30 and Gay? - your life is now over.

[cumulus.james]

Now that I have reached 30 I find that I have no place and nothing really left to look forward to, mostly because I am gay, which cuts you off from the possibilities open to others.

I don’t fit in with the fashion wearing clubbing and gigging youth now.

Were I straight I could hope to meet someone, and have children, perhaps grand children. I would be working towards building a life for the relationship and/or children.

But those things are closed to me. I am not attractive to gay men so I cant even hope for the odd night of passion let alone long term companionship.

All I can see is night after night of isolation and loneliness, growing steadily more bitter as time goes on. Now there might be a way of coming to terms with that as being an effect of grown old only I never had friendships or relationships of any kind.

I think it is quite hard to have never felt loved, it is worse to have never given love I think.

I think this would be different were I straight. I am certain I would have been married by now and have at least one child. Everyone who grew up around me did.

 

[Callie]

I see a thread full of excuses.

You sit there and say most of your problems are because you're gay and if you weren't then you'd have a girl, and kids and whatever. And how everything would be different if you were straight. I think most of your threads mention something about if you were straight it'd be different. No offense, but it doesn't sound like you want to be gay... now you may not be able to change that, but have you tried?

And don't go protesting what I said, I have nothing against anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, it's a legitimate question.

 

[Badjedidude]

And don't go protesting what I said, I have nothing against anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, it's a legitimate question.

I have to sort of agree. This was my first gut reaction also.

Why do you think you're gay if you're longing to be straight so badly?

 

[freedom]

i've never read any of your other threads, but i have to agree with what Callie is saying. just because you're gay and 30 doesn't mean that your life is over. you've got plenty of good miles left in you. we are all in the ruts that we're in because we want to be.

i, for example, WANT to be alone. i don't want companionship, mostly because it's hard to trust anyone, but also for other reasons. so, it makes no sense to me to complain to others of why no girl is interested in me when i know i really don't feel the desire to be with anyone. why waste my time, you know? i've been there and it SUCKS!

life is what you make of it, or so they say. all that i can say is that you if you really feel bad about all of this, then why not try and make a change for the better?

best of luck.

 

[annik]

I've read a lot of threads here written by gay men and it seems like you all think quite badly of gay men. Saying only young people are what everyone wants and that no one will be faithful to you, even can't be because they are gay. This seems really sad to me. I mean maybe its true, being a girl maybe I know nothing and should shut my trap but I've known a lot of gay men, been around a lot. Surely some gay men want real relationships and aren't just looking for pretty boys?

Maybe this has less to do with you being gay and more to do with you being 30...

 

[nerdygirl]

<.<

My life is over because I'm over 30 and straight.

 

[Vagrant Legacy]

I can't judge about what Callie said now, as I haven't read any of the other threads, but as far as I'm concerned - as long as you're healthy, you can pretty much do everything.

Also..

<.<

My life is over because I'm over 30 and straight.

*hug*

 

[SkuzzieMuff]

Maybe if you did more than bitch about being a gay old man, you'd actually make a difference in your life. There are more than gay clubs to go to, there are also gay bars. And yes, there will be young floozie ones there, but there are also older men that are looking for a relationship. I know a few older gay men that are also deaf, and I imagine that they've got it much harder than you do when it comes to finding partners, but I still see them going on dates, with hearing people that know little to no sign language even. So please, stop complaining, know that it could be worse, and get out of the house to do something about it already.

 

[Minus]

I guess this is the other side of the "Things would be easier if i was gay" threads.

 

[Badjedidude]

I've read a lot of threads here written by gay men and it seems like you all think quite badly of gay men.

I'm honestly confused as to why you'd say that. What gave you the impression that people on this forum don't think well of gay guys?

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

I've read a lot of threads here written by gay men and it seems like you all think quite badly of gay men.

I'm honestly confused as to why you'd say that. What gave you the impression that people on this forum don't think well of gay guys?

That wasn't directed towards ALL Badjedidude.

Annik is saying that even though the original poster is gay he thinks poorly of gays in general.




Unless I've totally missed something...

 

[annik]

I've read a lot of threads here written by gay men and it seems like you all think quite badly of gay men.

I'm honestly confused as to why you'd say that. What gave you the impression that people on this forum don't think well of gay guys?

That wasn't directed towards ALL Badjedidude.

Annik is saying that even though the original poster is gay he thinks poorly of gays in general.




Unless I've totally missed something...

No you're completely right. I was answering the original poster and saying that at lot of the threads written by gay men themselves seem to think badly of other gay men. As if they will never get a committed relationship because they are gay or all gay men only want young guys.

This seems sad to me. Maybe I have a twisted view because Manchester has a massive gay scene that people come from all over the world to enjoy. So in my mind there are plenty of places for gay people to meet. Plus I think of gay people as no different from straight people so surely there are gay men who want a nice partner and good relationship.

 

[VanillaCreme]

You sit there and say most of your problems are because you're gay and if you weren't then you'd have a girl, and kids and whatever. And how everything would be different if you were straight. I think most of your threads mention something about if you were straight it'd be different. No offense, but it doesn't sound like you want to be gay... now you may not be able to change that, but have you tried?

And don't go protesting what I said, I have nothing against anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, it's a legitimate question.

I thought the same, Callie. I was thinking to myself while reading his post... well he wants kids, and isn't attracted to guys... Is he sure he's gay? Maybe he's not really gay. Maybe he just settled with the idea because he thought he was.

I don't know. Just my thoughts. Don't bite my head off either. Because I love gay guys.

 

[annik]

Didn't he say he wasn't attractive to gay men? Not attracted to. Plus he didn't seem to be saying he wants kids only that maybe he'd have them if he were straight. That's how I read it anyway.

