Fat Bashing.

I am so sick of fat bashing.

I see and hear it everywhere. People know they are overweight or obese, why do they need to be ridiculed, bullied or excluded from it.

From my observations it sadly seems in quite a number of people to be acceptable to make people feel bad about it. I hear it everyday somewhere outside in my real life and that is not exagerating.

I have seen it on this forum, in dating anecdotes, where the fact the other person was overweight as being a major flaw? Is it really?

The number of sitcoms that I have seen over the years where it is verbally unacceptable to date a "Fatty", The Big Bag Theory, Rules of Engagement, Friends, How I met your Mother to name a few I have heard it in.

So I am not disputing it is unhealthy, and I will bet that a good deal of people overweight or obese would like to be a healthy weight. Being made of fun of isn't going to help. I wonder how many of these people have become overweight/obese due to emotional eating, so it just becomes a vicious circle when they hear things like that.

There are other things that you can draw similarities to that have a proven bad impact to your body as well. For instance Binge drinking, taking illegal and misuse of legal drugs, smoking. But how many people are openly mocked on the same levels?

Fat people have feelings too, the rejection of being fat is awful. Would people date them if they lost weight? They are the same person underneath the blubber.

Rant over.

I completely agree with you. It's one of the last prejudices that is still okay in society's eye. Can't dislike someone for being gay anymore. Can't dislike someone's skin tone anymore. Can't dislike much of anything anymore. Have to cater to everyone's wants and suit people's point of view no matter what. I don't necessarily agree with that either, because I don't think coddling people or telling them what to like and dislike is alright, but being fat is really the only prejudice that's okay to still put into play.

I know I've received comments for it. I know I'm fat, and I don't need to be told that I am or that it's unhealthy or whatever else. But the way I see it, I'd rather be just how am, fat and all, than to be someone else just for the sake of others. I'll readily accept my flaws, and be happy to, than to ever change myself just so others would be happy with me. If people don't like how I look, then they don't have to look.

While I do disagree with the bashing/shaming practice which is more of matter of tone, I doubt that people are ever gonna stop casting judgement on fat people. The reason for not normalizing overweight is the accompanying unhealthiness of course, but what also plays into this is attractiveness. These two factors play together in a rather strange way. The coathanger bodystyle ("models") might be unhealthy as well, but it still seems to be attractive to a higher degree. Something similar might go for drinking, smoking and drug abuse. It is just as unhealthy but unless you see a person turned from an occasional substance user into a withered substance abuser in their final stage, they maintain their attractiveness.

On the point of prejudice. What distinguishes prejudice towards overweight from prejudice towards sexual orientation or skin tone is the matter of choice. The few medical conditions aside, being fat is a choice you take by eating more than your body can process, even if it's just a coping mechanism for a different issue. I don't know how many overweight people would say that's the case for them. Considering this and not wanting to sound ignorant, but what prior judgment is contained within fat prejudice that is factually wrong? For the most part, they are indeed overeating.

Don't mind me, this is just my way of understanding what might distinguish fat shaming from other shaming practices.

Serenia said:

I have seen it on this forum, in dating anecdotes, where the fact the other person was overweight as being a major flaw? Is it really?

The number of sitcoms that I have seen over the years where it is verbally unacceptable to date a "Fatty", The Big Bag Theory, Rules of Engagement, Friends, How I met your Mother to name a few I have heard it in.

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To some people, yes it is a major flaw. And that's their right. Just because they wouldn't date a person that is overweight doesn't mean there is something wrong with the person. That's no different for choosing not to date someone who smokes or drinks or does or any other unhealthy activity

Serenia said:

There are other things that you can draw similarities to that have a proven bad impact to your body as well. For instance Binge drinking, taking illegal and misuse of legal drugs, smoking. But how many people are openly mocked on the same levels?

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Actually, yeah, they kind of do in some areas. As well as people who are too thin or any number of other things.

Serenia said:

Fat people have feelings too, the rejection of being fat is awful. Would people date them if they lost weight? They are the same person underneath the blubber.

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Aside from those with medical conditions that make them unable to lose weight, what is stopping people from losing the weight? Most overweight people know it's not healthy, so why not start the process of losing weight?

There are a lot of people that won't date someone for any number of unhealthy reasons, so why would being overweight be any different? Of course, if they got healthy, those people would date the person, why is that wrong?
Perhaps the people have personal issues that make them uncomfortable dating overweight person.


Yeah, okay, fat shaming is wrong, I wholeheartedly agree with that, but you are sitting here judging people for judging "Fattys" and not dating them. You don't know their reasons, so how does that make you any better?

