A social outsider by birth

[OutsiderLookingIn]

Or so it seems. Hi, just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Andrea, I'm pushing 60 and have always had issues with people, making friends and maintaining relationships. I was born into an unhealthy marriage, my parents constantly fought and our father couldn't be bothered with being a husband or a dad, they divorced when I was 5 and my mother morphed into an angry violent bully. I never wanted to live a domestic life as a result.

Yes, I am lonely - some days are worse than others - but it beats being with people that are indifferent to my presence.

Oh, I like music, movies, art, books, ice hockey and cats. Dogs too. lol

Glad to be with good company.

 

[Homebound]

Greetings. Have you read a lot growing up, to have book friends? I have done that.

 

[Minus]

Welcome to the forums

 

[OutsiderLookingIn]

Greetings. Have you read a lot growing up, to have book friends? I have done that.

Hi, sadly no, I didn't read as much as I should have. My parents were abusive regarding intelligence and treated me like I would just never "get" the world around me, I questioned my own intellect. I was too unconfident to read Tolkien and didn't get around to it until the film series in my forties... I would have loved them a kid. There's so much I missed out on.

 

[OutsiderLookingIn]

Welcome to the forums

Thank you for having me.

 

[JJW]

My parents were abusive regarding intelligence and treated me like I would just never "get" the world around me, I questioned my own intellect.

Same here. I was convinced I was inferior and stupid, and my confidence was so damaged I had a notion that I wasn't important enough to get help if I was bleeding on the side of the road. It's like everyone knew how worthless I was.

From my perspective it seemed everyone knew how to do what they did. I felt I was missing something that everyone else was born with. I was just me and of no particular concern to anyone.

My parents blamed me for being who they made me.

Well, now that I got that out of my system, welcome to a lonely life.

 

[Abstamyous]

Welcome to the forum

 

[Sarah G]

Welcome. I had a bullying mother too, so bad for self-esteem. I hope you enjoy the forum.

 

[OutsiderLookingIn]

Welcome. I had a bullying mother too, so bad for self-esteem. I hope you enjoy the forum.

Thank you Sarah! We get along better now but it's because I'm no longer afraid of her and told her so.

 

[OutsiderLookingIn]

Same here. I was convinced I was inferior and stupid, and my confidence was so damaged I had a notion that I wasn't important enough to get help if I was bleeding on the side of the road. It's like everyone knew how worthless I was.

From my perspective it seemed everyone knew how to do what they did. I felt I was missing something that everyone else was born with. I was just me and of no particular concern to anyone.

My parents blamed me for being who they made me.

Well, now that I got that out of my system, welcome to a lonely life.

Thank you JJW!

 

[Sebiguess]

Or so it seems. Hi, just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Andrea, I'm pushing 60 and have always had issues with people, making friends and maintaining relationships. I was born into an unhealthy marriage, my parents constantly fought and our father couldn't be bothered with being a husband or a dad, they divorced when I was 5 and my mother morphed into an angry violent bully. I never wanted to live a domestic life as a result.

Yes, I am lonely - some days are worse than others - but it beats being with people that are indifferent to my presence.

Oh, I like music, movies, art, books, ice hockey and cats. Dogs too. lol

Glad to be with good company.

Hello Andrea. Nice name! I can relate to what you said about being lonely; very well put. I’m new here same as you. Sounds like there might be other similarities too
Seb

 

[TheRealCallie]

Hi, Andrea. Welcome

 

[DenverDave]

Welcome, @OutsiderLookingIn!

 

[Diagnosed]

The more I learned I should be the way I am, I tried to avoid ppl were misled the way I am.
If I said I was 60 I showed an actual profile picture I was last week...

The loneliness I´m enduring is MY FAULT, my own mistake (no others).

I won´t say it´s "their" fault: I´m an unachiever.

I´m NOT what they think I should be.

 

[JJW]

I´m NOT what they think I should be.

Why is it important that you be what they think you should? Most people have unrealistic perspectives. Isn't it logical to be what you think you should be?

 

[Diagnosed]

Why is it important that you be what they think you should? Most people have unrealistic perspectives. Isn't it logical to be what you think you should be?

I could be also wrong my "own" way, but I lead my own thing, as I could: Unrealistic or not.

 

[JJW]

Unrealistic or not.

If you got there it wasn't unrealistic.

I've got some pretty high goals. The only limit is the one you set for yourself. Just keep on keeping on.

 

[Melli12]

Hello Andrea,

welcome to the forum. <3

I just thought, that negative self-beliefs can be so powerful and hard to change.
Did you ever try to do something you thought you can't, f.e. reading a Tolkien book?
I hope, that this forum may help you to feel less lonely.