58 Voyager
Member
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2013
- Messages
- 14
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- 2
Around where I live, go to any bar or pub on any given night and you see men in their 40's to 60's, sitting alone at the bar, nursing a beer....
These men used to be someone's father, someone's husband. The marriage ended, the kids grew up, and society threw these men out on the curb.
I know because I have become one of these men.
My bio is posted elsewhere on this site. http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=30209 for anyone who cares to read it.
Overcoming obstacles and adversity I wouldn't wish on anyone, I made it into the family zone, something I did not have growing up.
I was a good dad, a good husband, the envy of our peers due to the happy lifestyle I provided my ex wife and my two boys.
Yet today, almost 57, no friends, no family, pretty much all alone.
Since I wrote the bio, I became the bigger man, sought treatment for PTSD, reconciled with a nerdy girl I had been dating, and became engaged. We await her divorce..........and wait......and wait....
We live over an hour apart, text throughout the day, video chat at night, spend weekends together.
But 5 nights a week, I still eat dinner alone, sleep alone, watch TV alone.
The friends I had have forgotten me, and when I do make contact, there is that nervous brush off. I can take a hint. It's over.
So, to alleviate the loneliness, I go for a walk at night, and sometimes, end up at the local pub, having a beer, with all these other men who used to be daddies and husbands, and like me, have been thrown out of mainstream society.
We are the unwanted, rejected, discarded. We tried our best, given our own values and programming and childhood incidents we were not allowed to bring out into the open.
Time spent with princess mentality self entitled vindictive partners and their equally bitter friends who labelled and accused us, making us afraid to confront, lies that turned our children against us, made it easier to slither away into the darkness of isolation and loneliness, sitting at a bar at night, quietly drinking our beer, remembering birthdays and Christmas mornings and turkey dinners from years past.
Remembering, remembering the love we felt, the joy of holding our wives in our arms, walking through a park holding our childrens hands, teaching them how to ride a bike or fish or make a peanut butter sandwich for the first time.
Ghostly memories fading into oblivion.
I look at the blank faces of my peers at the bar and think, how many of us had any idea that when we were 8 or 12 or 16, playing with the other kids at the park or street or family function, that one day we would become loners sitting at a bar nursing a drink wondering where it all went wrong.
I blame no one. None of us started out with this in mind. Society and attitudes and expectations and other peoples mean behaviour gradually pushed me, as well as some of my silent beer drinking peers into where we are today.
"Join a club, a gym, volunteer your time, take classes" people say. Sure. Sounds like fun!!!
But it doesn't make my bed warmer at night, or sit across from me at dinner each night.
I did not ever ever ever think I would end up this way....
These men used to be someone's father, someone's husband. The marriage ended, the kids grew up, and society threw these men out on the curb.
I know because I have become one of these men.
My bio is posted elsewhere on this site. http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=30209 for anyone who cares to read it.
Overcoming obstacles and adversity I wouldn't wish on anyone, I made it into the family zone, something I did not have growing up.
I was a good dad, a good husband, the envy of our peers due to the happy lifestyle I provided my ex wife and my two boys.
Yet today, almost 57, no friends, no family, pretty much all alone.
Since I wrote the bio, I became the bigger man, sought treatment for PTSD, reconciled with a nerdy girl I had been dating, and became engaged. We await her divorce..........and wait......and wait....
We live over an hour apart, text throughout the day, video chat at night, spend weekends together.
But 5 nights a week, I still eat dinner alone, sleep alone, watch TV alone.
The friends I had have forgotten me, and when I do make contact, there is that nervous brush off. I can take a hint. It's over.
So, to alleviate the loneliness, I go for a walk at night, and sometimes, end up at the local pub, having a beer, with all these other men who used to be daddies and husbands, and like me, have been thrown out of mainstream society.
We are the unwanted, rejected, discarded. We tried our best, given our own values and programming and childhood incidents we were not allowed to bring out into the open.
Time spent with princess mentality self entitled vindictive partners and their equally bitter friends who labelled and accused us, making us afraid to confront, lies that turned our children against us, made it easier to slither away into the darkness of isolation and loneliness, sitting at a bar at night, quietly drinking our beer, remembering birthdays and Christmas mornings and turkey dinners from years past.
Remembering, remembering the love we felt, the joy of holding our wives in our arms, walking through a park holding our childrens hands, teaching them how to ride a bike or fish or make a peanut butter sandwich for the first time.
Ghostly memories fading into oblivion.
I look at the blank faces of my peers at the bar and think, how many of us had any idea that when we were 8 or 12 or 16, playing with the other kids at the park or street or family function, that one day we would become loners sitting at a bar nursing a drink wondering where it all went wrong.
I blame no one. None of us started out with this in mind. Society and attitudes and expectations and other peoples mean behaviour gradually pushed me, as well as some of my silent beer drinking peers into where we are today.
"Join a club, a gym, volunteer your time, take classes" people say. Sure. Sounds like fun!!!
But it doesn't make my bed warmer at night, or sit across from me at dinner each night.
I did not ever ever ever think I would end up this way....
![Thomas]](https://cdn.imagearchive.com/alonelylife/data/avatars/s/14/14186.jpg?1631136400){kind=avatar}