Also, if you think thin people don't get shamed, you'd be wrong. I hear just as much from people that I should go eat something, that I need some meat on my bones, that I'm way too thin, that I'm unhealthy. And before anyone says anything, I used to be fat, so I've had it on BOTH spectrums and honestly, I get bashed more for being too thin than I ever got it for being fat.

Serenia said:

I am so sick of fat bashing.I see and hear it everywhere. People know they are overweight or obese, why do they need to be ridiculed, bullied or excluded from it.

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Yes, I have often felt that there are a subset of people who really hate fat people (usually thin but sometimes also fat). And when I say hatel;I mean it. A few years ago I was involved in the weight loss blogging movement and there are former fatties who would go around and try to destroy people who were trying to make money off a blog. I mean THEY HATED them. Trying to unmask who they really were, starting blogs to compete with them. It was nasty. Online bullying.

The reason for not normalizing overweight is the accompanying unhealthiness of course,

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This is the excuse. If you want to look into the issue you can find that there is just as much information out there that you can be fat and healthy. I frankly think this "fat =s unhealthy" argument is the excuse for those who want to bully to do so. Some day it will come out -- it already is -- that some of the information about being overweight causing things is wrong. But right now, it is too much of a cash cow for the industry.

On a personal level, I lost a substantial amount of weight a few years ago and my health went to *****. When I complained to the people who were watching me, they couldn't even conceive that losing weight would be a problem --despite the facts. So I wonder how much of this is ignored.

EmilyFoxSeaton said:

On a personal level, I lost a substantial amount of weight a few years ago and my health went to *****. When I complained to the people who were watching me, they couldn't even conceive that losing weight would be a problem --despite the facts. So I wonder how much of this is ignored.

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It also has a lot to do with HOW you lose the weight. You can be unhealthy losing weight if you don't do it the correct way.

On another note, I don't understand how people can say that fat bashing is out of control when there are NUMEROUS movements that are working to help people lose weight. To try to rectify body shaming in any way.

TheRealCallie said:

It also has a lot to do with HOW you lose the weight. You can be unhealthy losing weight if you don't do it the correct way.

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I was being medically monitored with a plan that included nutrients in the food. It was unhealthy for me because it caused my body stress and suppressed my metabolism --causing a drastic increase in my cholesterol and a disruption in all my blood tests.

But my diet masters didn't care. They were so obsessed with the fact that if I were thin I would be healthy, they made me unhealthy. When I got to my goal I wasn't much better as my metabolism remained suppressed.

Fat bashing is out of control with those who want to bash. No one opposes them directly.

Rodent said:

On the point of prejudice. What distinguishes prejudice towards overweight from prejudice towards sexual orientation or skin tone is the matter of choice. The few medical conditions aside, being fat is a choice you take by eating more than your body can process, even if it's just a coping mechanism for a different issue. I don't know how many overweight people would say that's the case for them. Considering this and not wanting to sound ignorant, but what prior judgment is contained within fat prejudice that is factually wrong? For the most part, they are indeed overeating.

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I've heard overweight people say that still can't lose weight eating very low 1200-1400 calorie per day diets, due to thyroid problems, depression, slow metabolism. Not sure what to make of it.

It's still possible to be reasonably healthy while being overweight (although obviously not morbidly obese). We pay for people's sports injuries, side effects from drug taking including alcohol and tobacco... STDs. There's really no reason to take exception to fat people.

I have nothing against fat people, and I think it's unfortunate that fat people feel shamed and bullied, what I am against though is inconsiderate people, I am rather tall as those who read my introduction will know and struggle to fit into the seating on many public transportation vehicles, so my legs can spread out over the half way point or I may need to sit sideways, when people sit next to me I always apologise and will ask if they would like the window seat so I can put my legs sideways briefly onto the isle, if it is still heavily inconveniencing to others I will just stand up and give up my seat.

I can in no way control how tall I am, and when fat people who (with the exception of the few who have genuine health factors which inhibit their ability to maintain a healthy weight) can control their size, sit next to me, squeeze me into the corner, sweat all over me, and say nothing and if anyone was to question them, instantly claim to be the victim of some 'sizeist' agenda.

As my stance on many things if you are happy and you are not hurting others please continue, but if you are causing inconviniences because of your size for others, at least be decent enough to acknowledge them, and not expect the whole of society to change, as a tall person I somewhat understand the struggle of places not being accessible for you, or clothes not being the right size for you, well it's too bad, I understand why that is and accept it. I don't expect people the world to change for me.

If you are not causing problems for others due to your size then you should not have to suffer fat shaming or rude comments, but if you are inconveniencing others and selfishly then the person who is being inconvenienced has a claim to complain and people will have crude opinions it's not great but it's life.

