38 male virgin - Pros and Cons of paying for sex

Advertise with us!
Shop on amazon
Find deals on ebay
Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Unsigned said:
I should have stated that I believe BOTH the physical and emotional to be base instincts.
Again, just IMO. I am not an expert.
But I think we NEED to be needed by a female.
It's just something hard wired into our DNA.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure there is some chemical, evolutionary biology explanation for our emotions.

I just personally choose to believe it's also something else, at the same time.
Even with my friends, I don't think it's just the evolutionary instinct to have friends to survive. I feel like it's more meaningful than just an accident of chemistry.

I guess that is something I have blind faith in, after all.
 
Unsigned said:
I don't have the emotional part.
Yes, it is most likely of my own doing based on my "pickiness" and personality traits.
But the emotional part is just as important. Maybe more.
Click to expand...

It's not just about the women you want, it's also about the fact that you gave up. I know plenty of women that ONLY date older guys. Hell, my own grandparents were 18 years apart in age. I have a cousin who had a relationship with close to a 30 year age difference. You just have to understand that when you want something THAT specific, it might take a while to find.
 
TheRealCallie said:
It's not just about the women you want, it's also about the fact that you gave up. I know plenty of women that ONLY date older guys. Hell, my own grandparents were 18 years apart in age. I have a cousin who had a relationship with close to a 30 year age difference. You just have to understand that when you want something THAT specific, it might take a while to find.
Click to expand...
I can admit this. You are right.
Yes I gave up at 19 and never tried after that.
I can give many explanations why (bad childhood, excluded by peers, uninvolved parents, no mentors, etc..).
But yeah, I suppose many guys had it way worse than me and they found a way.
So ultimately, yes it is on me.
 
TheSkaFish said:
Sex is closer to friendship than hard drug use.
Click to expand...

Funny how you two feel so sure about that yet you never did it yourselves, or at least that seems to be the case. Even disregarding all arguments in this discussion, this alone is extremely suggestive. Yes, this is an ad hominem, but it's a reasonable one. You can hardly know what sex is if you haven't ever done it.

okidoke said:
I've avoided drugs all my life. Now I'm starting to regret it. Not just for the possible sex, but for some feeling of ecstasy that's eluded me.
Click to expand...

You're right in feeling like that, you have to experience them to know how bad they are, to know what they truly are. I know these words are empty without the personal experience to back them up, but trust me, you didn't miss much.
 
Mr. Preuss said:
Funny how you two feel so sure about that yet you never did it yourselves, or at least that seems to be the case.
Click to expand...
I've done hard drugs when I was young.
The hardest.
Crack and Angel Dust.
And yes...with prostitutes.
Did nothing for me.
I suppose I should be thankful I never became an addict.
 
Unsigned said:
I've done hard drugs when I was young.
The hardest.
Crack and Angel Dust.
And yes...with prostitutes.
Did nothing for me.
I suppose I should be thankful I never became an addict.
Click to expand...

I mentioned I once dated a girl who started prostituting herself, the main reason was that she wanted money to buy drugs. She was already receiving a small monthly sum as payment for working in her father's business, but apparently that wasn't enough. She also hoped that she could move out and live by herself that way. She said she wasn't addicted, and it never seemed to me that she was, but, even then, you don't have to be addicted for drugs to start making you do bad things. See how it's always the whole package? bad experiences growing up, terrible relationship with her family, particularly her parents, partying hard, drug use and so on. One thing leads to the other and boom! in the blink of an eye, a whole life destroyed. This is why self-control is important. This is why reason is, as the ancients have taught us, the highest, more noble part of the soul, and this is why it should remain in control over the most determining aspects of our lives.
 
Last edited:
Mr. Preuss said:
Funny how you two feel so sure about that yet you never did it yourselves, or at least that seems to be the case. Even disregarding all arguments in this discussion, this alone is extremely suggestive. Yes, this is an ad hominem, but it's a reasonable one. You can hardly know what sex is if you haven't ever done it.
Click to expand...

Sex is seen as a generally good thing though, across most peoples and cultures, and across time.

Something like shooting up heroin, is not. In fact it's almost universally reviled.

I don't know dude. If you don't care about getting a relationship, that's fine. But a lot of people do - more do, than don't, in fact. So it's fair to say that no one should be faulted for wanting this, or for not wanting to give up on it, and take up philosophy instead.

I'm not even sure what we're arguing here.

I'm not saying that a philosophical life absolutely sucks for everyone. Maybe it's exactly what some want.
I just know that it's not the answer for me, though.
 
Mr. Preuss said:
Something something Christianity, Islam, more than half of Earth's population something.
Click to expand...
The two religions you mentioned specifically state "be fruitful and multiply".
Can't do that without a lot of sex.

Oddly enough, it is the "atheist secular humanist" types that decry having babies (at least if you are a 1st Worlder), but still are considered the ones that are supportive of human sexuality.
 
Unsigned said:
The two religions you mentioned specifically state "be fruitful and multiply".
Can't do that without a lot of sex.
Click to expand...

Yet you can be sure that if you could, sex would most likely have been completely proscribed, at least by the Catholic Church. Remember that it's already proscribed if you're a nun or a monk, it takes only a step to forbid it to the common populace as well, the only thing that has always prevented it is that it would have been absurd to do so. However, the early Christian tendency was, without a shadow of a doubt, one of stigmatizing sex and condemning it to the deep, quiet recesses of the home.
 
TheSkaFish said:
I just mean, the physical side is base instinct. But the emotional side, I would say is beyond it.
The physical side is just wanting a hot woman. The emotional side is the feelings part, having someone you care for. That's what I mean.

At some point I realized that being with someone I cared about, was more important to me than just
"getting" a hotter woman than the dudebros did, and "beating" them.

But other than that, I totally agree. Being denied, shut out of that is devastating (and for me, gravely insulting/humiliating - it's like calling me inferior, once again, in a profound, fundamental way that I can't change - I hate it). And that's why I have to get out, because to me, none of those things you listed there would fill the void for me. The genie can't go back in the bottle.

I wouldn't find the philosophy/Newton/Tesla route satisfying either.
Not even if I was granted the ability to be good at whatever I wanted.
The only thing I would think could numb me to it is hard drugs, but I haven't tried them, don't want to, and hope it doesn't come down to that.
Click to expand...
The emotional side is also instinctual. That goes for friendships too. We're programmed to form bonds and feel anxious without that. Being isolated from the group would have been a death sentence. Happily alone isn't our default state
 
Last edited:

Similar threads

N
I'm alone, and I'm scared for what the future holds...
Replies
4
Views
164
Peteyfoozer
P
ardour
Wandering about the city with nothing to do
2
Replies
21
Views
1K
okidoke
okidoke
R
Where do I draw the line?
Replies
10
Views
524
Thomas]
Thomas]
isthatso
Do you have pets?
Replies
10
Views
937
Peteyfoozer
P
W
still alive (barely)
Replies
9
Views
482
TropicalStarfish
TropicalStarfish

Latest posts

Back
Top