Maybe I shouldn't say this but........
I was suicidal / extremely wreckless hoping something would happen and I would die. Every few months or so I would get drunk, go into my backyard with my gun, fire several rounds at the ground, put the gun at my temble and hope to pull the trigger, point it at the ground, fire more rounds, and then point it at my temple again. I also continually placed my self in dangerous situations but I never died. After many years I began to realize that I wasn't going to kill myself so I stopped thinking about it. I didn't want to keep being reminded that I was a failure at that too. Several years after that I begun to realize that I was glad I didn't die. Although I'm still not happy atleast I got to experience many things since then. Some of those things were really good too.
IMO, when you are near the bottom **** everything else and just do something, anything that's enjoyable to you even if others think that it's stupid or rediculous. Your life is about you. Screw everybody else. You get one shot at life so try to find some enjoyment out of it. Do something different you may enjoy it.
But, yeah, it also helps if you can find a professional to help you. Happy pills can take the edge off as you learn to change your perspective on life.