My post is not aimed at anyone in this thread of course, just my opinion (and just that an OPINION), and I happily invite a private discussion on the matter with anyone, if perhaps you feel I have missed something etc.

VanillaCreme said:

I completely agree with you. It's one of the last prejudices that is still okay in society's eye. Can't dislike someone for being gay anymore. Can't dislike someone's skin tone anymore. Can't dislike much of anything anymore. Have to cater to everyone's wants and suit people's point of view no matter what. I don't necessarily agree with that either, because I don't think coddling people or telling them what to like and dislike is alright, but being fat is really the only prejudice that's okay to still put into play.

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Well, lately people (public figures and random folks alike) have spoken out against fat shaming. We need to move further on the matter, but I do believe it's beginning to become less acceptable. In a few years, I wouldn't be surprised if this prejudice won't be put into practice anymore.

Side note: people can certainly dislike someone for being gay or for having a different skin color. To think they shouldn't receive any backlash for it is ridiculous. Ignoring those attitudes is not how progress works.

ardour said:

It's still possible to be reasonably healthy while being overweight (although obviously not morbidly obese).

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This is very true. Because that BMI scale thing is massively incorrect.

VanillaCreme said:

ardour said:

It's still possible to be reasonably healthy while being overweight (although obviously not morbidly obese).

Click to expand...

This is very true. Because that BMI scale thing is massively incorrect.

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Yeah BMI is a poor method, one reason being that many athletes who are at the epitome of health and fitness would be deemed overweight or obese by the system.

ardour said:

I've heard overweight people say that still can't lose weight eating very low 1200-1400 calorie per day diets, due to thyroid problems, depression, slow metabolism. Not sure what to make of it.

It's still possible to be reasonably healthy while being overweight (although obviously not morbidly obese). We pay for people's sports injuries, side effects from drug taking including alcohol and tobacco... STDs. There's really no reason to take exception to fat people.

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That's a fair point. I do have a thyroid problem myself. In fact, it is hypothyroidism which does contribute to a slower metabolism in most cases. Yet I've been slightly underweight for years while taking meds. Before I was diagnosed I was actually rather chubby but then puberty fully hit and I started taking meds. So who knows how much can be attributed to each factor. But then I also moved out and stopped eating cake and cookies every single afternoon since my mom was an avid baker...

And I'm not saying there are not certain margins you can move around in that can be regarded as a healthy weight for your specific bodytype. Independent from the BMI which is superbroad and does not consider medical conditions or whether you are an ecto-, endo- or mesomorph.

VanillaCreme said:

ardour said:

It's still possible to be reasonably healthy while being overweight (although obviously not morbidly obese).

Click to expand...

This is very true. Because that BMI scale thing is massively incorrect.

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I am going to fight that hypo even more. I can't say that being morbidly obese is per se unhealthy. It is yet another case of correlation not causation. For every morbidly obese person who has something wrong with them, such as arthritis or diabetes.. you can find an underweight person who has that problem. In addition there are certain issues that are caused by being morbidly obese that, if corrected, could eliminate the problem. For instance Vitamin D deficiency. So of course, being morbidly obese can cause correlation with diabetes, but, is that because fat traps vitamin D and vitamin D is known to assist with insulin resistance? If I morbidly obese person were to take sufficient vitamin D supplementation would that solve the problem? Likely. The problem is that the medical establishment is lazy and has decided like fat bigots, that being fat is unhealthy and the only solution is losing weight.

EmilyFoxSeaton said:

VanillaCreme said:

ardour said:

It's still possible to be reasonably healthy while being overweight (although obviously not morbidly obese).

Click to expand...

This is very true. Because that BMI scale thing is massively incorrect.

Click to expand...

I am going to fight that hypo even more. I can't say that being morbidly obese is per se unhealthy. It is yet another case of correlation not causation. For every morbidly obese person who has something wrong with them, such as arthritis or diabetes.. you can find an underweight person who has that problem. In addition there are certain issues that are caused by being morbidly obese that, if corrected, could eliminate the problem. For instance Vitamin D deficiency. So of course, being morbidly obese can cause correlation with diabetes, but, is that because fat traps vitamin D and vitamin D is known to assist with insulin resistance? If I morbidly obese person were to take sufficient vitamin D supplementation would that solve the problem? Likely. The problem is that the medical establishment is lazy and has decided like fat bigots, that being fat is unhealthy and the only solution is losing weight.

