user 190799
Member
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2023
- Messages
- 14
- Reaction score
- 10
One thing I've realised is that whenever I am alone, I seem to turn having a girlfriend into this magical state that is so amazing I can never live without it, or at least never be happy without it. I do the same with intimacy, making it out as something magical and essential to happiness. The longer I am alone the more idealistic it all becomes, and the more depth I imagine it to have. I remember doing the same as a young man before I ever had a girlfriend. Maybe it's a natural thing.
So after many years of lone wolfing it, I got a girlfriend to fulfill that idealistic fantasy, and reviews are in, and honestly it's very over rated. And It's not her, it's just impossible to reach those ideals. It's the same thing with exes, I think back and start to forget about all the bad in those relationships, and start to over estimate how good it was, leading to much regret.
Anyway, she was interesting, and physically attractive but I just couldn't feel anything meaningful. The intimacy was great but not mind blowing. Then came the fears of losing my freedom. Every time we arranged a date, or made a plan it felt like I was walking deeper and deeper into an increasingly dark alley. Each moment the trepidation increased; fears of being captured somehow and being unable to escape intensifying.
So now I'm left not knowing if feeling negative about loneliness is justified. Does anybody still believe in the romanticized version of love? You know; something meaningful with true love twin flames and all that. Or is the reality of it just plain shallow lust, validation and dependency?
I would be willing to give up freedom for the idealistic 'true' love that doesn't abandon or cheat on you after the bliss wears off, but not for what I've experienced thus far irl.
So after many years of lone wolfing it, I got a girlfriend to fulfill that idealistic fantasy, and reviews are in, and honestly it's very over rated. And It's not her, it's just impossible to reach those ideals. It's the same thing with exes, I think back and start to forget about all the bad in those relationships, and start to over estimate how good it was, leading to much regret.
Anyway, she was interesting, and physically attractive but I just couldn't feel anything meaningful. The intimacy was great but not mind blowing. Then came the fears of losing my freedom. Every time we arranged a date, or made a plan it felt like I was walking deeper and deeper into an increasingly dark alley. Each moment the trepidation increased; fears of being captured somehow and being unable to escape intensifying.
So now I'm left not knowing if feeling negative about loneliness is justified. Does anybody still believe in the romanticized version of love? You know; something meaningful with true love twin flames and all that. Or is the reality of it just plain shallow lust, validation and dependency?
I would be willing to give up freedom for the idealistic 'true' love that doesn't abandon or cheat on you after the bliss wears off, but not for what I've experienced thus far irl.
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