 

[cumulus.james]

And don't go protesting what I said, I have nothing against anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, it's a legitimate question.

I have to sort of agree. This was my first gut reaction also.

Why do you think you're gay if you're longing to be straight so badly?

I am not longing to be straight, I am longing for the life opportunity's that straight people have. I don't think I have any sexuality now its been too long and I have been depressed so long most all the sexuality has been drained from me.

Even if one could magically become straight what women would want a guy who had been sleeping with men for 15 years?

---

I've read a lot of threads here written by gay men and it seems like you all think quite badly of gay men.

I'm honestly confused as to why you'd say that. What gave you the impression that people on this forum don't think well of gay guys?

That wasn't directed towards ALL Badjedidude.

Annik is saying that even though the original poster is gay he thinks poorly of gays in general.




Unless I've totally missed something...

yeah I do think quite poorly of Gay Men even though I am one. I've yet to meet a decent gay man. They don't want you for a friend or lover unless there is something to be gained from you. Once they are done they cast you aside. They are never faithful and rarely have a thought for anyone else.

Maybe there are good gay men out there. But I have not met any.

I think you can generalize with British Gay men like you can with British Politicians. British Politicians always have something physically freaky about them, something creepy and downright weird about their personality and most of us accept they have seedy, sinister life's and not a truth passes their lips ever. Like gay guys there might well be the odd few relatively normal decent politician in the UK, but you'd be hard pressed to find one!

 

[Callie]

And don't go protesting what I said, I have nothing against anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, it's a legitimate question.

I have to sort of agree. This was my first gut reaction also.

Why do you think you're gay if you're longing to be straight so badly?

I am not longing to be straight, I am longing for the life opportunity's that straight people have. I don't think I have any sexuality now its been too long and I have been depressed so long most all the sexuality has been drained from me.

Even if one could magically become straight what women would want a guy who had been sleeping with men for 15 years?

I'm sorry, but if you've been SLEEPING with men for 15 YEARS, how can you say they don't find you attractive?

You just contradicted yourself.....

---

yeah I do think quite poorly of Gay Men even though I am one. I've yet to meet a decent gay man. They don't want you for a friend or lover unless there is something to be gained from you. Once they are done they cast you aside. They are never faithful and rarely have a thought for anyone else.

Maybe there are good gay men out there. But I have not met any.

I think you can generalize with British Gay men like you can with British Politicians. British Politicians always have something physically freaky about them, something creepy and downright weird about their personality and most of us accept they have seedy, sinister life's and not a truth passes their lips ever. Like gay guys there might well be the odd few relatively normal decent politician in the UK, but you'd be hard pressed to find one!

Sounds to me like it's YOU that has the problem with trusting people. I know a lot of fantastic gay men. Before you start blaming others for your lack of a partner, perhaps you should look at yourself and what you are thinking about life and people in general.

 

[cumulus.james]

Didn't he say he wasn't attractive to gay men? Not attracted to. Plus he didn't seem to be saying he wants kids only that maybe he'd have them if he were straight. That's how I read it anyway.

I am not attractive to gay men, not even very old ones! However I see fatter uglier blokes than me partners, sometimes many times more attractive than they themselves are. If your bot "fit" you'd better be Rich, Powerful or have an incredible personality to make up for it.

I desperately want children, I have since I was 14. Its something that played a roll in messing me up, I was trying so hard in my teens to not be gay and convince myself it was just a phase because all I wanted was the house and family.

See i am now trying to come to terms with the fact I will never have a partner, friendships, the house or family or any of that stuff. It's a hell of a lot of darkness to have to face up to. In addition to that I have Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety disorder.

I am not saying I am any worse off than anyone else on here. But I do think I am entitled to my despair.

---

And don't go protesting what I said, I have nothing against anyone regardless of their sexual orientation, it's a legitimate question.

I have to sort of agree. This was my first gut reaction also.

Why do you think you're gay if you're longing to be straight so badly?

I am not longing to be straight, I am longing for the life opportunity's that straight people have. I don't think I have any sexuality now its been too long and I have been depressed so long most all the sexuality has been drained from me.

Even if one could magically become straight what women would want a guy who had been sleeping with men for 15 years?

I'm sorry, but if you've been SLEEPING with men for 15 YEARS, how can you say they don't find you attractive?

You just contradicted yourself.....

---

Sounds to me like it's YOU that has the problem with trusting people. I know a lot of fantastic gay men. Before you start blaming others for your lack of a partner, perhaps you should look at yourself and what you are thinking about life and people in general.

---

I did not contradict myself. I have not had sex since 2005. But I was around 14 when I started having sex with gay men. I got away with it for a few years because i had youth on my side. If your 17 you can be fat and or ugly and still get lost of sex with gay guys. Over 25 and ugly your going to struggle. Especially when you have no confidence or self esteem, and have seen yourself in the mirror.

 

[annik]

Well I read it wrong about the kids thing then sorry about that.

I kind of know what you mean. I'm almost 30 and I did think / hope that I'd have a partner or be married maybe even kids by now.

While I don't think that I'll never have that now I can't help wishing I'd got to do it when I was younger. I think I have the turning 30 blues quite bad.

 

[Badjedidude]

That wasn't directed towards ALL Badjedidude.

Annik is saying that even though the original poster is gay he thinks poorly of gays in general.

Ahhhh OK.

Yeah it confused me for a second. We've always been quite open and welcoming to all peoples here on ALL.

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

We've always been quite open and welcoming to all peoples here on ALL.

Except for you Badjedidude -_- What's that all about? Being discriminatory to discriminators? I'm disappointed man...

We don't take kindly to people who don't take kindly around here.