A living bottle

[xninjaguyx]

I feel like the thread name. I use to be a pretty emotional guy, maybe even a bit sensitive at times. For years now I've felt a lot of nothing. Most of my time time is spent alone with no reason to communicate what I feel or what Im thinking. I often text or write better than I speak and I feel dumb around people I dont connect to. I wont necessarily say Im smart, but I understand things easily and Im quick to adapt. I just feel braindead around others and second guess myself while Im talking. I become awkward and quickly change a relationship with a few stumbled words. What I originally wanted to say comes out completely different. People who dont make eye contact with me often dont understand my point. I keep my emotions in check, and although I have a good sense of humor, people cant always tell if Im laughing or not. I try to show expression even if there isnt much but then worry that I might look weird or maybe forced. I feel both my physical and mental health deteriorating day by day. I think and act best when Im alone and hate myself for it. I keep myself in a medium of depression and content. When I get sad I get really sad and when I get angry I get really angry. Im afraid of an emotional breakdown.

If u made it this far, any thoughts or anything you would like to share?

 

[Legato]

Hi xninjaguyx,

Sorry to hear you feel like this.

I'd say that post was pretty much spot on with how I felt a few years ago. Still to this day I'm a pretty sensitive guy. I looked back at my old school reports and it's always been the same, teachers noticing I'm a tad sensitive. I don't cry a lot, but when something upsets me, I feel it inside for a long long time.

You look at yourself as being an awkward guy. I think most people on here are awkward. Sometimes it can be a feat. You may look at it as being a horrible thing to have, but the more social situations you put yourself, the better you become. In my opinion (I may be wrong), it just sounds like you need to meet that one person who can understand you.

I advise everybody they should do more activities, exercise or find a hobby as that will deal with the health issue side.

If you do have hobbies, I'd look into doing them more. You're bound to bump into someone who has the same feats as you. You shouldn't feel you need to change. People usually end up liking you for who you are. It's just a lot of trial and error.

Have more confidence in yourself. Don't feel like you're gonna slip up with every word that comes out. People love others with confidence. They'll soon understand your humor, and when you see them understanding you more, you'll slowly begin to relax.

Don't rush it though, things like this take time. Just set yourself little social goals, and try and complete them. I'm sure it will make you feel better.

Best of luck

 

[xninjaguyx]

Best of luck

I appreciate ur insight bro. I actually dont think of myself as an awkward person, I just have awkward moments. In fact, considering my circumstances, confidence is one my best traits (; ...except around my father...
But yea I definately need a gf or someone I can relate with.
I used to exercise daily maybe a year or two back but just havent had the motivation for it recently.
I dont want to change who I am, just my lifestyle.
I can meet people and make friends easily, I just have a hard time keeping a relationship usually cuz I let too much time pass without making contact with them.
I stiffen up in large crowds and should probably find methods to catch my breath.

Best of luck to you too!

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

Hey Ninja, Im still quite new but in the short time ive been here Ive read a great number of posts/threads expressing similar accounts of social akwardness, which actualy gave me a sense of relief that im not the only one to have felt this way & that its quite common, theres great advice in Legato's post above about taking simple steps to breaking this problem down & it truly works, a simple approach is normaly the best approach to many things, I changed my attitude & made simple changes that in turn helped to make massive changes in my life, as a result Im very comfortable in social interaction now, with the help of a beautiful woman who helped me come to the conclusion that if I wanted things to be better for myself I have to make a conscious effort to do what I can to change them, so I challenged myself set little goals that if I was invited out or given oppourtunity's to go out I'd always say yes & when out Im not to shy away from conversation, and if no oppourtunities arose I'd take it upon myself to get out & do social things, also learnt to aussure myself that if I had akward moments it was just a normal part of life because its impossible to relate to everyone, I got new hobbies putting myself into more social enviroments to overcome my self consciousness, I basicaly did everything I could to take as much pressure off myself to make myself feel comfortable & it all started by changing the way I was thinking the biggest battle in life is the battle we have in our selves, alot of the thorts I had worries of how people portayed me, if they thort I was weird am I acting weird? do I look okay? Am I dressed right? am I making sense when I talk? am I acting right? Wonder if they like me, all these kinda thorts I changed because I realised that my biggest problem wasnt them accepting me but me accepting me, so I took small steps and in time I broke myself from those shackles & now Im living so happy & free, as a matter of fact today I went to the gym with a beautiful girl at 9am this morning so beautiful she stops traffic, for months I wldnt go out with her kept turning down her offers cos I couldnt understand why she would wanna kick it with me, I was afraid of what she would think of me if I opened myself up, anyways we had coffee, sat and chilled had lunch, things felt so free & easy we conversated all afternoon had the most wonderful day, she's the very same girl who made me realise I needed to change, it has taken her a whole year of pushing me, encouraging and supporting me to get from where you are in your situation to where I am in mine, so im living proof that taking simple steps making small changes in turn lead to massive changes in your life but 1st we must aknowledge the need to make a conscious effort for change, I hope this post helps to better understand, support, move & inspire you and any others who read it like my friends kindness did for me, Blessings!

