrama]

What screwed me up, and countless others, is the horrific abuse I suffered as a child.

 

[okidoke]

But how do you do that, exactly?

How do you let go of bitterness, how do you let go of your despair, how do you accept things as they are, so that the pain and suffering caused by your sense of how you suppose they should be or wish they should be, doesn't make a bad situation worse?

I dunno. I'm sure it's doable, and has been done. But, I still don't know how.

You refocus. Stop dwelling on the past and what could have been, the bad things in your life, etc etc. You recognise that the things you do dwell on are negative and detrimental and pointless to mull over. Those things are not important to you moving forward. Refocus on the things that matter, that benefit you, that inspire, that make you smile, that gives you pleasure, that provides contentment. It’s hard, no doubt about it, harder for some than others, but doable, for most. Some never accomplish it, but the even the effort alone might be enough to reduce the angst in one’s life.

What screwed me up, and countless others, is the horrific abuse I suffered as a child.

That is true. An awful consequence. But it can be overcome, for a lot of people, although some are beyond help, but those people would probably be those who probably couldn’t coherently communicate on a forum as this. I would suggest, perhaps incorrectly I admit, that anyone stringing coherent paragraphs in this forum has enough cognitive ability to overcome their past traumas and make positive progress in their lives to find an acceptable level of contentment.

I suffered abuse, admittedly not as bad as some people, but it screwed me up in ways I wasn’t even aware until later in my life, and from that recognition I was able to move forward and become cognisant of what and how I was contributing to the poor situations that I endured or caused as an adult. From there I managed to understand myself better and became much more competent at life. I still have the occasional setback, but I recognise the moment and deal with it with a much better thought process resulting in more positive outcomes. Sometimes the outcome could actually be a release of pent up frustration by means of a scream when I’m on my own without witnesses or punching the cr*p out of my heavy bag. People might say that that is still screwed up, but it’s a coping mechanism that doesn’t negatively impact anyone else.