I feel like I've just been existing lately. Every day feels the same. Go to work, spend all day at work alone (I work an autonomous job where I'm not required to speak to anyone), come home to my empty house, fall asleep, rinse and repeat. It gets very depressing sometimes. I've been struggling with really bad depression this year with the realisation that I'm getting older and going through life mostly alone without any friends. I'm only 26, but it really does seem like the older you get the harder it is to make friends as people get busier with their own lives. What also doesn't help is that many people already have friends and aren't looking for new friends.
I'm just so tired of feeling like a ghost, just drifting through life and being a spectator watching the world around me while not really partaking in it. I have almost no-one, really just my partner (long-distance and lives in another country, but I am extremely thankful to be in a relationship), my mother and my grandparents, and that's it. It's been like that pretty much my entire life. I have no idea if it will get any better. I wonder if this really is it and I will just have to accept that I was probably destined to live a very lonely life.
I don't know what to do. I've tried so hard to make new friends and it's almost impossible. I don't relate to anyone. I don't "fit in". Most people my age are extroverted and into sports and getting wasted over the weekend. I'm extremely shy and reserved and have very niche interests. Being autistic makes everything far more difficult. I'm just at a complete loss and I wish more than anything that I could have an awesome friend group I could be a part of. Going through life without friends is unbearable.
I'm just so tired of feeling like a ghost, just drifting through life and being a spectator watching the world around me while not really partaking in it. I have almost no-one, really just my partner (long-distance and lives in another country, but I am extremely thankful to be in a relationship), my mother and my grandparents, and that's it. It's been like that pretty much my entire life. I have no idea if it will get any better. I wonder if this really is it and I will just have to accept that I was probably destined to live a very lonely life.
I don't know what to do. I've tried so hard to make new friends and it's almost impossible. I don't relate to anyone. I don't "fit in". Most people my age are extroverted and into sports and getting wasted over the weekend. I'm extremely shy and reserved and have very niche interests. Being autistic makes everything far more difficult. I'm just at a complete loss and I wish more than anything that I could have an awesome friend group I could be a part of. Going through life without friends is unbearable.