Sunless Sky
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What about sexual deviancy? should that also be allowed and regulated by the government in a controlled environment? Right now, it is very underground with criminal organizations making millions from it.
The pressure to have sex
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One man/woman's sexual deviancy is another man/woman's fetish is another's kink is another's boring foreplay. How do you define it? What I see on porn sites these days completely astounds me; the explicitness, the quantity, the commonplace attitude to practices that once were abhorrent to even hear is whispers in hard core circles.
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
Well, those are personal choices and it's a lot harder for the government to regulate. That starts to step on people's individual personal freedoms, in a way that a lot of people would not be OK with.
All societies require their members to trade some freedoms in order to function. Most people are willing to trade the freedom to commit violence to anyone you want, in exchange for the safety, stability, and peace of mind from living in a society where it's commonly understood that aggressive violence is not allowed. However, I doubt that most people would be willing to allow the government into their sex lives (apart, of course, from the roster of XXX models that George Bush bangs on the regular).
I'm afraid I don't have an answer for that, and there may not be an answer to some of these questions. At some point we might not be able to eliminate all crime, and this might be the best we can do until someone else figures it out.
Hoarse Whisperer
You like me and I, like you, like me.
I can't speak for the rest of the western world but America has been transforming into more of a hook-up culture that places value on instant satisfaction instead of meaningful relationships. Many of my friends- male and female alike- have prescribed to this notion of quick relationships and hook-ups. There seems to be more of a focus on quantity over quality of partners.
It has always been the case as far back as I remember that guys were pressured into sex mostly for reputational reasons. When I was in school, guys wanted to have a lot of sex but looked down on girls that did the same.
But no, it isn't a good thing in my opinion. I've read anecdotal reports about the psychological impact of having multiple partners on men and women and although it isn't a clear science, the results weren't positive. There is a reason America has such a vast number of marriages that end in divorce.
It has always been the case as far back as I remember that guys were pressured into sex mostly for reputational reasons. When I was in school, guys wanted to have a lot of sex but looked down on girls that did the same.
But no, it isn't a good thing in my opinion. I've read anecdotal reports about the psychological impact of having multiple partners on men and women and although it isn't a clear science, the results weren't positive. There is a reason America has such a vast number of marriages that end in divorce.
user 191197
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Aside from the aspects already mentioned (Proving your "worth"), capitalism and consumerism plays an important role as well. We learn to treat other humans as another product we should consume. And to consume those human products (in high quantity because it's all about quantity) we need to buy fancy clothes, special perfume, get an expensive car, go to the hip clubs, join dating platforms (with ultra platinum subscription) and so on to get access to those human products. It's like being pressured into driving a car. To do that you need a license and gas and car maintenance and insurance and so on, a never ending list of things to spend money on. Hook-up culture is great for the economy.
No matter if you end up being successful or not with hooking up you will end up asking yourself at some point: Is this everything? Isn't there anything else, something deeper? And then the second phase starts with trying to find yourself and to discover what you really need - relationships. So you spend even more money on counseling and therapy and relationshop guides about how to get to the "other side". Or you start to consume all kinds of things trying to fill this gap inside of you.
No matter if you end up being successful or not with hooking up you will end up asking yourself at some point: Is this everything? Isn't there anything else, something deeper? And then the second phase starts with trying to find yourself and to discover what you really need - relationships. So you spend even more money on counseling and therapy and relationshop guides about how to get to the "other side". Or you start to consume all kinds of things trying to fill this gap inside of you.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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I’m not sure hey you deleted your post, but are you assuming there are no 40 year old female virgins?
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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I know there are. It's just such a statistical rarity and there aren't many 40 year old virgins, and I think there are even less 40 year old virgins who are women than men.
A body count doesn't bother me. If I could tell her I was a virgin, and I wouldn't get judged for it, I wouldn't care how many people she's slept with. But I'd probably be judged for being a 40 year old virgin, even if I'm not judging her for not being a virgin. It's a stigma.
I also felt like I was hijacking the thread with my comment, and that's why I deleted it. I haven't been back on this forum in 8 years, and a lot has happened in my personal life since then and I'm nowhere near the same person I was when I last posted here. The only thing that hasn't changed is that I'm still dateless.
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Okay, so maybe you might get judged, maybe, but certainly not by all, so why dismiss every one of them in the first instance. You're giving up before you even start. You're not hijacking the thread, just rebooting it. If you're nowhere near the same person as you were 8 years ago, then obviously you're not the same virgin either. Don't give up on yourself. It's too easy to do that. As for worrying about your sexual performance, don't. If anything, you can at least educate yourself with regard to what might pleasure women by reading and viewing plenty of material. Learning is half the fun, and believe me, you'll learn quickly, especially if you communicate with the other person freely. Lastly, if you're that worried, tell them you've been in prison since you were 15 and you just recently got out lol. I'm not saying all this is easy, but if it's something you really want, then it's worth trying for. Oh, one final thing, you can always try yourself with a professional to help you learn the ropes. There's no shame in that. Just don't go cheap and don't be an arrogant buttwipe. Good luck.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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Thanks for this reply. You're right that I'm shooting myself in the foot. I don't know where you can meet singles anymore, though. I'm an introvert who hates crowds, so bars are out. I signed up for Bumble a few months ago, is that a good place to meet women? Still figuring out the app.
I'm not opposed to a professional, but it's illegal where I live, and I can't really afford to travel to where it is legal. At least not in this economy. Plus I don't just want sex, I want a relationship.
lol I went back to college and completed a new Bachelor's Degree in the past few years, so I don't think that excuse will work.
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Some people say they've had luck with dating apps, but I'm not a fan of them for various reasons. As for where to find singles, good question. I think the best way to meet any people is to join clubs and interest groups and get to know people, or various online sites, but do those with some care and check reviews of them first to avoid throwing money away. I'm no expert and have issues myself trying to find someone.
I just meant for the intimate experience and knowledge acquirement.
lol I went back to college and completed a new Bachelor's Degree in the past few years, so I don't think that excuse will work.
What degree did you acquire?
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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Thanks for the advice. I'll look for some local meetups.
I'm not really a fan of Bumble so far. A decade ago, I was on the dating site PlentyOfFish. I didn't have much success there, either.
A Bachelor's Degree in English.
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Well well, you should have a wonderful way with words then my friend.