 

[xninjaguyx]

Hey Ninja, Im still quite new but in the short time ive been here Ive read a great number of posts/threads expressing similar accounts of social akwardness, which actualy gave me a sense of relief that im not the only one to have felt this way & that its quite common, theres great advice in Legato's post above about taking simple steps to breaking this problem down & it truly works, a simple approach is normaly the best approach to many things, I changed my attitude & made simple changes that in turn helped to make massive changes in my life, as a result Im very comfortable in social interaction now, with the help of a beautiful woman who helped me come to the conclusion that if I wanted things to be better for myself I have to make a conscious effort to do what I can to change them, so I challenged myself set little goals that if I was invited out or given oppourtunity's to go out I'd always say yes & when out Im not to shy away from conversation, and if no oppourtunities arose I'd take it upon myself to get out & do social things, also learnt to aussure myself that if I had akward moments it was just a normal part of life because its impossible to relate to everyone, I got new hobbies putting myself into more social enviroments to overcome my self consciousness, I basicaly did everything I could to take as much pressure off myself to make myself feel comfortable & it all started by changing the way I was thinking the biggest battle in life is the battle we have in our selves, alot of the thorts I had worries of how people portayed me, if they thort I was weird am I acting weird? do I look okay? Am I dressed right? am I making sense when I talk? am I acting right? Wonder if they like me, all these kinda thorts I changed because I realised that my biggest problem wasnt them accepting me but me accepting me, so I took small steps and in time I broke myself from those shackles & now Im living so happy & free, as a matter of fact today I went to the gym with a beautiful girl at 9am this morning so beautiful she stops traffic, for months I wldnt go out with her kept turning down her offers cos I couldnt understand why she would wanna kick it with me, I was afraid of what she would think of me if I opened myself up, anyways we had coffee, sat and chilled had lunch, things felt so free & easy we conversated all afternoon had the most wonderful day, she's the very same girl who made me realise I needed to change, it has taken her a whole year of pushing me, encouraging and supporting me to get from where you are in your situation to where I am in mine, so im living proof that taking simple steps making small changes in turn lead to massive changes in your life but 1st we must aknowledge the need to make a conscious effort for change, I hope this post helps to better understand, support, move & inspire you and any others who read it like my friends kindness did for me, Blessings!

Im glad to hear that. I agree that attitude is the first and biggest step and sets the whole atmosphere. I try to keep a positive attitude but letdown after letdown makes things seem hopeless. But if there's one thing I wont let go of its hope. Even with that said life seems really hopeless but usually after a good nights sleep or after a few deep breaths I can get back on my feet again. Thanks man and its good to know that u were in a similar situation but now ur doing great.

 

[jetsuo]

sounds like you have social anxiety and are too self aware of what people think of you.
I can relate to this from my own past.

You can only break out of this gradually.
day by day get out of your comfort zone taking baby steps.

For example, go up to a pretty girl and ask for the time, then walk away.
Next time, ask for the time and ask for directions then walk away.
Third time add a compliment and walk away. This takes pressure off and slowly builds you up. I actually did this myself and found myself getting into full blown convos, but regardless of that i felt goo about myself at the end of the day. the next day its easier and you natrually become more relaxed and confident.
Theres also mental tricks you can do but wont go intobthat now

 

[PrinceOfPeace]

Hey Ninja, Im still quite new but in the short time ive been here Ive read a great number of posts/threads expressing similar accounts of social akwardness, which actualy gave me a sense of relief that im not the only one to have felt this way & that its quite common, theres great advice in Legato's post above about taking simple steps to breaking this problem down & it truly works, a simple approach is normaly the best approach to many things, I changed my attitude & made simple changes that in turn helped to make massive changes in my life, as a result Im very comfortable in social interaction now, with the help of a beautiful woman who helped me come to the conclusion that if I wanted things to be better for myself I have to make a conscious effort to do what I can to change them, so I challenged myself set little goals that if I was invited out or given oppourtunity's to go out I'd always say yes & when out Im not to shy away from conversation, and if no oppourtunities arose I'd take it upon myself to get out & do social things, also learnt to aussure myself that if I had akward moments it was just a normal part of life because its impossible to relate to everyone, I got new hobbies putting myself into more social enviroments to overcome my self consciousness, I basicaly did everything I could to take as much pressure off myself to make myself feel comfortable & it all started by changing the way I was thinking the biggest battle in life is the battle we have in our selves, alot of the thorts I had worries of how people portayed me, if they thort I was weird am I acting weird? do I look okay? Am I dressed right? am I making sense when I talk? am I acting right? Wonder if they like me, all these kinda thorts I changed because I realised that my biggest problem wasnt them accepting me but me accepting me, so I took small steps and in time I broke myself from those shackles & now Im living so happy & free, as a matter of fact today I went to the gym with a beautiful girl at 9am this morning so beautiful she stops traffic, for months I wldnt go out with her kept turning down her offers cos I couldnt understand why she would wanna kick it with me, I was afraid of what she would think of me if I opened myself up, anyways we had coffee, sat and chilled had lunch, things felt so free & easy we conversated all afternoon had the most wonderful day, she's the very same girl who made me realise I needed to change, it has taken her a whole year of pushing me, encouraging and supporting me to get from where you are in your situation to where I am in mine, so im living proof that taking simple steps making small changes in turn lead to massive changes in your life but 1st we must aknowledge the need to make a conscious effort for change, I hope this post helps to better understand, support, move & inspire you and any others who read it like my friends kindness did for me, Blessings!