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People who are morbidly obese has a much higher risk of multiple diseases than people who are thin. That is a proven fact. No, that doesn't mean thin people can't get the diseases, but they have less of a chance of getting them. Therefore, being morbidly obese IS unhealthy.

TheRealCallie said:

People who are morbidly obese has a much higher risk of multiple diseases than people who are thin. That is a proven fact. No, that doesn't mean thin people can't get the diseases, but they have less of a chance of getting them. Therefore, being morbidly obese IS unhealthy.

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Yes, the medical establishment that makes tons of money off dieting and stomach stapling surgery has established that being morbidly obese is CORRELATED with having multi-diseases. But that in no way proves causation. It is akin to saying that males have a higher correlation with heart disease thus, it is a fact that people who are male have a much higher risk of heart disease. Being male IS unhealthy.

It is a fact of life that being a human leads to multi diseases based on what you do or don't do. The only difference with being morbidly obese is that it is something that is visible that people arrogantly think they can make judgments off of.

Jōkā said:

can control their size, sit next to me, squeeze me into the corner, sweat all over me, and say nothing and if anyone was to question them, instantly claim to be the victim of some 'sizeist' agenda.

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Please there is even a blog devoted to photos of men who spread their legs on public transport. There are plenty of fat people that have small footprints and small people that take up tons of room. BTW, it is PUBLIC transport. If your sensibilities are offended by me living my life in public, get thee a car.

TheRealCallie said:

Serenia said:

I have seen it on this forum, in dating anecdotes, where the fact the other person was overweight as being a major flaw? Is it really?

The number of sitcoms that I have seen over the years where it is verbally unacceptable to date a "Fatty", The Big Bag Theory, Rules of Engagement, Friends, How I met your Mother to name a few I have heard it in.

Click to expand...

To some people, yes it is a major flaw. And that's their right. Just because they wouldn't date a person that is overweight doesn't mean there is something wrong with the person. That's no different for choosing not to date someone who smokes or drinks or does or any other unhealthy activity

Serenia said:

There are other things that you can draw similarities to that have a proven bad impact to your body as well. For instance Binge drinking, taking illegal and misuse of legal drugs, smoking. But how many people are openly mocked on the same levels?

Click to expand...

Actually, yeah, they kind of do in some areas. As well as people who are too thin or any number of other things.

Serenia said:

Fat people have feelings too, the rejection of being fat is awful. Would people date them if they lost weight? They are the same person underneath the blubber.

Click to expand...

Aside from those with medical conditions that make them unable to lose weight, what is stopping people from losing the weight? Most overweight people know it's not healthy, so why not start the process of losing weight?

There are a lot of people that won't date someone for any number of unhealthy reasons, so why would being overweight be any different? Of course, if they got healthy, those people would date the person, why is that wrong?
Perhaps the people have personal issues that make them uncomfortable dating overweight person.


Yeah, okay, fat shaming is wrong, I wholeheartedly agree with that, but you are sitting here judging people for judging "Fattys" and not dating them. You don't know their reasons, so how does that make you any better?

Also, if you think thin people don't get shamed, you'd be wrong. I hear just as much from people that I should go eat something, that I need some meat on my bones, that I'm way too thin, that I'm unhealthy. And before anyone says anything, I used to be fat, so I've had it on BOTH spectrums and honestly, I get bashed more for being too thin than I ever got it for being fat.

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Personally I would not date someone if they suddenly found me attractive after losing weight. That is me. I would never be able to form a connection with that person.

I just think that there seems to be a cruelness in the way it is done.

Another observation I made last week with 'customers'. Last week we had a woman who was morbidly obese, who the staff choose to call disgusting behind her back, but not the heroin addict who had stabbed someone for drug money, or the woman who had drunk driven her car into someone in her street while going to the shop for more alcohol.

They should not be saying anything anyway, but it was interesting to see certain members of staff who they found 'disgusting'. In fact one member of staff kept going on and on about it.

EmilyFoxSeaton said:

Jōkā said:

can control their size, sit next to me, squeeze me into the corner, sweat all over me, and say nothing and if anyone was to question them, instantly claim to be the victim of some 'sizeist' agenda.

Click to expand...

Please there is even a blog devoted to photos of men who spread their legs on public transport. There are plenty of fat people that have small footprints and small people that take up tons of room. BTW, it is PUBLIC transport. If your sensibilities are offended by me living my life in public, get thee a car.

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You seemed to of missed my point, like I said in my entire post I too am one of these people who take up more space than the seat is designed for due to long legs, but I am atleast polite enough to acknowledge and apologise to any discomfort I may cause to those around me. When fat people don't do the same it is annoying, some fat people do apologise and I respect them the more for showing consideration and have no problems.