Faded
Member
True love, twin flames and happy ever after are such idealistic and over romanticized concepts. They allude to a deeper working of the world where things are meant to be, planned by destiny or even ordained by gods. They also portent to be traversable avenues to true happiness.
Yet in my life, and the lives of those I can observe around me the very opposite is true and the fantasy actually materializing very rare, but still many people think it's real and common. The closest to these concepts I have seen is being 'in love', a temporary phase when human beings overlook flaws and red flags, fueled by hormones and fantasies that harbor these conceptual fallacies. These bursts of euphoria result in kids and mortgages and picket fences, even tattoos of lover's names, but ultimately become remnants of broken relationships when the truths set in.
I think our perspective is warped, or maybe its just mine. Maybe people that have experienced the real world should review these fairytales. We need to realise that these fairytales have also resulted in an industry that seeks to make money, and they perpetuate these kind of lies.
Dating apps embrace the lies we perpetrate while being 'in love'. We appeal to hormones by presenting our best pictures to start the relationship, then most of us lie by omission in the bio to hide red flags and faults, and lie further in chat since being honest about personality faults won't lead to dates. Most people are looking for perfect, just look at the success of romance scammers who tell people what they want to hear. What a mess.
In the end, we are animals who evolved to produce kids no matter what for the sake of survival, and robust emotional constitutions to deal with the aftermath. Hope of finding true love or hope of gradually changing an existing partner into Mr or Mrs perfect is the way we cope with this reality, just like religion helps us cope with the existential problems of reality.
I think I'm better off alone than playing lottery with my heart. Maybe I'll still hope for true love just to appease my soul, or dream about it on careless days, but my mind understands reality. At least I have peace, but is it worth the loneliness? I don't think I can trade the peace and quiet or the freedom from abuse to gamble on the fabrications of my evolutionary compulsions anymore.
Sorry, I guess this just became a rant instead of a thread. It's probably a bunch of bs, but I feel relieved having said it. Mods can remove it if needed since I probably won't stick around anyway.
Yet in my life, and the lives of those I can observe around me the very opposite is true and the fantasy actually materializing very rare, but still many people think it's real and common. The closest to these concepts I have seen is being 'in love', a temporary phase when human beings overlook flaws and red flags, fueled by hormones and fantasies that harbor these conceptual fallacies. These bursts of euphoria result in kids and mortgages and picket fences, even tattoos of lover's names, but ultimately become remnants of broken relationships when the truths set in.
I think our perspective is warped, or maybe its just mine. Maybe people that have experienced the real world should review these fairytales. We need to realise that these fairytales have also resulted in an industry that seeks to make money, and they perpetuate these kind of lies.
Dating apps embrace the lies we perpetrate while being 'in love'. We appeal to hormones by presenting our best pictures to start the relationship, then most of us lie by omission in the bio to hide red flags and faults, and lie further in chat since being honest about personality faults won't lead to dates. Most people are looking for perfect, just look at the success of romance scammers who tell people what they want to hear. What a mess.
In the end, we are animals who evolved to produce kids no matter what for the sake of survival, and robust emotional constitutions to deal with the aftermath. Hope of finding true love or hope of gradually changing an existing partner into Mr or Mrs perfect is the way we cope with this reality, just like religion helps us cope with the existential problems of reality.
I think I'm better off alone than playing lottery with my heart. Maybe I'll still hope for true love just to appease my soul, or dream about it on careless days, but my mind understands reality. At least I have peace, but is it worth the loneliness? I don't think I can trade the peace and quiet or the freedom from abuse to gamble on the fabrications of my evolutionary compulsions anymore.
Sorry, I guess this just became a rant instead of a thread. It's probably a bunch of bs, but I feel relieved having said it. Mods can remove it if needed since I probably won't stick around anyway.