Im glad to hear that. I agree that attitude is the first and biggest step and sets the whole atmosphere. I try to keep a positive attitude but letdown after letdown makes things seem hopeless. But if there's one thing I wont let go of its hope. Even with that said life seems really hopeless but usually after a good nights sleep or after a few deep breaths I can get back on my feet again. Thanks man and its good to know that u were in a similar situation but now ur doing great.

Yvw & ty aswell, ( let down after let down ) I know where your coming from there dude,but you have hope & it seems like u got a great attitude so Im sure you will come out the other side of this with flying colours, all the best my friend

 

[xninjaguyx]

sounds like you have social anxiety and are too self aware of what people think of you.
I can relate to this from my own past.

You can only break out of this gradually.
day by day get out of your comfort zone taking baby steps.

For example, go up to a pretty girl and ask for the time, then walk away.
Next time, ask for the time and ask for directions then walk away.
Third time add a compliment and walk away. This takes pressure off and slowly builds you up. I actually did this myself and found myself getting into full blown convos, but regardless of that i felt goo about myself at the end of the day. the next day its easier and you natrually become more relaxed and confident.
Theres also mental tricks you can do but wont go intobthat now

That sounds rude. Shouldn't I at least wait for them to answer? lol

 

[LoneKiller]

Nice to meet you xninjaguyx. Try doing things that will boost your self confidence. This will make it much easier for you to be around others. Do things like martial arts, maybe boxing. If you like to do things like write poetry, draw, paint, or whatever, do them and look for others who are into the same interests.

The conversation will be much easier thus causing your confidence and social guts to improve dramatically.

 

[Mike413]

You guys think you have it bad. Try being unemployed and not having any friends or social life. My life is just a big nothing. Just nothing but dead air.

 

[LoneKiller]

You guys think you have it bad. Try being unemployed and not having any friends or social life. My life is just a big nothing. Just nothing but dead air.

Hi Mike413.

I'm not trying to sound like a prick, and I'm deeply sorry to hear that you are so alone, but we aren't trying to "1up" each other here when it comes to the magnitude of the suffering each of us in enduring right now in our lives.

You have joined this forum which is a great step in the right direction, but would you say that you are putting EVERYTHING you have in your heart to improve your life, or are you just sitting around obsessing over it in a bad light?

I was in a similar situation to yours and have improved it some by putting much effort into it. I've read many posts about this kind of situation here, and in many cases the suffering one makes no real effort to correct it.

Again, I don't mean to sound like a prick or some guru, but I hate seeing others suffer when there may be ways to help fix it. It's not society's responsibility to give you a life. You must make one.

I know that I'm being harsh, but I'm just expressing my concern in the most honest way I can. Candy coating my words will do nothing to help you. Everyone has the right to be happy. If you are feeling particularly lonely some night, send me a pm or e-mail and I will be more than happy to spend time talking with you.


God Bless.
LK

 

[xninjaguyx]

Nice to meet you xninjaguyx. Try doing things that will boost your self confidence. This will make it much easier for you to be around others. Do things like martial arts, maybe boxing. If you like to do things like write poetry, draw, paint, or whatever, do them and look for others who are into the same interests.

The conversation will be much easier thus causing your confidence and social guts to improve dramatically.

Nice to meet you too! A couple years ago I used to go the gym almost daily, and it boosted my confidence 20x. Im fortunate in that I can lose and gain weight easily. Im pretty tall so I never looked overweight, but within about a month or so I lost close to 60 pounds. I haven't put the weight back on, but I when I find the time I'd like to get a new membership and hit the gym again.

You guys think you have it bad. Try being unemployed and not having any friends or social life. My life is just a big nothing. Just nothing but dead air.

I've also got no social life and I've lost all my friends. I was unemployed for over a month until today. I went to Mcdonald's amd after just a few words and a personality test I got a manager position without even an interview. i start working tommorow.